Category Archives: Knight

Post-Move: Eight Weeks

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“It’s only been eight weeks!”

“It’s already been eight weeks!”

Interesting how time is relative to certain situations. Those are two phrases I’ve found myself saying since my move. EIGHT WEEKS. That’s all it’s been since I officially converged lives with Knight by packing up 80% of my stuff (some of my furniture I refuse to part with won’t fit in our little cottage-style home so my parents are using it/storing it until we buy a bigger home in the future) and traveling six plus hours north. {Photo Credit}

Somedays it seems like I’ve been there so much longer (in a good way) and other days it seems like hardly anytime at all. Maybe it’s because it’s been nothing short of a whirlwind, full of travel and running around and road trips. Maybe it’s been because we have been busy making the house our home, getting me adjusted to a new way of life (which I now love). Maybe it’s because we have actually had time together, not just weekends, but actual evenings, double-dates, walks along the lake. Whatever it is, it finally feels like home.

Here’s a short list of things I’ve learned in the last eight weeks:

* Men will eat almost anything. Even if they aren’t sure if they like it (or don’t like it). This also means you should be prepared for food to disappear from the fridge, especially if you wanted to eat it.

* Knight doesn’t leave his dirty socks on the floor. Instead, he will leave his clean clothes in the neatly folded pile for a few days before it gets put away.

* I’m evidently a really light sleeper. Knight gets up reaalllyy early a few days a week for work and without fail I wake up with him.every.single.day. It’s done very interesting things to my sleep habits and patterns but I’m trying to get used to it.

* Don’t walk around the house barefoot when little kids are around. You will inevitably step on some tiny toy made of sharp, painful plastic and then spend the next five minutes hopping around the house until the pain goes away.

* Kids wake up early. Really, really early. They could go to bed two hours later than their normal bedtime and still wake up early. Not only am I a light sleeper, I’m also not a morning person. It’s been an adjustment. Thank goodness for cute voices and morning hugs otherwise I’m not sure I’d make it.

* I am now a person who says “I’m going into town,” and “I’m going to shop at The Pig,” (that’s a Piggly Wiggly for those of you who are wondering). Every once in awhile I catch myself saying one of those phrases, chuckle and then smile at just how much my life has changed in the last few months.

* Knight and I both own a lot of clothes. Closet space is a premium and we have big closets. I may or may not have a box or two (or four…) in Belle’s closet. There is also a permanent shortage of hangers in our house somehow.

* It’s evidently acceptable to wear a swimsuit top, short shorts and cowgirl boots inside Target.

* I wouldn’t have gotten through this move or adjustment without Target, Jimmy John’s and wine.

* Always budget extra money for  moving, no matter what.

* You may not be homesick after awhile, but peoplesick? That’s a whole different ballgame. I’m still peoplesick even though I love my home, the area I live in and am glad for the move.

* I’m tired of traveling. I know I’m blessed to be able to travel for work, to see friends and family but I have had only five weekends in my new home. It’s exhausting my mind, my body and our wallets so for the rest of the year, Knight and I are kind of reining in our travel; apart from one four-day weekend we booked eons ago, we are going nowhere until Christmas unless it’s for business. After traveling non-stop to see each other for nine plus months, I/we need a break. I’m looking forward to more home improvement projects, getting to know more of my area, finally attending some of the meet-up.com events that I’ve been hoping to get to and so much more!

* Adventures are far more fun once you are actually IN it rather than just preparing for it. They are also a lot less scary.

What have you learned from a big life change, move or adventure?

(Also, super random side note & shoutout: it’s VEDA- Vlog Everyday in August. If you want to watch my videos, check out my YouTube Channel. I’m attempting double duty this month with both blogging and vlogging, so we shall see how it goes! Bring on the challenge!)

Blogspiration and Normalcy

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Knight’s sister sent us this link as food for thought and a suggestion to make sure we incorporate these ideas into our upcoming marriage. I read the post nodding my head to every.single.one. (and had to laugh at the one about a free weekend… I’m queen of saying YES far too often) of what Kim and Jason put forth. I’m kind of in love with their blog now and like any good blog post, it got me thinking.  (Edited to add: I don’t necessarily believe in the word normal as it applies to lifestyle and choices; as some of my commenters have pointed out they don’t use the word normal because their lives have been different from everyone around them. I agree. I’m the same way. I don’t have lives at all like those of most of my friends and I’m more than ok with that. I’m also not trying to imply that we should or should not be “normal” or measure ourselves to some invisbile standard. Instead, I’m merely exploring what is different about my life, my life with Knight and what we need and hope to do soon to continue to improve things for ourselves both as individuals and as a couple.)

