Category Archives: WTF?

Rock

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Sometimes being a blogger (writer? Can a blogger call themselves a writer?) is hard. There is so much swirling around in my head right now, things that are just begging to be written down, that need to be written down, but I can’t quite find the words. On the whole, things are good; great even. So much to look forward to, to be proud of, that keeps me going, is the reason I wake up in the morning, that I want to share, remember, hold on to. So much I can’t wait to share with the blogosphere.

But sometimes? There are weeks that are just pure and utter crap. Craptastic weeks, if you will. Maybe nothing that happened to you directly but instead to those you love, those around you. And sometimes that’s just as bad because you are linked to these people, want only the best for them. Being helpless and unable to do anything to directly fix or influence the situation is really hard, especially when you’re like me and kind of have a tendency to be a planner (ahem, I suppose that’s also called a control freak) and always want to help. Feeling helpless just isn’t my thing.  And sometimes the effect of the crap others are dealing with flows downwards, affects me in ways I wish it wouldn’t.

Times like this, when others are hurting or going through crap is when you have to be brave and strong, be that rock for those that need you. Turn to your friends and family who are your rocks when you need them (because sometimes being a rock all the time, it takes its toll, even though you’re more than happy to be there for those in need).

On weeks like this, I take laughs where I can find them. Extra cuddles from Jack. I lean into Knight a little bit more. I ask for hugs from my parents on a more regular basis. I try to think outside the box to make the craptastic situations better. I treat myself to a ridiculously indulgent lunch because I can. I watch more Veronica Mars episodes on streaming Netflix than should be allowed. I blare really loud rock music on my way home from work. I carve out time for myself even if that means canceling plans. I spend a little extra time on my hair and planning my outfit simply because it makes me feel better. I journal, type up entire blog posts and then delete them, all because it feels good to get it out. I chat with friends who are always there for me, and new ones too who can relate.  I remind myself that it’s just one week of a downpour.  1/52 of the entire year.

Just Breathe

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First things first! The Winner of the All Natural Insect Repellent goes to Becky from Love Everyday Life! Thanks to random.org for generating a random number for me, that number being commenter Number Eight. Thanks to everyone who entered and be on the lookout for another giveway in October.

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I’ve done it again.

I’ve totally overbooked myself. Between my final upcoming graduate school class, starting to train for a 10k, working more hours in the office, catching up with friends and family, devoting time to this little blog and all the fabulous friends I’ve met through it, VEDA, book clubs, being a good dog mama, and attempting to be good to myself, life is more than a little hectic. Add to that Round 10,000 of weddings starting in a few weeks and I’m just a tad bit stressed. Let’s not even add the fact that people think I should be dating (as if I have time and even if I did focusing on being me is exactly where I need to be) and ask me why I’m not married with two kids (because evidently that’s what I’m supposed to do).**

I know that I do this to myself. I’m a people pleaser; my life takes a backseat more often than not and I know that only I can control it. But I struggle with finding the balance between living my life for me and living my life for everyone else. I love to tackle new challenges but sometimes those challenges start owning my life when in fact, it should be the other way around.

There are days where I feel like I’m holding my breath… waiting. Waiting for October 15th when I’ll be free of school forever. Waiting for early 2011 when I’ll hopefully be fortunate enough to buy my own place and I can live along again. Waiting for a free weekend to catch up on rest, reading, quality time with the couch and Jack (as he’s severely lacking Dog Mama Cuddles right now).

It’s taking its toll on me, all this waiting and breath holding. I’m not sleeping well. I’m constantly on edge. I don’t remember the meaning of the word “relax.”

I know there is no point in wishing my life away, hoping for things to settle down because that’s not what life is all about. It’s about living in the here and now which I’ve been striving to do this summer amidst the chaos. It’s about being thankful for what you have; rather than curse my planner for being overly full I should be thankful for the people who call me their friends and the family who wants to see me. I should be glad that I’m able to go to graduate school and finally finish my degree two years later. And I am thankful, trust me.

Sometimes though I wish I could just shut the world out for a few days. Make all the noise in my head stop (I think too much; it’s like Times Square in my head somedays with all the thoughts zooming around) and just breathe.

