Operation: Moving Nora

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Nora

The big move up North (in with Knight for those of you who may have missed that), the start of another adventure takes place in 23 days. 23 days.

I’ve been getting a lot of the same questions lately:

“Are you excited?” Yes, beyond excited. So glad for the days of long-distance to be behind me, to fall asleep and wake up next to Knight everyday, to explore and grow our relationship, explore a new city, expand my bonus mom role, reclaim my cooking/baking/house-keeping abilities and trying my hand at being a remote worker, start our own traditions and family time, meeting new people and hanging out with all the awesome ladies that won’t live far from me (coffee dates! Glee nights! Zoo trips!)

“Are you nervous?” Yes, I’m nervous too. It’s a big change; but a change we want, a change Knight and I need and are ready for. It will be different to be more than two hours driving distance from my family and STL friends. I’m nervous for all the reasons I’m excited, which I am glad for (I’d be concerned if I wasn’t nervous at all). It will be different to perform some of my “secret single behavior” with Knight around, like how I sometimes eat cheese while standing like a flamingo in the kitchen, or that sometimes I don’t do laundry for two weeks at a time and think nothing of it. Moments of thinking like that remind me of the Sex and the City (I can always find a parallell between my life and that show…) episode where Miranda freaks out about moving in with Steve:

“I do love you, but I’ve never lived with anybody before, and I’m stubborn, and I like the remote, and I can’t cook, and I don’t do laundry sometimes for like two weeks, and my sponges smell, and you’re gonna see all that, and I’m scared….”

I’m not scared to live with Knight but old habits die hard. You see, I’ve never had anyone love me unconditionally before, so there’s a part of me that has to get over the fear that he’ll bolt just because I don’t wash my hair everyday (it dries out too easily) or that I like cereal for dinner occasionally. In that vain, Knight and I have done a lot of talking and planning for this move involving household chores/roles/duties/budgeting. We’ve shared some of our little quirks with each other, all of his I find totally adorable in fact and his response to mine: ”I love you for you, all of you.” (Many bonus points for that response, Knight.) Am I afraid he’ll hate something I do or say? No, not at all. I suppose I’m just acknowledging the vulnerability of being fully in love and fully letting someone in.

Oh, and of course, we have been making room for my stuff so that we don’t have a situation similiar to this take place (only Jack will be eating some random toy that belongs to the girls and Knight will get fed up with the various facial care products I have): The Good Fight

Knight continues to be fantastic as he hasn’t so much as raised an eyebrow at all the shoes, books, movies, clothes, dresses and other randomness that I come with as it has started to make its way into boxes and into his house. He probably deserves a medal for that.

I know there will be adjustments to be made as we navigate the waters of cohabitation, all of which will make us stronger and better for it, I’m sure. I know there will be laughter and arguments, joy and occasional moments of missing home and family (thank goodness for unlimited texting & cell phone minutes), but above all I know that I’m ready to take this next step, to further immerse myself into my/our new life.

Now, if only those boxes would pack themselves…

Tornado of Love

Posted on March 17, 2011 by Nora

For as long as I can remember my close friends have told me that once I met “the guy,” it would be nothing short of a whirlwind. They were right.

Everything with Knight has been a whirlwind; the best kind of whirlwind that I could imagine. It’s been a tornado of love ever since we met.

Nothing about our relationship has been ordinary or mediocre. Not the way we met, how we started dating, when we met each other’s families. Not how fast we started falling for one another, not how much we wanted to spend time with another. None of it has been ordinary.

So when Knight asked me to move in with him, in a city that is close to 400 miles away from where I live currently? I was over the moon. The right answer, the one that lept from my lips after he asked me was a resounding YES. I didn’t think about my job, or my family and friends that are here. All I could think about is how right it feels: How I smile and laugh more than before. How I love harder, not just Knight but everyone around me. How I still get the butterflies every time I see him. How I can’t picture my life without him at all. And about 10,000 other things and reasons that I can’t articulate. So I said yes and worried about everything else later.

