Clearing out the Cobwebs

Posted on October 21, 2010 by Nora

About a month ago I started having odd dreams.
Not odd as in bad, but odd as in “Where the heck did that come from?”

I’ve always had an active dream life but this particular week in question I had a dream every single night about an ex-boyfriend or ex-flame. Intense dreams, the kind that left me wishing I could be asleep instead of awake because in the dreams everything was perfect. These boys professed their undying love for me and not only that, they showed me by performing random acts of heroism by entering insane contests and winning. There were engagement rings and parties, and crazy make out sessions and hand holding. They were rather fabulous, until I remembered that they were dreams, and dreams about jerks at that.

So for this one week, all I did was think about my exes. The mistakes I made. The mistakes they made. The good things I learned. How I’ve learned to listen to my gut instinct. How independent I am and how I kind of love it. What I hope to find in the future when it comes to relationships, men, love. How I’m glad that I went through those experiences because they shape who I am today and while it may have been incredibly difficult at the time (and ok, sometimes here and there at present), I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything else.

Then I started thinking that perhaps my brain was purposely putting these images and dreams in front of me to help me realize that I have grown so much since some of those disastrous relationships, that I know what I want in life, in love, and that if I’m patient, I will find it. And that maybe, just maybe my brain is clearing out some of my memories, some of the little pieces of my heart that are still clinging to those good moments with exes, to make room for someone who may be right around the corner. If that means that some memories have to fall by the wayside or fade into the background in order to make room for something new and exciting then I’m ready for it.

What about you? Do you have an active dream life or think that sometimes your brain helps you to de-clutter to make room for the next big thing?

Summer…

Posted on June 18, 2010 by Nora

… is for:

Watching Sunsets. Wishing for a palm tree and pina colada. Impromptu late night chats on the patio. Dining al fresco. Sidewalk chalk. Blowing bubbles.

Lazy walks with the dog. Flip-flops and maincured toes. Sunscreen and shades. Mainpulating a few extra days vacation out of your boss. Getting to the ocean.

Visiting the penguins at the zoo. Rediscovering your city. Street fairs and farmer’s markets. Concerts and baseball games.

Float trips. Standing in the rain during a thunderstorm. Afternoon naps. Planning an old-fashioned sleepover. Ice cream cones.

Splashing in the pool. Loud music, windows down, wind in your hair. Flowy dresses. Renewed hope.

What are your summers for?

Nora Confessions, Part VII

Posted on May 6, 2010 by Nora

Previous installments: here , here , here ,here, here and here.

* I’ve never seen the original Star Wars movies. Ever.

* When I was in Key West for my friend’s bachelorette party, I committed the Cardinal Sin of vacations: I fell for a local. Captain Steve. Sigh. Italian, tall, tan, handsome and wildly adventurous.

* If I can’t sleep, I will eat M&Ms in bed while playing my Nintendo DSi.

* I still suffer from blogger envy on occasion: design, followers, stats. I know, it’s totally silly and shallow considering everything else that’s going on in the world.

* About once every two months, my Monica Gellar cleanliness tendencies go out the window. Suddenly there are piles of clothes, books and other randomness all over my room. It builds up until I can’t take it anymore and I do a clean sweep.

* I get really annoyed when the men I work with feel the need to make loud, bodily function noises in the hallway. I may be the only girl in the office, but I can hear them!

* I’m not sure that I’m feeling Glee this season. The plot line is a bit… jumpy.

* The other day, I caught a glimpse of myself and my hair in the mirror. The curliness and gray hair totally looked like Cher in Moonstruck. I haven’t decided if this is a good or bad thing. I guess it’d be good if it means I find some Italian dude who likes the look.

* Some days I wish I could be the party girl, the devil-may-care-attitude girl. Not the cares-what-people-think, people-pleasing, worrying-about-everyone-but-herself girl.

Anything you want to get off your chest today?