While I’m teaching myself to just breathe again, I’ll be focusing on living in the here and now (not wishing my life away), paring down my schedule (by saying no to things I really don’t want to do), opening up some days on my calendar (to focus on things I do love) and allowing myself to relax.

What are your cures for an overbooked and frazzled schedule?

** Seriously, I’ve had several “Friends” ask me why I’m not married already which is both salt in the wound and frustrating! Yes, I want to get there someday but right now I need to continue to focus on me. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship/the dating scene right now.

Open Letters: HP, Storks, (M)TV and more

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Dear Harry Potter Series,

I *finally* get what all the hype was about. The books are imaginative,  the writing creative but not too flowery, and the plot is definitely a page turner. I’m enjoying the first book and look forward to the others.

Yours in Reading,
Nora

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Attn: Stork
From: Nora

I love that so many of my friends are having babies (I know a total of 15 people pregnant right now), but could you try to space it out a little bit more? I’m all for baby showers but about half these showers are in the next few months and I’m not sure my checkbook can handle it.

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Yo, weekends. I don’t know what the deal is. I get up early and stay up late so that I can enjoy and still you fly by. I don’t get it. Do what you can to slow the heck down in the future.

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Sunday Night TV,

I’m not sure why you decided it was necessary to schedule my two favorite shows at the same time. You know this girl doesn’t have DVR and thus I have to decide each week which show to watch. I’m hopelessly behind on one of them and would appreciate it if going forward you could be more schedule-friendly for me.

Sincerely,
Already Over Scheduled Nora

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To My Neighbors,

Would it be possible for you to ask your lawn service dudes to not come at 7am on a Saturday morning? Even if some of us are up and about, we’d rather not have the background to our breakfast be the sound of mowers. It would also be awesome if you could ask your lawn service dudes to refrain from blocking the entire road when they park.

With Respect,
The Girl who likes peace and quiet on Saturday Morning

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MTV:
You made a big, big mistake last week.
You know what I’m talking about.
I kind of hate you right now.
- Definitely no longer a fan

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Summer Nights,

There is sometimes nothing sweeter than sitting poolside, an ice cold beer in my hands, Jack at my feet, my family around me, just talking, laughing, enjoying. Thanks for extending your daylight hours for us and giving us these opportunities.

With Great Appreciation,
Nora

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Do you have any letters you’d like to write today?

Does Not Compute

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A most random list of things that I can’t quite comprehend this week…

* Why my professor decided that group work in an online setting would be a good idea. My “groupmates” are spread out across time zones and cities, rarely check the discussion board and I’m thus far I’m left doing most of the work.

* Is it really necessary to send an email to me, then call to confirm that I’ve received it?

* This whole BP oil spill thing. We have some of the most talented minds in the world residing within our nation’s borders and we can’t figure out how to effectively cap this thing (without losing more lives)? Isn’t there someone with a masters in environmental science that can figure this thing out?

* Why we can’t have three months of summer even once we’ve graduated college.

* Calories. I’m counting calories again (it helps keep me accountable) and even eating the healthiest of foods they rack up in a blink of an eye. At least I know I’m getting a lot of my fiber, protein and vitamins through what I’m eating but it’s still kind of sad.

* People who still text while driving. And who put their make-up on while driving. Or read the paper while driving. I’ve seen all these things in the last few weeks. Makes me stabby.

* Waking up with a start at 3am for no apparent reason.

* The never-ending pile of laundry that seems to take over my room these days.

Anything going on in your world that “doesn’t compute” for you?

Nora Confessions Part IX

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View all previous installments here.

* I’ve had a .50 overdue fee at the library for the last two years. It’s finally paid.

* I’m pretty sure I have more celebrity crushes than I do real life crushes (Aksel Lund Svindal, Evan Lysacek, Russell Brand, Adam Braverman, Puck.) I hope this doesn’t make me too pathetic.

* When I go to concerts of my absolute favorite artists/bands, I dress up, just in case they see me and decide to invite me on stage.

* I think I have a marginally addictive personality when it comes to TV shows, book series, and exercise.