I’m inclined to say nothing about me and Knight is” normal”, especially by romantic comedy or fairy tale standards: not the way we met, to the way we “dated,”  to how quickly things moved along for us, how we managed to make it all work despite the distance and other hurdles we had (and still have to an extent) in front of us.  Not all of the “normal” list applies to us thankfully (debt, childcare, etc.). However, at the same time we are both working at jobs that we like, but maybe aren’t as challenging as they could be or jobs that we absolutely love. Sometimes we are far too busy for our own good with commitments with friends, family, sometimes even each other. Sometimes the TV is on even if we aren’t really watching it. Sometimes we do feel “normal,” (and I don’t mean is in routine per se, sometimes as Kim and Jason suggest, getting back to the everyday ins/outs is kind of nice). And while we didn’t get bad news about our health or lives recently, after our recent trip to LA, well, there have been a lot of wheels churning in our respective heads.

In the last two weeks, Knight and I have had some of those big life discussions. You know the ones “Where do we see ourselves in five years?” “How long do we want to stay in this house? This town? This State?” “What’s next for each of us in terms of our career?” “How can we make our lives better?” We both know we don’t want to settle for what we perceive to be mediocre. We want to continue to reach and grow, strengthen and improve, explore and live.

Some of the answers are simple since we obviously see ourselves together in five years no matter where we are and what we are doing. But the rest of the stuff? A lot harder to answer. Some of the questions are tougher since we have two little girls to consider in all of our choices; not a burden by any means but definitely adds a level of (good, challenging) complexity. Some are tougher still as we have financial aspects to take into consideration so that we *aren’t* up to our eyeballs in debt or saddled with a  house that can’t sell in today’s market.

What we do know, though is this: in order to improve our quality of life, strengthen our relationship, and do right by us and the kidlets, we are going to have to make a significant location change. And probably sooner rather than later.

We do know that Knight, and maybe even myself, are going to have to make job changes.

We do know that our everyday life may not be covergirl pretty or the way others would live their lives and run their relationships all the time, but it’s what we want and what we know we need.

There are big changes on our horizon. We aren’t totally sure of the how, when, and where’s of them all, but we are working it through. Together. Step-by-step. Day-by-day (bonus points if you know what TV show theme song that’s from…). And we have promised each other that we will continue to live our lives for ourselves and our relationship respectively. Whether people think that’s “normal,” or not, we don’t really care.

What about you? What are your thoughts on normalcy? Love/hate the word or the idea?

On Being Engaged

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Within 24 hours of being engaged everyone was asking when the date was (October 6th, 2012). Where the wedding will be (St. Louis). Who will be in the wedding (we’ve asked our friends informally but have things we *still* need to send them.) What kind of dress I want. What the colors will be. And you know what? I didn’t have an answer. I wanted to bask in the joy that is being engaged.

In fact, I still do.

We have made some big decisions as it relates to our wedding and the rest of it will come in time, likely after the bell strikes midnight on New Year’s eve later this year. I’m not stressed, worried, concerned about any of the wedding planning process at all. Instead I’m focusing on the things I love about being engaged. Like engagement photos (yes, I’ve peppered some throughout this post).

 

Or how people “ooooh” and “aahhh” over my ring. Or buying thank you cards that represent us as a couple to send to those kind of enough to send us engagement presents. (Clearly I take the picking of cards very seriously, but I don’t like boring old cards, you know?) I love looking through bridal magazines, making lists and ideas. I love that my family is just so excited for us and that my mom gets teary-eyed almost every single time we talk wedding stuff.  

I love that Knight and I have this extra time to get to know each other even more, to make plans, to dream big, to fall even more in love (I know, total schmoop but it’s true). I love thinking non-traditionally about our wedding, as in the event, and how we can make it  100% us (more on that in the future). I love planning save-the-date cards with our amazing designer. And most of all, I love that everyone once in awhile Knight looks at me, smiles and when I ask him what’s on his mind he says “Just thinking about you being my wife, that’s all.” My heart melts every time.