And of course, everything else is coming together. I’m going to be able to keep my job and will be joining the force of others who work remotely. My family (and Knights’) is beyond supportive (and I’m sure it helps that Knight took the time to talk to my parents about his plans and intentions with me moving up there), my friends have been nothing but thrilled and giddy for me.

I’ll be moving in less than 80 days (not that I’m counting… or maybe I am, because this long distance business is tough).
While I’ve been riding Cloud Twelve (I’m definitely higher than Cloud Nine these days), I have put my feet on the ground long enough to have big conversations with Knight about what’s ahead.

We have had lots of serious talks about the move: how I can acclimate to the digs and town (I plan to do some volunteering, get involved at the local library with book clubs and hopefully writing classes, join a gym, maybe time permitting snag a part-time job), how I’ll adjust to working remotely (I’ll be working from home a few days a week with trips to Starbucks & Caribou during the week, and occasionally going to work at Knight’s office as well). We’ve talked about what to expect when we have his girls and what my role will be in their lives. We’ve talked design, style, where my stuff will go, chores and all that jazz. I know there will be lots of surprises, changes and challenges as it all unfolds, but I love that we have these talks anyway.

In addition to being with Knight, I’ll also be closer to some of my most favorite bloggers turned friends and have plans for coffee dates, trips to baseball games, day trips into their big city, double dates with their men, wine nights and more. I’ll also be just a little over an hour away from my cousin in case I need a quick dose of family; I’ll be coming home every other month to see my parents and of course for most holidays too.

One thing I’ve learned from dating Knight, it’s that the quote above is so true. I’ve fallen and loved harder, learned, enjoyed and discovered more and lived my life for me and for what I want more since I’ve been dating Knight than I have in any other relationship. Life is more vibrant, exciting and rewarding with Knight in my life. I’m moving for love; I don’t know if it gets any better than this.

On Dating…

Posted on February 18, 2011 by Nora

… when in a Long Distance Relationship.

When Knight and I were in Florida one of my friends asked me how we date. You know, where the dude picks you up, maybe brings you flowers, opens your door and treats you to a night out?

We both started laughing because, well, we don’t really “Date.” I mean, we go out on what I’d call dates where he is all chivalrous but in terms of getting together for a mid-week date? Yeah, obviously doesn’t happen. And in case any of you were wondering the same thing, here’s my (long-winded) answer.

We have entire weekends that are dates. In fact, I’d say our first date was about 40 hours long. He came in just two weeks after meeting me (and probably oh, 20 hours of talking on the phone) and we spent an entire weekend together. Apart from visiting my fair city to attend a slew of Cardinals games, he’d not spent much time here. So I compiled a list of must-do and must-see things, fearing that perhaps 36 hours together would be too much and we’d get bored. Turns out a) we didn’t get bored and b) he really enjoyed everything we did from watching sports at a local bar to sitting on Art Hill in Forest Park, to looking at the penguins with me in the Zoo. Oh, and eating some of the best fried chicken ever, not to mention attending a wedding with me where he knew no one. When it was time for him to leave? Oh the sadness. Seriously.

It’s funny, this weekend-as-a-date business. Things that normally would take a few months to learn? Yup, you learn much faster. I knew within a few weeks the order in which Knight puts his cell phone and wallet in his pocket (first his watch, then wallet, then cell phone), what size shoe he wears, his preferred method of shaving and all sorts of other random tidbits that if we had lived in the same city? I wouldn’t have learned for quite sometime. Our weekends-as-dates have morphed over the last few months; they are still dates, don’t get me wrong but now they alternate between “just us” weekends, time with him and his girls (which are some of my favorite weekends) or time with us and our respective families. We don’t treat each weekend as something “special.” We do normal couple things like go grocery shopping or take naps, or do laundry while cleaning up the girls’ rooms. We might even opt out of a date on a Saturday night in favor of pizza and movies on TV.

