Monthly Archives: February 2012

Book Review: Come and Find Me

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 Amount of time it took me to read Come and Find Me by Hallie Ephron:  Less than two days. I started and finished it over the period of a weekend. It’s oddly addictive. You can feel the suspense as you read the book from the very start. Because this book is different than what I usually read and because I so thoroughly enjoyed it, I give it four out of five stars.

 About the book, from the back cover:

Reformed hacker Diana Highsmith hasn’t left her house in over a year . . .

. . . not since she watched the man she loved fall to his death in the Swiss mountains. Now a grief-stricken recluse, she runs a thriving Internet security company from her home—meeting with clients in OtherWorld, an online virtual reality platform where she lives as her avatar, Nadia. The only two people Diana has seen live in the past twelve months are her sister, Ashley, and her UPS delivery guy.

But when Ashley vanishes, Diana is forced to do the unthinkable: to brave both the outside and her own personal demons to find her missing sister. As one shaky step leads to another, Diana finds that the trail she is following is fraught with peril for her and her sister both—as she uncovers a frightening web of deceit and betrayal that stretches from the virtual world into real life.

Favorite thing about this book:  The characters! Ephron does a great job of making you care about the characters and their fate as the book progresses. I found myself rooting for Diana as she navigates a new and uncertain world after the death of her husband, laughing along with her sister Ashley, and reading to find out what happens once Ashley disappears. The writing captures the reader and the story is presented concise writing but Ephron manages to evoke emotion and create scenes effortlessly. Give the book about 50 pages and next thing you know you’ll be glued to the book as Ephron crafts twists, turns, plot developments and surprises that I don’t think you’ll see coming. Ephron says she hopes that her books will keep readers up at night; without revealing details I’ll say that this book definitely shouldn’t be read alone, in the dark, or on a stormy night.

What I didn’t like about this book: Some of the computer jargon was lost on me and confused me at times. Even though Knight is in the IT world and I’ve known other IT-oriented people in my life, this is a new side of the computer world (hacking, virtual worlds) that I didn’t follow in technical detail. Fortunately it’s not detrimental to my understanding of the book and plot. I do think people who aren’t at least familiar with the idea of virtual worlds (social media in it’s own right) may not enjoy this book.

After finishing this book I am curious about Ephron’s other novels and will have to check them out (after my hear stops racing from all the suspense in this novel!). For more on and about Ephron, check out Hallie Ephron’s Facebook page or her website; kind of wish I could check her out at one of the writing conference where she’s teaching and speaking.

Do you enjoy novels of suspense? If not what is your favorite genre?  

Disclosure: TLC Book Tours provided me with a complimentary copy of Come and Find Me to read and review; I was not otherwise compensated to write and share my own views and opinions about this book. As such, all opinions, thoughts and commentary are my own.

Wine and Love v46

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Always welcoming new friends and bloggers to this weekly event! If you don’t know what’s up check it out Wine & Love, join in on your own blog or comments. (Also, we’ve been at this for 46 weeks! I know we have had participants come and go but this little exercise helps me focus on the good stuff, evevn when I have w(h)ines.)

W(h)ines:

* Doing the right thing is really hard to do sometimes.

* People (namely work colleagues) who don’t read emails thoroughly/clearly. Makes so much more work.

* A whole host of other things that are nibbling at and bugging me these days but would be too long to write!

Loves:

* This has been a week of catching up with friends. Does wonders for my soul.

* Devouring a book in less than 24 hours last weekend; it wasn’t awesomely great but it was definitely entertaining.

* I upped my workouts in this past week so that on my Shred days I am doing two levels a day and living to tell about it. I’m really trying to kick my own butt as though I was at a gym (aka operation wedding). So far, it’s working. I am also blogging this to hold myself accountable for my workouts.

* House Hunters & House Hunters  Interational. I can’t get enough of those shows.

* Free Book Fridays on Nook. Who doesn’t love free?

* Random neck massages from Knight after a long day.

What’s on your wine/love list this week?

