In almost five months, I’ll be walking down the aisle. While it seems like we’ve been engaged for such a long time, it also seems like our engagement has flown by. I suppose in some ways it has: planning a wedding long distance has been hard!

This past weekend we…

* Went wedding ring shopping. Nothing has been purchased as of right now but we discovered that Knight prefers traditional wedding bands to the fancier ones he/we thought that he’d like. And for me? I’m kind of torn. My engagement is really unique and I’m hesitant to add anything to it so I’m contemplating wearing the band on my right hand. Since my engagement ring is so different, a lot of people have already asked/assumed that I’m married. Guess it could work.

* Finally decided on the suits for the guys. For some reason this was a huge weight off my/our shoulders. I feel so good with our decision and know that it’s going to look awesome in photos.

* I officially officially (yes, I meant to write that twice) ordered our wedding invitations. There has been a lot going on as of late that has had me wedding planning distracted. My goal is to get them out in mid-June for arrival no later than beginning of July.

* Started to plan the shower that Knight’s mom is throwing… well, he and I are planning it. There’s probably a post lurking in here somewhere, but marrying someone who has already been married before? Not always easy, especially when his family kinda treats you as though you don’t matter and/or makes you feel like this wedding is inconsequential since Knight’s already done it. The word elope is still in my vocabulary.

* Onto happier things, the wedding website has been updated and apparently a lot of our out of town guests have booked their rooms for the hotel already! I also added some things to our wedding registries since there has been some talk that I don’t have enough on them. Truth: we don’t need that much stuff since we merged our household last year.

* I went through the day prior and the day of the wedding with my mom, mapping it out by time and who needs to do what/where/when. Next up will be the itineraries.

Things I’m looking forward to: food tasting in June, my bridal hair trial (not until September but I’m still excited!), my first dress fitting sometime in June and deciding/ordering our wedding rings, the bridesmaid sleepover we’ll be having at my parents’ house a la the Sex and the City movie, saying our vows in front of friends and family.

What’s not been fun: fielding the same questions over and over and over and over even though people have our wedding website address and even though we have posted the information on said website. I appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm but I’m tired of sounding like a broken record! Also, the family stress (see point above).

What’s been fun: We got our first wedding present last week. One of my cousin’s sent us our gift super early which is totally fantastic. Focusing a bit more on the DIY part of the wedding; I’m still missing some of what I need for the centerpieces so I’m working on finding/tracking it down. I started planning the bridesmaid gifts, too. I’m really excited about the ideas I have! Oh, and ordering my wedding shoes. And of course, day dreaming about the honeymoon.

Time for your input! We have an idea for the favors at our wedding and for the gift bags we give to out-of-town guests at the hotel, but I’d like to know what your favorite wedding favor/thing in a gift bag is that you’ve received at a wedding? Anything that you loathe as favors at weddings?

In the last two months, we’ve gotten a lot accomplished for our wedding…

* DJ! One of my dad’s bandmates (yup, my dad is in a band) is a professional DJ so this was kind of a no-brainer. I’m working with him on the idea of music bingo, which guests will have a chance to play during the hors d’ouevres and cocktails part of the reception since we’ll be running around taking photos for a little bit. I’m really excited to have him at our wedding and know he’ll do a great job. {photo credit}

* Photographer. Last time I did a wedding update I didn’t have one. Now we do! He’s an amazing photographer and really fits in well with the spirit of our day. His work is phenomenal and when I met with him it was kind of like we had been friends for years. I kind of love the fact that he’s married to an Italian woman so he knows how loud and crazy we can get at weddings, he loves craft beer so I know he’ll get along with Knight and I’m really excited to see how he will capture the day. Plus, he’s really excited for our idea that we have for our after party and is going to be tagging along for a bit to that as well. We will have him for about eight hours that day so I figured it’s kind of important that we all mesh well. We already have a schedule of when he’ll be where, who he is taking pictures of and when so that we can easily create itineraries for our family for the day of the wedding.

* Wedding Dress. As I mentioned earlier this year, I found my dress. I’m in love with it. Can’t wait to wear it. And, may even decide to wear it after the wedding, you know, around the house (ok, probably not but it’s just so pretty!).