Sometimes “dating” in a long distance relationship is hard. Like when you’re video chatting and for some reason the service doesn’t want to cooperate. Or when you both had long, hard days and just want to hug each other, but you can’t. Or when you want to be with each other just because you like being with each other. I truly look forward to the day where distance isn’t an issue, where mid-week dates are possible and we can see each other on a more regular basis.

All that being said, I’ve come to love our relationship and how we make it work. Lots of texting. Definitely phone calls. Video chatting (when it works). Bending over backwards for the other one to make it to special parties and events, or just to see each other. It works. We make it work. And I love that we make it work. And our version of dating? Just might be my favorite kind yet.

(Also, I’ve received a few questions about me, Knight, the girls and etc. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments and I’ll answer them in an upcoming post!)

Lessons Learned: The Love Edition

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Nora

Lessons Learned thanks to love…

* Sometimes love makes absolutely no sense at all: who you fall in love with, what makes it work, why it ends, what makes you yearn for it. No sense at all.

* Love really can be inconvenient but I’ve decided that the “inconvenient” kind is the best kind. It is challenging, rewarding, amazing and 150% worth it.

* If love ends, there’s a reason for it. It stings, it hurts, it’s incredibly painful. You’ll come out stronger on the other side, lessons learned in your head and heart and ready to move on.

* As cliched as it may sound love really does show up when you least expect it.

* I’ve learned to appreciate rap music, known countless sports statistics, how to make risotto, things about farming, how amazing Chipotle can be, all thanks to the various relationships I’ve had over the years.

* Dogs will always love unconditionally and be there to greet you with tail wags and kisses every single day. It’s pretty damn amazing how they love with all their hearts.

* I’ve learned compromise. Patience. Understanding. How to really listen to someone. How to be a best friend, a confidante. How to trust.

* I don’t hate Valentine’s Day as much when I’m truly, 100% in love with someone… even if I can’t be with him today.

* Friendship love is one of my favorite kinds; I have so many amazing “girlfriends” in my life and I know I’d be lost without them.

* That sometimes what you thought you wanted in a relationship or a man is totally not what you wanted at all.

* Romantic comedies and Disney Princess movies seem unrealistic but there are aspects to them that are real. The butterflies. The smiles. The hope. The intensity. The fireworks. It can all be present in love and it’s lovely when it is.

* Love is worth the fall.

What have you learned from love?

Hurdles, Fences and Walls

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Nora

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

There are some relationships that I’ve been it where it has been barrier after barrier, issue after issue: where all signs pointed to STOP! DO NOT PASS GO! Sometimes I gave in early, knowing there would be no point. Other times I forged on thinking something would change only to wind up heartbroken and maybe a little bitter. I learned my lesson.

Even though history repeats itself, there is bound to be something that will break the mold.

Like with Knight. First, we have the distance. You’d think that would be a huge barrier, especially to begin a relationship in a long-distance state. Some said it couldn’t be done. But it can. You just have to want it, and we both do.

I knew the night that I met Knight that not only did we live six hours from one another but that he was divorced and an amazing father to two adorable little girls. I talked to him anyway. The spark was undeniable. I wasn’t worried about the divorce, the kids, and his “story.” I was more worried about if I’d see him again.

I remember he said to me as we sat by the fire “I have two girls.” My response? “I know. I have a dog.” Not that I think a dog and children are the same at all, don’t get me wrong, but my point was that we all have something… children, pets, a house that we can’t sell, baggage from previous relationships. It’s there. And those things shouldn’t stop us from falling in love with someone that we can’t stand to be away from.

I knew the story behind the divorce; his story is not mine to tell but trust me when I say that he did the best he could in a not so awesome situation, came out stronger and better for it on the other side.