Part of the reason we chose a date in 2012 is so that we could enjoy this time of being engaged (and ok, also not stress too much with the move, the possible selling of the house at some point in the next 18 months, adjusting to being a family and all that jazz). And you know what? It’s so worth it.

All photos & editing provided by David Kovaluk, our fabulously fun engagement photographer. We have over 350 pictures, all of them amazing. I’ll share more in the near future but the ones above are my favorites (well, at least for today).

Honest

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It’s been just over a week since I moved.
I could tell you it’s been all fairytales and unicorns, rainbows and smiles. Which, for the most part would be true.
But at the same time it’s been hard.
Like cry-your-eyes-out-want-a-hug-from-your-mom-hard.

The move itself was great. Knight and I were busy for three days and four nights moving furniture, reorganizing cupboards and closets, re-arranging the living room with our new furniture to our liking, making Target lists and grocery shopping lists (again and again and again). We weren’t (and haven’t been) together every single second of every single day (which is good cause I’m still pretty darn independent) taking time out for errands on our own or exercise time or just being in separate rooms.

The transition from office life to remote working has been good. I still talk to my coworkers every day via phone and email, I’m in touch with customers, I’m getting my job done and am for the most part, much more productive than I am in the office. Apart from a few of my colleagues saying the office is less bubbly without me there, I’m pleased with how it’s going. In fact I kind of love it.

The adjustment to living in a town of 850 people? That’s been the hard part. I lived in a city of one million plus people for over 17 years. I’ve never been a “country” girl. Appreciate it? Yes. Been one to live there? Not so much.

There’s a lovely lake town of 7,500 people about 10 minutes away from me where there is (thankfully) a Target, fun grocery store, Starbucks, Jimmy Johns, boutique shopping, a library nestled in front of  the lake and gorgeous walkways and trails. There is no good Mexican food (or Italian food for that matter). There is no Barnes & Noble or equally awesome book store. I went from living in the suburbs of a metropolitan city where I had numerous restaurant, entertainment and grocery shopping options within minutes to realizing that for a trip to Trader Joe’s it’s going to be about an hour one-way. Ditto that for Barnes & Noble and Chipotle which were two of my weekly staples at home. Add to that that my darn cell phone service has been complete crap since I moved here due to a “known service issue in the area,” with no expected resolution update. (Editor’s note: I now have cell phone service. And an iPhone. And I love it.)  And the whole not knowing anyone who lives close by (my definition of close is 20 minutes) thing. Not to mention having the girls for five nights of my first eight here, with a side of crazy ex-wife. What do you get? A Nora who felt incredibly alone and isolated last week.  A Nora who cried anytime her parents sent her an email sending her their love. A Nora who felt incredibly frustrated and pent-up despite her excursions into the city and walks with Jack and pouding miles out on the treadmill. A Nora who wasn’t sure if moving was the best idea in the world, despite loving being with and near Knight much more than before.

After talking to Knight about all of this, because bless his soul he does his best to understand where I’m coming from, I did what I do best. I resolved. Resolved to learn where the heck I am (which I’ve done): back roads, side roads, way around town, where the hair salon is, where the good sales are, where the nearest Barnes & Noble is (still a good 45 minute drive, if not more). Resolved to appreciate (a work in progress, but I love it more than before): I am learning to appreciate the serentity of our home, the quiet, the gorgeous trees, the small neighborhood feel (everyone is nice and waves here). Resolved to get out of the house at least twice during the work week, even if just to the lake after work for a walk along the trails, a quick drink at Starbucks, or to sit on a park bench and read or write in my journal. Resolved to make friends: I joined a meetup.com book club in the area; Knight and I both joined a 20/30s couple group that’ s kind of in the area (meaning it’s still about an hour away but we can afford the  time for a once a month meetup). We are reaching out to our friends in the area, his coworkers, and anyone else we can think of to expand our social circles. (Side note: We both have best friends who live anywhere but here, so we are no strangers to having to make new friends, find new friends and etc.)  Resolved to have dates: Knight and I are committed to have two dates per week, one at home and one out. This means we have located and found a babysitter that we’ll be utilizing when we have the girls as need be which I think will be much needed on occasion.