* Bridesmaid Dresses. The color (persimmon), the styles (various, all in chiffon fabric), and designer (Bill Levkoff) have all been chosen. The girls have been emailed and they are marinating on which style they like (I decided to go with same color + fabric but want the girls to pick which style they like the most!) and I’ll be following up with them in mid-February so that they can call in their measurements and etc. so we can get them ordered by end of March.

* Desserts. This is an important one. We had some really awesome desserts at our engagement party from a local bakery that we fell in love with. So when it came time to discuss the dessert, this was a no-brainer. We are going with a dessert bar that will feature four kinds of desserts and two kinds of candy, and likely some decanters of milk, too! The focus of the dessert bar will be Glitter Bites, a total of 17 dozen I think, in our wedding colors, and will be tiered/pyramid on various trays. The other desserts we picked are: cheesecake lollies (decadent cheesecake covered in amazing dark chocolate); butter cookies (which will be covered in buttercream icing and then feature our monogram on them) and gooey butter mini cakes, as they are an STL Tradition. And don’t forget the two kinds of candy as well. For the cake cutting, we plan on just feeding one another a glitter bite rather than doing a formal cake cutting.  

* Ceremony. It’s early, I know, but we have started looking at readings, wording, vows and etc. so that we can start to craft our ceremony with Knight’s sister, who is our officiant. It’s kind of fun to be creating our own ceremony, even if it’s a tad daunting and challenging.

* Decor. This is ambitious of us, but we/I are doing the centerpieces ourselves. I’ve started collecting what I need and am excited for it to all come together the month before the wedding. Knight is also contributing a few things to the decor and I’m very excited to see how they turn out.  Think Tuscan Chic!

* Invites. I’ve started the conversation with Ashely of our Little Leaf Designs. If you recall she did our save the dates which everyone raved about so it’s kind of a no brainer to use her again. I’m so excited to see how they turn out. We have some fun ideas for the RSVP cards and she’s so great to work with, so I know it will be another positive experiencing resulting in some kick-ass invitations.

* Suits for the men. We found Knight’s suit and I’m so excited to see him in it! We decided on a dark brown (trust me, it looks ah-mazing on him) since our colors are ivory, dark brown, persimmon, and then for splashes of color we have picked a tropical blue and maroon (those will be in the origami bouquets that I, ahem, need to start making).  Our goal is to have the groosmen have the same color pants/jacket with an ivory/cream shirt and a tie that has the colors of our wedding in it; they will be free to pick their own tie as I think it’s more fun when they have some of their own style and flare with us at the wedding.

* Songs. Again, I know it’s early, but last time I was in STL I started poking around on the internet for non-traditional Father/Daughter songs and I found one that made both my mom and me tear up. That meant we had a winner. My dad listened to it and loved it too, so we have our song picked out. It’s by Paul Simon, which means something to us as well because when I was little we listened to a lot of Paul Simon on road trips and around the house. Knight and I have already picked out our first dance song as well, as well as the songs for walking down the aisle and recessing down the aisle. I’m pretty excited about all of them.

And honestly, we have done a lot more than this as well, but I’ll save that for another update, perhaps next week!

As we compile our list for the DJ in terms of songs (to play and not to play) and suggestions for things you love or loathe hearing at a wedding?

In about eight months, I’m walking down the aisle.

Apparently my brain is all too aware of this because in the last seven nights? I have had three wedding anxiety dreams. That seems like a lot to me, especially since we have everything largely under control as it pertains to the actual planning of the day.

Last night’s dream (or maybe it was this morning, I’m not sure which) involved me having my months wrong, as in, I thought it was April but it was really October and then next thing I knew people were coming to visit for the wedding, I didn’t have my dress, my hair wasn’t done, and horror of all horrors, I didn’t have the itineraries for my friends and family ready for what to expect/where to be and etc. the day of the wedding. On top of that, the wedding wasn’t where it was supposed to be, none of my good friends were there (it was all high school people) and I couldn’t find Knight to save my life. I really don’t like these wedding anxiety dreams, not one bit!

The other dreams have all centered around either my wedding dress: I can’t leave the store with it, no matter how many times I try (and wind up walking out naked) or suddenly my wedding dress is made of what seems like 200 pounds of fabric that I didn’t ask for or order and my train is knots of flowers. I know- I have bizarre dreams.

While I’m talking about wedding anxiety dreams, I’ll also go ahead and share a few of my confessions as it relates to wedding planning/my wedding:

* I am totally terrified that Knight will pull a Mr. Big and not show up to the wedding. I *know* this won’t happen but for some reason, that’s my biggest fear. I did tell Knight that the other night and he just laughed, pulled me into a big hug and said no matter what happens, he will be there. And I know this.