* I”m 26 and I need the TV on in the background, a glass of water next to my bed, and something in my arms if I’m going to be able to fall asleep.

* I gave up ballet and tap  at the end of my 8th grade year; this may be my one regret.

* In the last few months I’ve gone shopping for several baby showers. On more than one occasion I’ve broken down in tears, afraid that I may never get to that point in my life. Thank goodness for sunglasses.

* Some days when my knee is really bothering me, I yell at it. Probably counterproductive, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better.

* I think I’m getting a nose ring this weekend pending available appointments and the kind of ring I can have in while healing.

* I really, really want to visit Disney again.

* I’m a sentimental sap about certain possessions: t-shirts, books, jewelry, even if I don’t wear it or use it, I can’t bring myself to rid of it it’s from a family member.

* I have knitting needles and yarn but no idea what to do with them. I also have a baby blanket which I started cross-stitching that’s about 25 % finished; I started it over three years ago.

* Some days I’d rather read blogs than work.

* I’ve found myself getting annoyed with the rain. Me, the girl who used to call her blog “Walking through the Rain,” is getting frustrated with the weather. This is most unusual.

Anything on your mind today that you wish to confess?

Be sure to check back next week for another book giveaway and updates on my weekend (Harry Connick Jr Concert, Race for the Cure, and a local one-tent circus)!

Why Men Date…

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… Bitches.

I was told a few weeks ago that I needed to purchase this book and read it immediately.**
That I’m a doormat but if I read this book, I can be a dreamgirl if I become a bitch.
And once I’m a dreamgirl , I’ll be able to snag any guy I want. And if I want to marry him? There’s a book for that, too.

I confess, I’m a traditional, nice, ”girl next door,” kind of person. Yes, I care if a guy has a bad day, what kind of food he likes, if he calls and I’m free, I’ll answer. If I’m busy, I’ll call him back. I admit I like to bake, cook, do thoughtful things for the guy I date. Not right away of course- it takes time for me to trust, to let my walls down, for the guy to earn the right, if you will, to see that side of me.  I do not, however, smother the guy in texts, lovey emails, incessant phone calls, random drop-ins. If I don’t like how I’m being treated I’ll speak up; if it can’t be fixed then I’ll move on.

I haven’t read this book; I’m not sure that I ever will. I’m sure part of the book is written in jest and part of the book is written to protect women, to keep us from getting hurt, to get us to play the game. Hate the game, don’t hate the players, I guess. I picked up the book at Barnes & Noble, flipped through the pages, read the back cover. It’s written in a humorous light but the jist: Play the game harder than you’ve ever played it before. Ignore the guy. Reject his advances. Then he’ll want to be with you.

The thing is, I’ve been screwed over, more times than I care to admit so you’d think I’d be a perfect candidate for a book like this. We’re talking cheated on, stabbed in the back, lied to, used, stood up, let down and a handful of other things, all in about five years of dating (a few long-term relationships thrown in there of course.) But you know what? That doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t make me want to play more games when it comes to dating. I am not comfortable with advice that tells me I should be something I’m not: I can’t be a bitch when dating. It’s not my nature. What’s the point of pretending to be something you’re not? The charade will have to end at some point and then what happens? Left at square one all alone? (If you saw The Ugly Truth, you know what I mean. Katharine Heigl played a charade and it didn’t end well.)

I don’t see how telling a lie and acting like a false version of yourself can be good for any sort of meaningful relationship in the long run. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it will take me a long time to meet someone who appreciates me for me, but that’s what I want. The strong, independent, sometimes funny, caring, emotional at times, family-oriented, dog-loving, hippie/preppy woman that I am. The woman who sometimes can care too much but would rather care too much and be herself then pretend her whole life.

I don’t want to be a bitch, a liar. I want to be me. I want to be real. I want the man I spend the rest of my life with to see me for who I am, not some falsified dreamgirl. Maybe that statement right there makes me the doormat, but so be it. I know what I want, I know who I am, and telling me to be a bitch to get a guy? It’s just not happening. I’d rather be me and alone then a trapped in a lie for the rest of my life.  

So, what do you think? Is it necessary to be a bitch to attract a man? What’s the best/worst dating advice you’ve ever received?