This past weekend I ventured out, learned the area, became a citizen (aka I have a library card now), trekked around on my own, and started to fall in love with the area more than before. The result? This week I’m in a much better place. Smiling. Loving it, all of it.

My adjusting is far from over and I’m sure there will be more adjustments to come (like getting used to being a Bonus Mom 50% of the time), and sucking it up and making the hour trek for some of my favorite stores because right now they are still my source of comfort. But the wheels are in motion to make this little slice of America a place that I can and will call home. I’m looking forward to the journey ahead.

Lessons Learned… on Moving

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Last Saturday was The Big Move. Here are my lessons learned, in no particular order…

* Saying bye to my folks was incredibly hard, even though I know I’ll see them in four weeks, even though I email with them every day, even though they are always there for me. Yes, I’ll be going home but it’s not the same kind of going home it used to be, if that makes sense.

* It still rains on my moving days. This trend started in college and hasn’t stopped. No matter when, no matter where, it always rains, like hard, driving, cold, windy rain. I don’t know why I expect anything different.

* Moving in pieces was a good idea but still when I got here the mass amount of stuff I have and that Knight has (not to mention the general household stuff, kid stuff and etc.) was supremely overwhelming. This means it’s perfectly normal to have a sobbing breakdown over how there is no room for you in this house if your clothes won’t fit in the closet and how you want to go home. This also means that your fiancé will give you a big hug and work with you to clear out half the closet for you.

* The collapsible cubes that you can get at Target are life savers, particularly in closets with limited shelving. Gives you double the room instantly. (No, Target and the cube folks didn’t ask me to write about this. I just love these cubes. I think we have upwards of eight of them in the house now, in a variety of colors.)

* Project Spread. It happens. We went from fixing up the bedroom to our liking to rearranging the girls rooms so they actually have play areas, to emptying out the garage. Good thing tomorrow is trash day.

* Free furniture. There is nothing like it. Sure it’s gently used but a free couch, end tables and coffee tables? Yes, please. We have completely transformed the living room to something that we both love. The only purchase we made were two club chairs (again, from Target because apparently four trips to Target in one weekend wasn’t enough).

* Appliances will break when you need them, like the vacuum. It will overheat, stink like crazy and have you looking at the Memorial Day sale ads to find something new and suitable. A dog + laminate flooring = must have. (Not to mention kid crumbs, adult crumbs and etc.)

* Do not expect to get sleep or relax your first weekend in your new home even if you really want to. It’s just not possible. You’ll be up late, until all hours of the night just so you can clear off your bed for those sweet zzzz’s.

* Do treat yourself to good food, even if it means a trip to the grocery store and time over the stove. You’ve both earned it. Also: meal plan. Post the meal plan. Let them know what to expect. Saves a lot of time, hassle and “what should we have” questions each night after work.

* Get curtains. The sun comes up much earlier here than at home (seriously) and it will have you bright-eyed and bushytailed at 6 am the first two mornings unless you have curtains that help block the sun. You like your sleep, you need your sleep, so protect it and make it happen.

* Laugh. Listen to loud music. Enjoy and savor the fact that you don’t have to leave to go back to your other home in a few days. Remember that the chaos and boxes and adjustments are all temporary. Allow yourself to be homesick. Make promises to each other about the future. Snuggle up on the new couch, taking in all the good work you’ve done, relax, hold hands, and sip wine. Oh, and look at your engagement photos together (will share some soon, I promise).

Breaking it Down

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In the next eight days, I will:

* Have moved out of my parents house. Not just across town like I did after college, but to an entirely new State. An entirely new home. One that is not yet mine though I have hopes it will, in time, feel like our home.

* Join the remote workforce 100% of the time. Well, except for conferences and the every eight weeks I’ll be back in the office, but still a big change from now where I see people every day. Don’t worry, I’ll go to Starbucks and Caribou Coffee, maybe even with Knight to his office here and there.

* Officially be a Bonus Mom 50% of the time. Probably will be a post or series of posts to come on this in the future.