I also knew that I’d meet the girls and would fall crazy in love with them, would fall even more in love with Knight watching him as a father, and that all my worries about the girls liking me would melt away. I’ve spent several weekends with Knight and the girls and it just feels right. They may not ever be my kids, but it feels like this entire situation from meeting Knight when I did, to him having gorgeous daughters, to falling in love with a tall, dark and handsome man… it all just feels right. (Well for those things and about 10,000 other reasons. Like how much Knight loves dogs and has totally captured Jack’s heart. How well he gets along with my brother and my family. How awesome his family is. He always leaves one of his shirts for me every time he leaves which always smells like him. He watched Glee with me. He has seen, by his own accord, “You’ve Got Mail,” and actually liked it. He’s patient if I ask questions about sports. He loves the St. Louis Cardinals. He knows I love jewelry from Tiffany’s and actually bought some for me. He doesn’t laugh at me for liking Twilight… yet. He knows his way around a grill and makes a mean steak. He loves Mexican food just as much as I do. He gives me butterflies every time he calls, texts or shows up at my door.)

So while the distance and other things may seem like barriers to some, they have in fact brought Knight and me closer. Maybe because we are both willing to jump over walls and tall buildings to be with the each other, or maybe because some things don’t matter nearly as much as one would think when you’re in love. Or maybe it’s because we’re up front, honest and have crazy, awesome, serious conversations from the beginning of our relationship to this day that have left me grinning from ear to ear, knowing that we are both on the same page in terms of life and what we want out of it in all aspects. All of this and so much more have me incredibly excited for what the future will hold for me and Knight.

Weekend Knights

Posted on January 18, 2011 by Nora

It’s no secret I’m in a long distance relationship.

It’s also no secret that long distance relationships are hard. Worth it? Yes. But really hard. (Thank goodness for unlimited texts, emails and video chat dates, not to mention supportive friends and family.)

I know Knight and I are fortunate in that we get to see each other more than most people; the 375 miles that separate us don’t seem so daunting as they first did. The six hour drive is marked by landmarks, the pit stops that I always frequent, funny road signs (like a town named Paw Paw) and 6 highways (I love ticking off the highways I’ve been on in my head as it means I’m almost there). And those weekends where we see each other? We make the most of it.

This past weekend it was just the two of us. (Cue Will Smith song singing in the background…) The first time since mid-November that we had each other all to ourselves. It’s weekends like this that we spend them learning new things about each other, like how Knight had an earring in college (you can still see the small piercing hole if you look closely at his ear), or how I was an editor for my school yearbook and was voted “always has a shoulder to lean on.” There is laughter about Knight going to a rave sometime in high school against his mother’s will considering it was totally not worth it. There are moments you open your heart and share things about your past that you never thought you’d never talk about again over glasses of wine and amazing dinners. While you’re at a bar, there is no one else there; just the two of you. Public Displays of Affection are not gross, they are encouraged; after all you have to soak up all the hugs and kisses you can. Meeting friends for super late night drinks is required, followed by pizza at 1am, just because you can. You gain insight into what life would be like if you were closer to each other, could see each other on a regular basis. And you kind of love it. (Who are we kidding, you totally love it.)

Grand plans are made. Future vacations discussed. Hours are spent on the couch watching streaming Netflix. Dinners are made listening to favorite music, dancing around the kitchen, smiling and laughing. The night before he leaves we each look at other and say “we could get used to this.”

These weekends hold the promise of what is yet to come, a promise that is exhilarating, hopeful and full of joy. A promise I can’t wait to fulfill.

Tidbit Thursday

Posted on January 13, 2011 by Nora

* I haven’t had soda since December 25th; I’ve had no caffeine withdrawal headaches and overall I don’t miss it one single bit. Until I eat pizza. Or Mexican. But I’m staying strong, chugging water instead of carbonation and overall I know it’s better for me. Maybe not as fun, but better.

* Last night I watched “Going the Distance.” I totally loved it. Justin Long is hilarious, Drew Barrymore has an infectious laugh and Justin Long’s sidekicks in the movie are laugh-out-loud funny. I would recommend watching this when you’re not in a long distance relationship, however. That made it a bit tough. I laughed. I cried. I loved it. And I now want to slow dance with Knight in the ocean.