** The funny thing is about the gal who recommended the book to me? She’s pining after her ex-boyfriend who treated her better than the guy she’s currently dating. She snagged her current boyfriend after reading Why Men Date Bitches, but she’s not totally enthralled with him.

Top Three DDs: Mexican Food, Black Crow & Popped Collars

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It’s taken me awhile to get this final installment of my Top Three Dating Disasters because I have so many of them, it’s tough to choose just one that’s the absolute worst. As far as I’m concerned I have three that tie for first place. I’ll let you be the judge as to which one is the worst.

Worst Date Ever #1: A dude that I met through work. Intelligent, a go-getter, similar interests. First few dates were uneventful until the fourth. He suggested I choose the restuarant and considering Mexican is my favorite food and usually perfect for a date, I choose one of the best in StL. When I share my choice with the dude, he starts cursing, telling me he won’t take me to that f*ng restaurant because it’s the worst and how dare I ask him to take me to that f*ng place. Under no circumstances will he take me to that restaurant ever. After his very loud, very sudden outburst, we venture to another Mexican restaurant where I have a serious allergic reaction to guacamole (the first time that ever happened to me). A week later he shows up to my office to tell me that he was “kidding” when he cursed at me about my choice of Mexican restaurants. Never heard from him again.

Worst Date Ever #2: This dude was a painter and single father. After a few dates, I attended his work party with him. Evidently this guy decided to tell his friends that I was a rich bitch (how polite of him) and not one single person would speak to me all night. The party was one of those free food and drink deals, so I started throwing back a few beers, watching the baseball game and just relaxing (as much as possible). After the work party, we went to another bar to meet up with a friend of his. Dude decided to ditch and left me sitting with his friend who immediatley began to interrogate me about my intentions, quizzing me about my ability to raise a child, hammering me with questions about my domestic abilities and threatening to make my life miserable if I didn’t treat his friend well. If I had my own car, I would have up and left but sadly I was stuck waiting for dude. When he dropped me off, he had the audacity to ask if he could “get some.” I should mention that when we left for this date, a black crow ran smack dab into the windshield. Next time I’ll pay more attention to the omen.

Worst Date Ever #3: Blind First Date. Innocent dinner at Cheesecake Factory. He sports a popped collar, leans across the table and tells me that he wants to “eat me up.” Takes a bathroom break but not before talking to the waitress and telling her that I’m not allowed to leave. He literally runs back to the table to make sure I’m at the table. Proceeds to drown me in text messages that night, greeting ecards the following days and reminding me that he wants “devour me.”

You be the judge! Which date do you think is the worst and should receive the title of Nora’s Top Dating Disaster?

Top Three DD's: Comedy Club Cherry

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It’s time for the second installment of Nora’s Dating Disasters. Today I give you bad date number two…

Backgrounder: I went to a Big 12 School that was 25,000 students strong in the undergraduate category alone and boasted over 26 fraternities and sororities. I rushed as a freshman, joined, but wasn’t feeling it so before initiation I decided to bow out, save some money but managed to be very good friends with a lot of fabulous ladies. It wasn’t uncommon for me to be approached each fall and spring to donate blood. I’d willing do so to save a life or two, help a friend out, and for the shirt. If you didn’t get a Greek Week Blood Drive shirt you might as well have moved in with the guys from the Big Bang Theory. (Looking back I can’t believe what a big deal we all made about the blood drive shirts. It was just a cotton shirt with a different design on each semester.). Anyway.

Freshman year, spring semester, I’m giving blood with my friend MD to benefit her sorority. She gets put at a stretcher across the huge gym from me and for whatever reason this time I’m around I’m not feeling well. At all. Evidently I looked pretty pale as they took me to the “special” section inside the gym and next thing I know this dude is chatting with me, keeping my mind off the blood situation and I start to feel better. Dude sticks with me through the entire donation process and even to the food station, making sure I’m okay. Turns out he’s a friend of MD’s boyfriend.

I don’t know what it is about me and sinus infections and first dates, but they tend to coincide a lot. I get sick a few days after giving blood as I always did (I don’t give blood anymore because I always got wickedly sick each time) but this guy was an upperclassman and was taking me on a Real.Date. Like dinner at a non-chain restaurant kind of date. Pick me up at the dorm room door kind of date. So I go.