This means that since this past Monday when I emptied out an entire closet and sent it home with Knight (I highly recommend moving in pieces if at all possible) my brain has been a lot like this: AHHH! OMG!!! I’m moving. Must buy bluetooth phone. Don’t forget to pack X,Y,Z. Why did I send my good movies with Knight? I only have seven more nights of sleeping in my bed. Meal planning, I’ll have to be good at that soon. 6 am wake-ups due to kids? Yikes, not sure that I’ll be very good at that. Wedding. We need to get our wedding planning a bit more situated. Do I have time to have dinner with this friend or that friend before I leave? Engagement photos! This weekend!  This is a little scary. Ok, now I’m excited, no more long distance! What if remote working is awful? At least I can run during  my lunch hour now. Ahhh. OMG. {photo credit}

It also means that I have had total breakdown moments, complete with *the* ugly cry while hugging my mom telling her that I’m going to miss her so much, that it will be so weird to really move out of the house (I’ve lived on my own countless times, but before it was always an option to return home), not sleep in my bed anymore. That as excited as I am for everything, I’m a little scared and sad at the same time. I’m a fully-fledged adult, going off to share her life with her love. That’s a little intense.  Her response? “Sometimes I’ll probably call you and just cry.” At least we are on the same page with that, eh?

There have been other days where I feel totally numb, kind of ignoring the big change that’s coming, not packing a single thing (though there isn’t much left since Knight is taking another huge truckload this weekend. Bonus: I only have to fill the boxes and help load them. He’s a doll and unloads them/unpacks them when he gets home), curling up with a good book or spending far too much time outside of the house at dinners or seeing ridiculously hilarious movies like Bridesmaids.

I have moments of doubting my ability to be a Bonus Mom 50% of the time, or worry if I’ll be good at cooking dinners on a regular basis and keeping a clean house, freak out a little bit about adjusting to life in a new state, in a new house that has some remnants of Knight’s past (all the obvious, physical ones are gone, of course…), wondering if I’ll make a good live-in fiancée and eventually wife, how Jack will handle the move.

Wedding planning has been rather abandoned and up in the air at the moment: we haven’t asked everyone to be in our wedding, there is talk of changing the entire vision for our special day, the guest list for our engagement party in July is far from finished, and I have a huge stack of bridal magazines I’m dying to look through but can’t possibly handle another distraction at this point. The only thing we are doing as it will be insanely fun is taking our engagement photos tomorrow.

And still despite the feelings of freakoutness and overwhelming emotion of every sort, I bound out of bed in the morning (well, ok, not bound, cause I’m so not a morning person) ticking off another day in my head because it means that I no longer have to talk to Knight only on the phone or via text. When something comes up with the girls, ex-wife, work or whatever, we can handle it face-to-face. We can have actual week night dates, go for walks with Jack after dinner. We won’t spend $400 in gas each month traveling to see each other. We can finally start to be a normal couple, go on double dates and shop at the grocery store, make lists and  have silly fights over dishes in the sink or socks on the floor.

I know that for our planning and talking this move is still going to be a fabulous, crazy, amazing, intense shock. I know that it’s going to be hard. But I also know it’s going to be great, it’s just what we need and it’s the next, very exciting, very amazing step in my life.

So, if you need me, I’ll be busy attempting to wrap my head around everything that’s coming up in the next week since The Big Moving Day is exactly one week from tomorrow.

(And as always, thank you all so much for the support, encouragement, love and just amazing positivity over the last few months while all of this has unfolded! Much appreciated, more than you could know.)

 

Operation: Moving Nora

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The big move up North (in with Knight for those of you who may have missed that), the start of another adventure takes place in 23 days. 23 days.

I’ve been getting a lot of the same questions lately:

“Are you excited?” Yes, beyond excited. So glad for the days of long-distance to be behind me, to fall asleep and wake up next to Knight everyday, to explore and grow our relationship, explore a new city, expand my bonus mom role, reclaim my cooking/baking/house-keeping abilities and trying my hand at being a remote worker, start our own traditions and family time, meeting new people and hanging out with all the awesome ladies that won’t live far from me (coffee dates! Glee nights! Zoo trips!)