Free Hug Friday

Posted on April 9, 2010 by Nora

It’s been a bit of a whacky week across the board; maybe it’s residual full moon/tide crap, or maybe everyone just needs a week long siesta on the French Riveria or Italian Wine Country. Whatever it is, times like these I wish I could fly around the country to dole out hugs to friends and family and, okay, maybe wine and cupcakes too.

Since I can’t be everywhere I wish to be: in Florida with my childhood BFF who is about to give birth to her first child; my cousin who is engaged and planning her wedding; my friends going through break-ups and heartaches; having a beer with my brother; supporting friends who have men and women overseas. Since I can’t be there, maybe you can. Hug someone close to you today: friend or family, crush or boyfriend, dog or cat. Sometimes that’s all it takes to make someone’s day.

Let’s make today Free Hug Friday.

Whelmed

Posted on March 30, 2010 by Nora

“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”- Chastity from 10 Things I Hate About You

It’s how I live my life. I’m either underwhelmed, searching for things to do, worrying over every little detail of my life or crazy overwhelmed, mind racing 100 miles a minute, always moving to the next thing, the next task, the next thought. There are things I can’t give up: work, friends, family, the elusive Nora time, but other things are extras, bonuses.

Times like these- the overwhelmed times- I force myself to step back and remember why I’m doing this in the first place.

Why I’m going to graduate school with full force? Someday I plan to take over the family business and that someday is fast approaching. I’ll be just shy of 29 when that day comes. The industry I work in is predominantly men; rude, snide, doubting women kind of men. I’ve had experience (five years and counting), I have my bachelors degree and I decided about two years ago that an MBA would be the way to go. I want to be able to point the naysayers to my experience and my degree, letting them know I’ve rounded out my knowledge with an actual degree. Will it work? I have no idea, but at least I’ll feel a bit more prepared.

Why am I training for this 10 mile race? To say that I can. To say that I did. Because running makes me feel amazing and free. The stress melts away, the music pumps through my ears and into my veins and I become one with the pavement. I’ve always thought about running a long race and now that I’m 26, why the heck shouldn’t I just go for it? Nothing to lose by trying, nothing to gain by waiting. Everything that comes with it: the commradery from other runners, the weight loss, the feel-goodness, those are all just extra perks.

Some days it’s admittedly too much. Some days I can’t be the Superwoman I want to be at work, on the track, in the online discussion boards for school, as a friend and daughter/sister or mom to my darling dog Jack. Some days I have to choose which one gets my full attention and which will have to fall by the wayside. It feels like a race agains the clock, the daylight hours, the number of minutes before my eyes give up for the evening.

Other days it’s like a gust of wind is carrying me through the day, allowing me to multitask and smile, check things off the list and even leave some time to spare. Nothing stands in my way and nothing can’t be done.

{via}

I know myself; I hate not being busy. I thrive on time management and adding things to my calendar. To-do lists and Post-Its. It fulfills me. Reminds me that I can do anything. Is ultimately part of who I am. But sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to just be whelmed. Or, furthermore to give myself permission to just be whelmed. It’s probably more of the latter. Maybe someday I’ll get there.

Five Year Plan

Posted on March 12, 2010 by Nora

It’s funny how much things can change.

Five years ago (well, five years ago and four months, more or less), I graduated with my B.A. in International Studies. It was one of those “special,” degree programs where I got to choose my area of study, take the classes that interested me, and learned my little heart. (Seriously, I was a dork in college. I mean, a fun dork, but still… each class had it’s own notebook and highlighter. My planner was color coded. One of my best guy friends made fun of me for years because I was so organized and color coordinated.)

I finished college in three and a half years because little Miss Ambitious Me stayed during the summers to work random jobs, enjoy the town and take classes. Some days I think it was a great decision to finish early, others I wish I had stayed the last semester.