He plans the date: Dinner at some steakhouse and the comedy club that’s in town. No need to worry that I’m a minor, his fraternity “runs” the comedy club and the bouncer will get me in, he says. We’re at dinner and it’s going well until, without asking, he picks up half of my sandwich on my plate and starts eating it. This is after he ate his steak and potatoes, mind you. After taking a huge bite of my sandwich, he asks if I mind. What was I going to do, ask him to spit it out? Then he proceeds to eat the rest of my fries. 

At this point, I’m thankful there will be beer at the Comedy Club.

True to his word, I get in the Comedy Club that his fraternity “runs,” we get seated at the table in the front of the room, and start to enjoy a beer or two. The lights go dim. He starts to play footsie with me under the table, which then turns into his foot on my calf, and then his foot on my thigh. I don’t like feet even if they are in a shoe or sock. Grosses me out. He grabs my hands, asks me if I’ve been to comedy before. I say no at which point he says “I’m so glad I’m the one popping your comedy club cherry,” and he squeezes my  hand. He was dead serious too.

I hung out with him a few more times knowing first dates are supremely awkward, even comedy club cherry awkward, but it didn’t get better.

However, cut to three months later, when I run into this dude on the quad. “So, Nora. I’ve lost about 25 pounds since I last saw you. How do you like me now? Wanna date me now that I’ve lost weight? I know you’re the kind of girl who only dates skinny guys. I just know it. Well, too bad, you can’t have this.” And then he took off running so I couldn’t even tell him he was wrong.

Funny how I never, ever thought he needed to lose 25 pounds, nor did I say anything to him, or anyone who knew him, for that matter, about his “weight.”

And that’s the second worst date I’ve been on for it’s supreme awkardness, the fact that the dude ate my food, using the words “popped” and “cherry” on the first day and accused me of only liking skinny guys.

Top Three DDs*: Cat Food and Sobs

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* DD= Dating Disaster

Today’s post is inspired by Amy; it’s surprisingly comforting to hear of other bad dating experiences. At one time in the past many of these stories were documented on my old blog which has since been deleted. Without further ado, here’s the third most awful date I’ve ever been on…

Back in 2006 after a particularly rough break-up and equally rough healing process, I decided to give online dating a shot. Match.Com, Yahoo Personals and eHarmony, just to name a few. I met this dude through Match.Com, the emails flowed well, the phone conversations went great and thus we decided to meet.

I came down with a terrible sinus infection just days before the first “date,”; we were both excited to meet one another so I agreed to meet-up for a light lunch and ice cream to get the ball rolling. I’m on my way to meet him at the restaurant, feeling like total crap thanks to the sinus situation, when he calls and asks if I would mind meeting him at Wal-Mart first (next to the restaurant) as he had to pick up some things. I’m convinced I had a fever that day as I foolishly agreed to this idea.

I get to the parking lot, and there he is… I think. He looks nothing like his pictures and he’s a good five inches shorter than he claimed to be (which made him shorter than me since he claimed to be 6’1″). Not the best way to start. We get into WalMart when he tells me that he needs “kitty litter and kitty food.” I’m terribly allergic to cats, which he knows and he proceeds to tell me that he’d gladly get rid of the cats if the first date goes well. (Dude, we just met. No need to give up your cats yet.) So we are in the cat food aisle and he hands me a 25 pound bag of kitty litter and asks me to HOLD IT, while he carries around four cans of cat food. In between choosing the cat food he keeps mumbling to himself how pretty I am (appreciate the nicety but it was odd), while staring at his shoes. The dude wouldn’t look me in the eye.

20 minutes later, we are outside WalMart and I’m not feeling well and the whole beginning of the date was just so odd, so I tell him I’m really not feeling well and think we should postpone. Not two minutes after I’m in the car, dude calls me. Three times in a row. (I was on the other line with my mom, letting her know I was alive.) He leaves a message each time, sobbing, telling me how beautiful he thinks I am, that I’m his only hope in life, that he’d be a father if his ex had decided to keep the baby. The phone calls continue every hour. And my email inbox? Flooded with notes from him.