“Are you nervous?” Yes, I’m nervous too. It’s a big change; but a change we want, a change Knight and I need and are ready for. It will be different to be more than two hours driving distance from my family and STL friends. I’m nervous for all the reasons I’m excited, which I am glad for (I’d be concerned if I wasn’t nervous at all). It will be different to perform some of my “secret single behavior” with Knight around, like how I sometimes eat cheese while standing like a flamingo in the kitchen, or that sometimes I don’t do laundry for two weeks at a time and think nothing of it. Moments of thinking like that remind me of the Sex and the City (I can always find a parallell between my life and that show…) episode where Miranda freaks out about moving in with Steve:

“I do love you, but I’ve never lived with anybody before, and I’m stubborn, and I like the remote, and I can’t cook, and I don’t do laundry sometimes for like two weeks, and my sponges smell, and you’re gonna see all that, and I’m scared….”
I’m not scared to live with Knight but old habits die hard. You see, I’ve never had anyone love me unconditionally before, so there’s a part of me that has to get over the fear that he’ll bolt just because I don’t wash my hair everyday (it dries out too easily) or that I like cereal for dinner occasionally. In that vain, Knight and I have done a lot of talking and planning for this move involving household chores/roles/duties/budgeting. We’ve shared some of our little quirks with each other, all of his I find totally adorable in fact and his response to mine:  ”I love you for you, all of you.” (Many bonus points for that response, Knight.) Am I afraid he’ll hate something I do or say? No, not at all. I suppose I’m just acknowledging the vulnerability of being fully in love and fully letting someone in.
Oh, and of course, we have been making room for my stuff so that we don’t have a situation similiar to this take place (only Jack will be eating some random toy that belongs to the girls and Knight will get fed up with the various facial care products I have): The Good Fight

Knight continues to be fantastic as he hasn’t so much as raised an eyebrow at all the shoes, books, movies, clothes, dresses and other randomness that I come with as it  has started to make its way into boxes and into his house. He probably deserves a medal for that.

I know there will be adjustments to be made as we navigate the waters of cohabitation, all of which will make us stronger and better for it, I’m sure. I know there will be laughter and arguments, joy and occasional moments of missing home and family (thank goodness for unlimited texting & cell phone minutes), but above all I know that I’m ready to take this next step, to further immerse myself into my/our new life.

Now, if only those boxes would pack themselves…

Kinda Like Dorothy

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A text message you never want to receive from your fiancé: “Do you know what it’s like to feel turbulence in your plane on the ground?”

My response, which I quickly wrote among the crying children, pankcing teenagers, tears streaming down my face, while standing in shards of glass and bits of debris (insulation? picture frames? I still don’t really know) ”Get off the F@*&ing plane.”

Knight sent that to me right after the tornado swept through/in/on the airport on Friday night. He was “safely” on the ground, sitting in his plane that wasn’t allowed to continue the extra 20 feet to the deboarding area. I was waiting patiently inside the airport, reading my newest book, ignoring the flickering lights until the wind literally was sucked out of the building. The lights popped, the plastic bins started flying around, people started screaming, everyone ran towards the bathroom (although I have to say running in a pitch black airport with windows falling? Not so fun. I ran straight into an ATM machine since I was super disoriented.) Glass was falling from above, pictures were whipped off the walls, American flags went flying all over the place. Insulation, or bits of it, I guess, covered our clothes, hair, nestled itself into our eyes. To get a better idea of what it was like: think of any disaster movie where it’s mass chaos, screaming, crying, shouting, confusion and obviously dangerous weather. That’s what it seemed like during those 30-ish seconds.

Women, children and the elderly all went into the bathroom first and the rest of us huddled against the wall, waiting for instructions on what to do next. Apart from a security guard who came out of nowhere asking if anyone was hurt (there were several injuries), no one gave us any indication on what to expect next. No clue as to what would happen to the planes on the tarmac. We all milled around Concourse C, waiting to see our loved ones, friends, family members walk through but to no avail.

Knight’s phone died at some point and for three long hours during which I heard a variety of accounts of what we had just encountered (“strong gusts of wind,” “not a tornado, certainly couldn’t have been”), I wandered around the baggage claim area where we were all herded like cattle. With only the generators on in the airport it was incredibly warm; there was no food or drink to be found or bought, and the police men and women, pilots and anyone official looking didn’t offer any insight or assistance. We were all quarantined to the airport for a good 90 minutes, (not that I would have left without Knight) while the damage was assessed: A shuttle bus was on top of/dangling over the side of the parking garage; those who parked on the top of the garage were left with unfortunate messes of cars with blown windows, debris, and all sorts of dents and bangs; many injuries both inside and outside but fortunately no fatalities.