Turning in my final exam in my rural sociology class, an eye-opening, intriguing class, my professor asked my plans post-graduation. They were to: work for Bank of America as a teller, get them to pay for my grad school, save up for a house, and take it from there. I wanted to move to D.C. to work for non-profits or as a lobbyist. (You wouldn’t know it from my blog but I love politcal science, history, and making a difference.)

{via}

None of that ever happened. I didn’t want to work at a bank, so when my dad said that his new business needed an administrative assistant, I took the job. Salary, benefits and my dad as my boss? Sign me up. Within six months I created my own position, pitched it to my dad and his business partner and landed myself the role of Event Coordinator. Two years later, Event Manager. Now I manage to many different things to even put it on a business card (Event, Marketing, Contract Management, Client Relations, Teacher sometimes, and the girl who makes the coffee seems a bit excessive).

When I graduated I was dating a loyal, quiet, country boy. We had grand plans to get engaged and get married but hit a speed bump when he decided he didn’t want to move away from his small town and I wasn’t going to give up what little city life I had.

When I graduated I was going to live at home and save, save, save. After six months of working for my dad, I thought it best if I moved out on my own. So I did, for the past four years, anyway. I apartment hopped mostly because my roommates changed due to marriages, babies and fiances. I’m back at home again and so thrilled for the opportunity to save up money for my very own place. I’ve started perusing the houses and townhomes for sale, all with a yard of course so that Jack can play fetch. (And maybe I’ll get a second dog because Lord knows I’ve wanted one for awhile now!)

If you had asked me five years ago what I’d be doing today, I wouldn’t have said that I’d be a blogger, living in St. Louis, finishing my masters, a book fiend, single, working for the family business with the likely intent to take it over or training for a 10 mile race. I also wouldn’t have guessed that I would be happy with everything I just described, but I am. It feels like home, like me, like what I’m supposed to be doing. Even if there are days where I have my doubts, I know I’m on the right path.

I’ve also decided that my next five year plan is to have no plan. It just seems better that way.

Are you a believer in the five-year plan?

Free

Posted on February 15, 2010 by Nora

Sometimes you have to set yourself free.

{via Weheartit}

Free from the expectations of others, yourself.

Free from the daily schedule imposed by work, the gym, your day planner.

Free from the emails, google reader, facebook notifications that flow in day in and day out.

Free from the tunnel vision that so many of us fall prey to.

Free from the writer’s block that’s plagued you for two weeks.

Sometimes you choose to set yourself free, ignoring responsibility and running with reckless abandon. Staying up late instead of being a worker bee who goes to bed at 10 and gets up at 6. Choosing to go to the gym at 8pm even though you know you’ll be energized until midnight. Watching a movie guilt-free instead of thinking about the 100 things you should be doing. Getting lost in a book. Absorbing other cultures. Coming up with new challenges, hopes and dreams (thanks to watching the Olympics).

{Via Weheartit}

Other times, life happens and does it for you, telling you to slow the heck down, worry less, enjoy more. Maybe it throws a snow day at you, or you come down with the latest virus circulating the town.

Either way, it feels good. Refreshing. Reminding you that you have ownership of your life, your actions, your reactions.

If you don’t hear from me much this week, it’s because I’m busy living life … off the computer.*

{Via Flickr}

* I’m also recovering from the stupid virus that’s making it’s way around StL and that’s not fun to write about. And of course, when I say I’m going to live my life off the computer, I get 100 ideas for posts.

Tomorrow

Posted on February 2, 2010 by Nora

Tomorrow I will board a plane, ignore my fear of flying, and escape to Florida.

Tomororw I will not wear gloves, scarves, hats and layers upon layers of clothing for five whole days.

Tomorrow I will be free of work stress.

Tomorrow I will people watch wondering where they are coming from and where they are going.

Tomorrow I will laugh with my childhood friend of 18 years and her loving husband.

Tomorrow I will consider the possibilities of all that I need to do to make my life happen (as one tends to do on vacation).