I confess, I didn’t call him back because I had no idea what to say; it was all so bizarre, surreal, awkward, I felt bad for him and I didn’t think that I was remotely interested after the false photos and lying about his height, not to mention the sobbing voice messages.

Two days later… flowers arrive. At my office. From this dude. Within minutes of the flowers arriving, he calls my direct line at my office, crying yet again, demanding to know what went wrong and why I wouldn’t see him again. Not having caller ID on my phone at the time, I answered, politely explained that I thought we were looking for different levels of a relationship and that I wished him the best. It was the last I heard of him. To this day I still have no idea how he figured out where I worked.

So, my friends, that’s the story of the world’s shortest date where yours truly tried to be a trooper, wound up carrying a 25 lb bag of kitty litter, walking next to a dude who mumbled and stared at his shoes who turned out to be a borderline stalker.

Tidbit Tuesday

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* I spent the weekend visiting my brother at school, traipsing around campus, stocking up on college gear, finding new restaurants and cafes that I wish I had existed when I was there, having drinks with my brothers friends (a few whom I used to baby sit!), laughing, talking, sharing, confiding, bonding. My brother is an excellent host: he made me brunch after my long run on Saturday, bought me a few rounds of drinks on Saturday night, and always introduced me by saying “this is my sister, she used to go here.” For some reason that just made me super happy. When it was time to leave on Sunday I held in the tears until I was 30 miles away. I’m fortunate that we’ve grown so close over the last few years but it makes it *that* much harder to leave him each time.  I’m turning into quite the softy in my rip old age of 26.

* Last week was the first “official,” training week for the 10 mile race I’ve got coming up in May. I logged 17 miles for the week in just four runs; I have to say that I’m glad I started increasing my base miles in January and February because the 5 miler (first long run) on Saturday really wasn’t so bad and I really think I could have kept going. The idea of  a fresh made brunch courtesy of my brother was reason enough to stop. I’m thrilled with my running shoes (Ariel from Brooks), love my various running playlists, and the high I get from running makes me feel invincible. I know I have a long way to go but I feel good about it so far.

* School. As I mentioned last week I have only four little classes left to finish my MBA. Two of them start this Friday. They are both (thankfully) online classes so I don’t have to endure four hour classes after a nine hour work day but that does also mean they are a bit more intense. I’m up for the challenge, have the books ready to go and only need to purchase my favorite notebooks because, well, I’m that girl who takes notes even if she’s not going to a lecture. I’m so ready for school to be done and a thing of the past because as much as I like learning, I like my freedom a little bit more.

*  Lately I feel like something is missing, like a piece of me perhaps, which is odd because everything is on the up & up. I’m doing things I want to do. I’m reconnecting with old friends and trying to make new ones. I’m running, reading, baking, socializing, writing. But every other week or so I feel lonely and a little bit lost. I know I don’t need a man to make me whole and yet I miss having a special someone in my life. Someone to rely on. Someone to hug me after a rough day. Someone who will be coming home to me (and I to him) every day, day after day, after day. Someone who is always on Team Nora. Someone to share this amazing journey with. I know I’m young and have plenty of time but that doesn’t change what the heart wants and the soul craves. All I can do is keep on this path I’ve created for myself and hope that someday my path will intersect with someone else who’s ready for the journey of a lifetime.

* I seem to have lost my reading mojo the last few weeks. I’m reading two books that I really enjoy but by the time I have a chance to read them (the whole reading during lunch thing I mentioned a week or two ago hasn’t been happening thanks to a crazy work schedule) I’m usually asleep after a few paragraphs. This weekend is so far relatively low-key so I hope the weather continues to be gorgeous so I can take Jack for a walk, sit outside and read the fabulousness that is “The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rockband… Motley Crue.” I think I just need a few hours to really get involved in a book again and I’ll be back.

 Lastly, I confess I marked “all as read,” in my reader the other day. I tried to read at least one post from each of the blogs I subscribe to so that I’d feel a bit caught up so if I missed anything big, no matter what it is, let me know. Now, fill me in on a few of your tidbits from the last few days!