We heard news of what was going on in the outside world: My mom phoned to let me know most of the highways nearby were shut down, power was out in the area and that news of the tornado didn’t make it onto the local news stations until 30 minutes after I called her to let her know I was ok.

People banded together to gather news of those sitting on the planes on the tarmac. We made small talk, shared the latest information we had heard from our loved ones, stayed close, offered each other what few pain killers or water we had with us, and I’d say above all, provided each other with some comfort during a very unusual time.

The entire tornado seemted to have lasted less than 20 seconds, if that. By the time we ran to the bathroom it was over. But in that time  I was reminded of just how much I love Knight (I literally wanted to run to the tarmac and get him off the plane myself and couldn’t relax until he was safely in my arms), how amazing the human spirit can be when we want to be. I mean, perfect strangers became good friends for my three hours there and it wasn’t weird: there were no pretenses, judgements, awkwardness, being uncomfortable. We wished each other well, Happy Easters, safe returns, thanks for the conversation when it was time to part ways.

I am so thankful and appreciative of everyone checking in on me via Twitter, text, email and phone calls on Friday night and over the weekend. We are both ok, no injuries or problems and feel incredibly blessed and lucky to be able to say that.

Once Knight was in my arms a whole three hours and 30 minutes after he landed, I felt infinitely better. Still shaken up, thankful that neither one of was injured, and so ready to get home. After navigating the parking garage which was basically a giant sheet of glass, trees, street signs and mangled metal, we made our way slowly but surely home, neither of us saying much but holding each other’s hands tightly.

The Question and The Answer: Our Engagement Story

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So, Saturday night, this happened:

 

Before I dive into the story (which is a little lengthy, my apologies in advance)…

* I was totally shocked and surprised. Even if you think you know that it might happen nothing can prepare you for the moment the man you’re crazy head over heels in love with asks you to marry him.

* Knight outdid himself hugely with my engagement ring. It’s so gorgeous and unique… it’s further proof that he knows me well since I rarely wear traditional rings/jewelry.

* It was really, really cold on Saturday. Which meant that our plans to go to a fancy Italian restaurant with a walk along a certain lake before hand fell through. The snow + rain + wind didn’t help either. So instead, we opted to stay in and have an indoor picnic. That’s where the story begins…

After a lovely morning of being lazy, eating poppyseed bagels (my favorite), and leisurely getting ready for our day, Knight and I headed to Ikea in search of a bookshelf (mission accomplished), some candles for the house (check), and for other home decor items for our house since my move-in date is about six weeks away. The weather turned super nasty while we were there, the wind picked up, the rain was pouring and on our way back to his place, which is about a 45 minute drive, it started full-on snowing. On April 16th. Our evening plans were pretty much ruined; I was bummed since we rarely get time to ourselves, but Knight turned it around when he offered an indoor picnic .

We picked up some great cheese, crackers, prosciutto (Italian Ham), wine, cookies and went home to cozy up, watch some movies, and relax. We watched “The Bourne Supremacy,” chatted during the movie, enjoyed some delicious cheese, and sipped our bevarges: Fat Tire for him, wine for me. We had the fabulous, cheap, yummy smelling Ikea candles burning, rain/ice hitting the window which made for a lovely, romantic afternoon.  At some point Knight decided he needed another beer and asked if I’d like some more wine. Never one to say no to a good Pinot Grigio I said sure, and he surprised me by asking if I could come and get my wine from him. I thought perhaps he had his hands full or was just being silly, so I wandered out to the kitchen/living room area and found Knight, on one knee, candles lit all around the ring, and he asked me to marry him.

I started shaking, ran right to him, hugged, kissed him and told him I loved him for a good five minutes at which point he said “Would you like your ring now?” I didn’t even look at the ring when he first asked me; I just saw him and had to hug him immediately. He put the ring on my finger and I got all teary-eyed at this point. We held each other for a little bit longer since he gives the best hugs ever and I just wanted to be close to him. I was just (and am!) so excited, shocked, surprised, honored, thrilled… basically a giant ball of good emotions. Ten minutes later while we were sitting together and basking in the awesomeness that is being engaged I asked him if I said yes, because I didn’t remember saying it. I wanted to be sure he knew that without a doubt I’d marry him. He assured me I had said yes amdist the hugs and and kisses.