* I don’t totally understand the need for bachelor/bachelorette parties that last entire weekends. When I was younger and could party and stay up late, it made sense. But now that I’m not so young and can’t party as well and tend to fall asleep around 10:30 after a few glasses of wine, I can’t really fathom the bachelorette party weekend.

* Some days I love wedding planning. Other days I loathe it. Perhaps it’s because I have to do a lot of it from far away, or perhaps I’m just simply not really bride material, but some days I really, really, really want to elope.

* I don’t do well with attention focused on  me and this was a big reason why we are keeping the guest list as small as possible. If I had to walk down the aisle past 200+ people who were all looking at me? I don’t think I could do it. I would pull a Julia Roberts/Runaway Bride, not because I don’t love and want to be with Knight, but because that kind of attention makes me so uncomfortable. This is also the reason I’m nervous for the bridal showers.

* I really want everyone to have a good time at our wedding. Not just say they had a good time, but really truly have a good time. Because of this we are working on adding some fun things to the reception (music bingo, anyone?) and are planning an after party as well for those who came far and wide to celebrate with us.

* Considering I have the dress, the man, the bridal party, and our parents, the food, drink and dessert already figured out, I’m ready to do the whole wedding thing tomorrow!

So, there you have my current wedding anxiety dreams and confessions! Tomorrow I’ll be back with an actual planning update (promise!)

Tell me, do you have anxiety dreams? Any fixes/cures to make them go away? Any confessions related to weddings you’d like to share?

If you read my Wine & Love post last week you probably noticed I alluded to changing our wedding plans all around. It’s true, we did. We had a venue that we loved and the owners were amazing as they worked with us through every single question, menu planning and etc. that we had. The contract was sent to us, we ironed everything out and were *thisclose* to signing. Right before we did and the deposit was put down by my very amazing and kind father, Knight and I looked at each other and said “this isn’t what we really want.” We thanked the venue we had been working with because they really are fabulous and have an amazing place for ceremonies, receptions, parties and etc. Somehow in the process of planning we lost sight of what Knight and I really wanted.

We agreed to table the actual wedding planning until after the move and I/we got settled into our new lives, routine, rituals and etc. And so we did. (photo credit)

The word eloping was on the tip of our tongues over and over again for the last six weeks. A planned yet spontaneous elopement in fact. We’d have the suit + my dress and then when the time felt right, off we’d go.

Then two weeks ago, we looked at each other again and said “but what about our friends and family?” As much as we want the day to be just the two of us, we still need our family and friends, our bridesmaids and groomsmen to stand by us during our special day. So back to the drawing boards we went. We wrote down what we really want:

* An intimate ceremony in either a quaint non-denominational chapel or at an outdoor park/gazebo with our guys and gals standing up there with us, our family in the pews, as well as other close family and friends. We are envisioning no more than 50 people if at all possible.

 * Ideally our location will incorporate fall: the trees, the leaves, the lovely breeze that flows through the STL around the time of our wedding, an element that is important to us given when we met.

* And lastly, a big open house reception with oodles and oodles of white lights, hors d’oeuvres and cocktails, likely at my parents house. Floating candles on the pool if it’s still open, white Japanese lanterns, twinkle lights and more will add the ambience and class that we are looking for. We’ll have towering plates of the Glitter Balls we had at our engagement party. We’ll do the traditional first dance, have amazing music, and themed stations in each room for the hors food and drinks. This option allows us to not be restricted by a certain number of seats at the reception location and we can truly invite everyone we’d like, whether they can come or not, without worrying about going over numbers.

* FUN. Nothing but fun. We have both been to open house receptions which take away the stress of seating charts, allow more time for friends and family to get to know one another, more time for us to mingle, more of a relaxed enviroment while still being elegant.

We have two locations in mind for the ceremony, we know our wedding colors, we’ve asked our guys and gals to be in our wedding and know, more or less, what kind of food and beverages we are going to serve at the reception. The save the dates are underway thanks to Ashley (she’ll also be doing our invites), we’ve started our wedding website and I know what dress I want (I just have to order it). We’re having fun planning and talking, thinking about the faraway day in October of next year and enjoying seeing our wedding take shape.