Tomorrow is just the beginning.

(via)

While I’m on vacation this blog won’t be dark; I have several wonderful guest posters so be sure to check back for fresh perspectives from a few of my fav bloggettes!

That's What I Said

Posted on February 1, 2010 by Nora

“I think I really do want to have a baby… someday.”
Said on Friday night and then again on Sunday thanks to seeing a mass amount of cute little newborn babies and then baby shower shopping for my upcoming trip to Florida. Shocked that I said. Shocked that it’s true. Some days totally shocked that I’m nowhere close to that fairytale. For now though, I’ll just spoil everyone else’s babies.

“I’m an adult and not ashamed to say I loved this book.”
Said on Saturday afternoon after attending a lecture by a local StL writer (Ridley Pearson, author of Peter and the Starcatchers series, The Kingdom Keepers series and many mysteries) on his book, the Kingdom Keepers. He autographed my book which made me all sorts of giddy and thanked me for reading the Keepers series since it’s not quite as well known (yet). I should also explain that his mysteries are for adults, the other books? Young adult fiction. I always feel slightly sheepish navigating into the young adult section at the bookstore but these books are just SO GOOD. I will even admit that Kingdom Keepers scared me a bit.

“Don’t eat me! I am NOT hay!”
Said on Sunday (early) morning as Darling and I started our first volunteer day grooming horses at the local Equine Assisted Therapy park. Note to self: Wearing a bright yellow jacket is not a good idea as the horses will think you are hay and constantly try to devour parts of your coat. Editor’s Update: I actually enjoyed working with the horses except for when one bit the other and caused the horse I was working with to freak the heck out and nearly run me over.

Inner Peace *

Posted on January 26, 2010 by Nora

(via we heart it)

25 days into 2010 and work is beating me to a pulp. I’m not very good at pushing back at the office or saying no in my personal life which leaves me overextended and gasping for air. I feel behind in my friendships, my emails, my cards, the fun projects I like to do and kind of feel like a bit of a disappointment to myself and to others. My brain reminds me of Times Square on it’s busiest day: never slowing, lights flashing reminders of projects to-do, chores to attend to, noise and anything but calm. Overreacting? Maybe, but it’s just kind of how I feel. Maybe it’s the fact that we have had nothing but cloudy, gray days for the last two weeks, or maybe I just need more sleep.

Times like this it’s important for me to recenter myself, try to slow down and find moments of Inner Peace.

Peace is resolving to leave work at work as much as possible, even if that means not reconnecting your work email to your Crackberry.

Peace is holding a six-week old baby for 15 minutes on a Saturday afternoon. The gray clouds disappeared as you hold a miracle in your arms. Double the peace when you smell the sweet baby scent. I literally could have smelled his head (that’s where babies smell the best if you ask me) all day.

Peace is allowing yourself to take a nap on Sunday afternoon, ignoring the gym, and the laundry pile for another hour or two.

Peace is settling in with another romantic comedy even though the plot is formulaic but alas, they make you laugh, they make you cry, they remind me that you are a hopeless romantic and to never give up.

Peace is hitting the treadmill hard, increasing the speed and distance, blasting the rap & heavy metal and pounding it out.

Peace is falling into bed, reading a good book for 10 minutes before falling asleep with the lights on, the book on your stomach, and your dog snoring beside you.

Peace is learning to shut out the noise, ignore the to-do list (both personal and professional) and just working on refocusing. A work in progres surely, but it’s always good to have a starting point. Next step? Reorganizing the tasks in my work day for maximum productivity, meditating a few times a week, and allowing myself at least one fun-only-for-Nora activity a day.

{via weheartit}

* (Special thanks to Kyla and the conversations we’ve had lately as she’s inspiring me to write what I really need to write lately, no matter the topic. )

What do you do when everything seems to be going a little too fast? I’m always open to advice or new ways of looking at things!