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On my Mind

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* Lent begins today. This means last night I enjoyed soda, chips and chocolate in preparation for the next 40 days, and hopefully beyond. I may be a tad grumpy for a bit since I won’t be able to enjoy any of my vices but it’s healthy for me and a good lesson in self-control among other things.

* I fell down a wedding planning rabbit hole last night. It started at looking for and creating our invitation and RSVP card wording. Then it turned into looking at paper flower templates, ideas, and other decor for the ceremony. It wound up with me looking at offbeatbride.com for about half an hour. And then looking at my wedding dress online (again).

* Last night while working out, Knight let Jack into the garage with us and put his dog bed in the middle of the floor. After Jack sniffed every possible corner of the garage and doing a few doggie curls (aided by Knight of course), he curled up in his dog bed and watched us until we were done. It was pretty adorable and hilarious.

* In less than two months we will be in Florida for a week. I can’t wait. It’s so needed. SO. NEEDED.

* Lately I’ve been contemplating going to law school. I know I’ve already done the school thing twice but after seeing firsthand how difficult the court system can be to navigate, specifically in the area of family/divorce law, well, it makes me want to go to law school. I thought about law school a ton after I graduated with my Bachelor’s but it never happened. Time will tell but as of right now, I’m figuring out how to work into my five year plan. (And seriously, the system is so frustrating. Really makes one feel alone. More on that another time.)

* I think our issues with our phone/internet/cable are finally fixed after a whopping ten service calls. Here’s hoping it stays that way.

* This past weekend Jolie asked me if she could start doing things like “big kids,” do. I had no idea what she was talking about (I had visions of her wanting to put on lots of make-up, wear crop t-shirts, pierce her ears and stay out until midnight even though she’s only five) but alas she just wants to do dishes and help with laundry. Saturday and Sunday night she got the step stool out and rinsed dishes/loaded the diswasher with Knight.

* The Oscars are this Sunday. My mom is having her annual Oscar party and this is the first year in ages I won’t be there; Skyping and texting will definitely be in order.

What’s on your mind today?

Wine and Love v45

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Always welcoming new friends and bloggers to this weekly event! If you don’t know what’s up check it out Wine & Love, join in on your own blog or comments.

Reasons I’m drinking w(h)ine this week:

* Dealing with difficult work situations and cross-office politics.

* I’m a worry wart and lately it’s been worse than usual. I’m trying to put a cap on my worry and only think and do what I can and let the rest go. It’s taking more time than I would like.

* Looks like Knight and I have more work trips coming up in the next month or so. I love the work trips once I’m on them, but the getting there and the traveling, ugh, I could leave that behind.

* The really creepy performance by Nicki Minaj at the Grammy’s on Sunday. For me that’s what nightmares are made of.

Reasons I’m loving life this week:

* The amazing comments and support I received on yesterday’s post. Thank you for making it easier for me to put it out there.

* Dave Matthews Band 2012 Tour Dates have been announced and rumor has it there is a new studio album coming out too. Cannot wait. This will be my 11th DMB concert assuming I can make it this year.

* The books I’ve been reading lately have been really, really good. Like can’t put them down good. I look forward to bedtime so that I can curl up with a good book for a bit. Most recent good book: Sarah’s Key. If you haven’t read it, I strongly suggest that you do.

* Having a lovely and relaxing Valentine’s Day with Knight on Tuesday. Dark Hot Chocolate at Caribou. Walking around our little town, down the main street, window shopping and laughing. Indulging in Chipotle because, well, it’s just that good.

* We are still sticking with our workout routine and I’m seeing results and feeling so much better. So glad I came up with a workout schedule that works for me and I can keep up with.

* Watching another movie with Knight (50/50) that made for more great conversation and big life contemplations.

* My good blog friend Becky is a Stratejoy essay finalist. Go read it. Fall in love with it. And then when it’s time to vote for her later this month? Do that, too.

Anything have you reaching for the wine bottle this week? What’s on your love list?