* It was -1F when I woke up today. That’s just insanity. I’m wearing gloves and hats and scarves and tights and I’m *still* cold. I really hope it’s a bit warmer in Florida in a few weeks. My body needs to thaw out.

* Tomorrow evening I get to pick Knight up from the airport. This will be the second time I get to do that (his work is super flexible about where he flies in/out of, so sometimes he can plan work trips so we get back-to-back weekends together) and each time, I think of Hugh Grant at the beginning of Love Actually. It’s really true: everyone who is there waiting for some greets them with hugs, kisses, flowers, high-fives and smiles. There is no hate at airports. Just love. It’s fun to be a part of that experience; to greet someone who has been traveling all week long, eating meals out and sleeping in strange hotel rooms, to give them a hug and just be together for a moment.

* I’m making progress on my 30 Before 30 List; over the holiday I realized I’d already seen 17 Oscar movies, so I’m upping the challenge to 40 movies instead. That seems much more fun to me! I’m trucking right along in the Harry Potter series and am totally in love with the books, the writing, the plots, the twists and turns. I can’t wait to start book #4 which I will do after I plow through (hopefully?) the stack of library books I just borroed. I’ve started researching trips to Alaska (goal is to go in 2012) and Italy (goal is 2013, if not sooner with the family) and soon I hope to start knitting lessons with my Gram. I know I have plenty of time but now that I’m post grad-school it’s nice to have something to work on.

* I saw True Grit last weekend; I wasn’t thrilled with it. Good acting for sure but I feel like the plot/story left something to be desired. I think we’ll be seeing The Fighter this weekend and I must say I’m rather excited for a dose of Marky-Mark. Along those lines, Backstreet Boys & New Kids on the Block are touring together and coming to STL this summer. I kind of want to go. (I saw Backstreet Boys in high school. Screamed the lyrics so much that I lost my voice. Don’t judge. I’m sure you have best friends who did it too!)

(And don’t forget to enter my “Greening Giveaway“! You have until Sunday to enter!)

Any tidbits you feel like sharing?

The 2010 Wrap-Up

Posted on January 5, 2011 by Nora

I hadn’t planned on doing the 2010 Wrap-up partially because a good portion of the year was spent recovering, healing, with my nose in books finsihing up my masters. And partially because you were all here for the good, the bad, the ugly (and I thank you for it!).

But it doesn’t seem right to start a new year without looking back, at least a little bit.

So, 2010, in a paragraph…..

Blogger meet-ups that were good for the heart and soul. Fried food on a stick. Bar Crawls that left me with mean hangovers. Training for a 10-mile race, getting injured, but forging on and running a 10k anyway. Adjusting to living with the parents. Countless books read, movies watched, journal pages scribbled in. Learning how to get over heart-wrenching pain. Embracing the people in my life who make me feel good. Eating a whole lot of Mexican food. Letting go of toxicity in my life, whether it be plans, people, or dreams. Cuddles with Jack. Laughing so hard it made my stomach hurt and tears roll down my face. Reasserting my hopes and dreams, ones that are attainable. Finishing my masters and being so thrilled that I actually did it. Squeeing with joy when my diploma came just before Christmas. Getting back to my roots, back to who I really am. Being surprised by love. Being surprised by what I would do for love. Growing stronger every day. Being choosy. Road trips, lots of road trips. Allowing myself to be a hopeless romantic again, and not apologizing for it. Refusing to settle. Learning to say no. At the same time, learning to say yes. Becoming obsessed with all things Ann Taylor Loft, Nintendo, and baking (again). Deciding that I won’t dye my hair any color other than it’s natural color, even if the grays show through. Making amazing new friends that I would be 100% lost without. Hugging my parents more. Falling in love with not only a great man, but also myself.

I’m not making resolutions this year (I’m really bad at them). Instead I’m just facing 2011 head-on with all the changes that I know are ahead of me, some which will change the rest of my life I suspect, and am prepared to tackle all the changes and challenges that I can’t yet see. I’m going into 2011 with hope, joy and smiles and I know that it will be a good year.