(Knight confessed later that evening that he had planned to propose to me before dinner, just by the lake, but the weather ruined that obviously. He also said he didn’t want to wait any longer and was plotting in his head all day Saturday how he could propose to me.)

Once I stopped shaking from excitement, we treated ourselves to a delicious dinner in the cute Lake town where he lives, loved hearing our friends and families reactions to our news, and looking at each other saying “We’re Engaged!” I’m on Cloud Twelve, can’t stop smiling, incredibly giddy and just so glad that I get to spend the rest of my life with Knight, a man who makes me incredibly happy, feel loved, is one of my best friends, and just an amazing, amazing man. Words don’t do Knight or our relationship justic.

Thanks to everyone who has already called/texted/tweeted/emailed me congratulating; you and the blogworld never cease to amaze me!

If I missed anything or you have questions, let me know!

On Being a Bonus Mom

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I mentioned on Monday that after this weekend I didn’t feel like such a great Bonus Mom. Because so many of you rock and sent me emails of encouragement, to offer a shoulder of support, to make sure I was ok and etc., I thought I’d clarify a little bit.

What happened this past weekend was unlike anything I’ve experienced with Knight and the girls. Lots of attitude, talking back, simply ignoring anything Daddy & Nora said and other behaviorial issues. Perhaps it was the new environment, perhaps it was the activities, perhaps they were just simply in a mood, perhaps they were just testing us. I have no idea.

(Side Note: They were nothing but angels when they were in front of my parents; figures, right?)

After this weekend, I felt like I had no idea how to parent or help Knight parent the girls. I’ve said before I know I’m not their mother and I’m not here to replace her which I’ve told the girls countless times. However I’m certainly in a motherly/parental role and I take that role seriously partially because I love Knight and partially because I care about the girls and their well-being. 

Last weekend tested me and Knight: the strength of our relationship (thank goodness we are good at communicating, being open, honest and able to talk); our parenting skills (admittedly they need some work in some areas, but thanks to being able to talk, we have some new ideas and plans in place); our patience and energy levels. I felt frazzled by the end of it, thoroughly exhausted and totally clueless. And I hated that feeling. I know that not all weekends or days with the girls will be rosy because they haven’t all been impeccable to date, nor do I expect that, but I wasn’t prepared for how rough this past weekend was.  I know that their situation is rough having to go between to parents, that we are combatting the behaviors allowed/learned when they aren’t with Knight, and that they are young. But the constant trouble from the girls this weekend? Worse than usual.

There are some upsides to all of this…

 * I’m incredibly thankful for my years as a nanny/babysitting. I come prepared with my “kid kit,” (side note: I had totally forgotten that was from the Babysitter’s Club) chock full of coloring books, crayons, a mini-first aid kit, snacks, drinks, and random other toys. I am able to come up with fun ways to keep the girls occupied that doesn’t involve TV. I know what kids like in terms of food, movies, book, playtime and what they need in terms of naps, nurturing and daily care. All of those experiences have served me well so far and have helped Knight out as well.

* Knight and I had some amazing conversations on Saturday night after the girls went to bed on visions for parenting, how to make things better in the future, how to keep things consistent at his house so the girls know what to expect in the long-run. Conversations on what we expect of each other with our parenting hats on. Conversations on how to make sure we make time for each other even when we have the girls. We have a game plan and then of course laughed because we all know that kids and plans, well they don’t generally mix, but we are going to make it work.

* That despite the rough going, the happy memories I have from the “family” walks we took with the girls and Jack, sitting by the pond watching the ducks land, the girls picking “flowers” to put in their bikes or to give to me, the snuggles just before bed, how much they loved my parents, or the girls shouting that they miss me as they departed on Sunday.

* I’ve talked to my parents for ideas and tips on raising children, how I was brought up, what worked and what didn’t. I learned a lot about my childhood/upbringing and of course have a newfound and even healthier respect for my parents than before.

*  That at the end of the day, no matter what challenges we face, Knight and I will come together to work through things. We aren’t afraid to talk to each other, to share, to disagree, to make suggestions. I don’t have to worry with him about things not working out; it’s like it’s not even an option. We come together. We collaborate. We figure out a way to conquer. I have to say that it’s a refreshing feeling in a relationship; something I’ve never felt before.

So a tough weekend? Certainly. Did I learn from it? For sure. Will we be able to move forward and conquer these issues? Most definitely.