 

 

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Truth: Living with Divorce

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I’ve been trying to write this post for a really long time and it has been incredibly tough to do so. This post is indicative of my experience the last several months; not sharing it has been incredibly difficult for me as I have felt like I was hiding a part of my life, though it wasn’t intentional. Due to the sensitive nature of this topic I have kept it quiet and even in this post, vague. I needed to get this out here; not for pity or praise, advice or admonishing, but because it’s a part of me and who I am now. Thank you, in advance for letting me share this.

There are good divorces and there are bad divorces.

You know the good kind, the ones that are portrayed on TV in shows like the New Adventures of Old Christine and Reba where the parents don’t really get along but kind of do in an odd sort of way, mostly for the kids? Those good divorces really do exist; I have friends with parents who are like that and I think that’s awesome, I really do.

But the bad kind? No one really talks about those as much or if they do, in my experience, you only hear about the “deadbeat dads,” who don’t pay child support or fail to show up when they are supposed to. I know those kinds exist too because a few of my childhood friends went through that kind of divorce. However, there’s another kind entirely that no one seems to talk about, one that Knight lived before I met him and the one we live on a daily basis. (Knight says that the post-divorce situation was even worse before I came on the scene as I thought perhaps I was the reason for her behavior.)  According to our lawyer it’s typical of only five to ten percent of divorces in the country. It’s the one where even though the divorce is over it’s not really over. The ex-wife can’t/won’t let things go, even though she’s moved on, even though she’s having a baby with the new man in her life, even though she was the one who left, the ex-wife makes post-divorce life miserable. There is no such thing as co-parenting, not in a situation like this. It’s her way of parenting/getting things from you, whether it’s related to the children or not… or the highway.  There is harassment, name calling, verbal abuse, yelling all of it bordering on stalking but yet there is nothing that can legally be done. There is a blatant disregard for the court order, even when it’s the simplest of things. There is always an excuse as to why X,Y and Z didn’t/shouldn’t/can’t happen. There is emotional stress and damage caused to everyone involved: the kids, me, Knight, probably even her boyfriend and herself, I’m sure.

We are afraid to parent, sometimes, because the kidlets are grilled about their time with us and then their words are twisted around and used against us in spiteful emails and messages that are anything but constructive. We are afraid to be ourselves as we don’t want to get the kidlets in trouble or put them in a worse position than they are already in.

Knight legally has the kids 50% of the time, which means an equal sharing in everything from finances to decision making to the time spent with them, yet we are constantly stripped of the opportunity to make important decisions about schooling, extra-curricular activities, social calendars and the like. Decisions that we would like to be involved in are made unilaterally and if one is politely challenged by Knight, it’s World War IV (or V and beyond).  There is nothing that can legally done about the situation he/we/I are in. He’s tried talking to her about how her behavior and actions impact his ability to parent and the effect lasts for a week, and then it’s right back to where it started. We have tried lawyers, court; even a communication portal to improve things but none of it has worked.  People say to just ignore her and the noise she makes, but there is a rule in our court order that says we must review all communication from her just in case there is something legitimate (so far there hasn’t been). I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to know that nine times out of ten the emails, texts, conversations that Knight has result in badgering, belittling, and making him/us feel so small. (The ex-wife may not follow the rules but if we don’t it’s the apocalypse.) Really takes a toll on a person and sometimes our relationship.

There are concerns over the children’s well-being when they aren’t with us. Health concerns. Educational concerns. Emotional concerns. We can see it on their faces when they come to our house; they volunteer up information that has us raise our eyebrows. We jot the concerns down, store them away for the lawyer and make the most of what the situation is because that’s all we can do. (People suggest confronting her. We’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.)

We play so nice it hurts. We show up when we are supposed to. We give/do/pay for what is required of us (and then some because with kids there is always a then some!). We take an active role in their lives from health to spiritual, educational to imagination and everywhere in between. We are good parents: we do what feels right for the girls, research what we aren’t sure of, and most of all we love and nurture them as much as we can. We keep our mouths shut  all of the time because if we don’t we’d surely say something mean and that’d we regret. We live with this reality that Knight’s divorce, even though the marriage is over, the aftermath is not. We live in that five to ten percent statistic. We live this daily knowing that it can’t go on, that it has to get better and in order for that to happen? Some big changes will have to take place. 