What are you going into 2011 with?

Lessons Learned…

Posted on January 3, 2011 by Nora

… over my Christmas vacation.

* Making gingerbread houses, even the pre-made ones, isn’t as easy as it looks. You also may or may not have your hands covered in red, green and white icing.

* Additionally, even though you are 27 some parts of the houses will come out looking like a two year old did them.

* There is nothing sweeter than spending four hours in the kitchen churning out baked goods to get the family through the holiday season. Bonus: the way Knight’s eyes light up when he enjoys some of the confections I make.

* If the weathermen say it is really going to snow, believe them. It will happen. And may attempt to interfere with all of your plans even if it is just a few inches.

* Some men really know how to shop and give Christmas presents. Knight is included in this list (as is my brother and dad).

* Getting up before everyone else on Christmas Day gives you time to prepare not only the cheesy potatoes that everyone relies on you for, but also time to enjoy quiet time by the tree and reflecting on all the joy in your life.

* Don’t be surprised if for some strange reason, the day that you’re supposed to meet Knight’s extended family you wake up covered from head-to-toe in unexplicable, painful, terrible hives. (And when they refuse to go away after 48 hours, thus landing you on a week’s worth of steroids.)

* Do be a trooper, take Benadryl, drink lots of water, put on a strategically placed scarf and sweater, and forge on to meet the aforementioned extended family.

* There are some men who will still tell you’re beautiful even if you look like a Red Monster thanks to the hives. This means Knight. This means he is super awesome. This also means you can have pictures of him now….

* There is nothing good on daytime tv. Ever.

* It gets a lot harder to sleep in as you get older so make the most of the early daytime hours and allow yourself a nap in the afternoon.

* Be ok with the fact that you’re not a New Year’s resolution person, but instead resolve to live with one simple intention throughout 2011.

* Silly family photo shoots in front of the Christmas Tree? A must.

* Your family is still the best. Never forget this.

This Christmas…

Posted on December 22, 2010 by Nora

Three days until Christmas. I think the Christmas spirit is finally hitting me; I mean, how could it not after doing the final grocery shopping for the holiday, listening to Glee and Harry Connick Jr Christmas music, and lots of chats with friends and family in the last few days!? Not to mention all the “Christmas secrets” I know which is just super fun.

While I’m taking a bloggy break until after the New Year (when I’ll return with new features and giveaways and much more!), I’ll be pretty busy…

* This Christmas I’m looking forward to drinking wine and making Gingerbread houses with my brother. We laugh a lot, take goofy pictures and actually take the Gingerbread house decorating seriously.

* I can’t wait to wrap presents with my dad while we watch The Santa Clause, a long-standing tradition of ours. He lets me in on some Christmas secrets and we have a good time every year, without fail.

* I’m super excited to put on my awesome fleece-y Christmas PJs that I bought at Old Navy (I may or may not have bought two pairs and some really comfortable socks to go with them. A girl has to have options!)

* I’m ready to be delighted this Sunday when the whole family heads to the Cirque de Soleil Holidaze show.

* I still have a handful of Christmas movies I have to watch so I’m hoping to have my own mini wrapathon this week and enjoy some of my favorites at the same time (hello, Love Actually and The Holiday!)

* This year I think I’m going to a Candlelight Church Service and I couldn’t be more excited (weather permitting as we are supposed to get dumped on with snow apparently). Bonus: it’s also the traditional carol service!

* I have lots of fun dinner dates planned with friends, lunches with out of-towners and some much needed pampering me time.

* NO work. For TEN Days. Be still my heart.

* Above all of this, I think I’m most excited to just be with my family and The Boyfriend (who seriously needs a nickname. I’m thinking Knight will be it…) over Christmas this year! I can’t wait to see the looks of surprise and joy on my family’s face when they open their presents, I’m super stoked about what I bought Knight (we are exchanging presents on Christmas Eve) and I’m just ready to revel in the holiday joy.

What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 days?

I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, much love, joy and hugs throughout the holiday season!