 

Valentine and Ray LaMontagne

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Happy Valentine’s Day!
Wishing all my friends, readers, family and loved ones a day full of cheer, smiles and knowing that you are incredibly loved by this girl and I hope you’ll be my valentine!  

In the spirit of the day and love and considering I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, I’m sharing today one of my favorite songs ever: You Are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne. This song will be making an appearance at our wedding as the song that Knight and I walk down the aisle to as husband and wife after the ceremony. (I think we’ll be starting around the 50 second mark.)

 

 

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Book Review: The Silent Oligarch

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Happy Monday, blog friends! Another Monday, another book review for The Silent Oligarch, by Chris Morgan Jones.

About the book, directly from the book cover:

A London intelligence agent pursues a money launderer to expose the dealings of a shadowy Russian oligarch.

….

Deep in the Russian Ministry of Natural Resources sits a nondescript bureaucrat named Konstantin Malin. He draws a nominal government salary but from his shabby office controls half the nation’s oil industry, making him one of the most wealthy and feared men in Russia. His public face is Richard Lock, a hapless money launderer bound to Malin by marriage, complacency, and greed. Lock takes the proceeds of his master’s corruption, washes them abroad, and invests them back in Russia in a secret business empire. He knows little about Malin’s true affairs, but still he knows too much.

Benjamin Webster is an investigator at a London corporate intelligence firm. … Hired to ruin Malin, Webster comes to realize that this shadowy figure might have ordered her gruesome death, and that this case may deliver the justice he has been seeking for a decade.

As Webster peels back the layers of Malin’s shell companies and criminal networks, Lock’s colleagues begin dying mysteriously, police around the world start to investigate, and Malin begins to question his trust in his increasingly exposed frontman. Suddenly Lock is running for his life- though from Malin or Webster, the law or his own past, he couldn’t say.

I think the best way to describe this book: Mission Impossible meets Bourne Supremacy meets FBI thriller, only all taking place in Europe. At the outset of the book there is a lot of financial and political discussion which is a bit hard to follow (likely because I’m not an expert on the financial world) but once you get through the first 75 pages, the book takes off. I found I was no longer reading just to review the book but to actually see what happens to Lock, Malin and Webster. The characters have the makings of movie characters; I wouldn’t be surprised if a variation of this book is picked for a movie at some point because it has that movie quality. I’m thinking maybe a British Matt Damon for the role of Webster.

Jones does a good job with suspense and making the reader’s palms sweat and has successfully created a web of a plot that will keep you guessing up until the very last page. There are twists and turns, betrayals and friendships, love and loss, and interesting look into the corruption of the international business world and that of the spies who try to expose the flawed business practices.

If you like mystery and intrigue combined with the appropriate amount of love, politics and business, pick this book up. I would definitely recommend it for the male reader in your life, especially if they enjoyed the Bourne series.

Question of the day: Am I the only who pictures actors/actresses that I’d cast to play the characters in the books I’m reading?

 

Wine and Love v44

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The Reasons I’m drinking wine this week:

* I have some but they aren’t things I can discuss on the blog yet. Soon, I hope. (Nothing earth shattering just stuff that will be a relief to talk about!)

* The antibiotics that I’m on for what seems like forever leave me uber thirsty all of the time. And give me headaches. I feel like a fish since I’m drinking so much water.

* Our cable/internet/phone went down about 10 times in the first two hours of the Super Bowl. I had a very angry and unhappy fiancé and I missed a lot of the commercials. Thank goodness for YouTube.

The Reasons I’m loving life this week:

* We finally figured out why Knight was snoring at night. I know this sounds silly but as the person in the relationship who stays up late to read, falling asleep next to a snoring fiancé? Really difficult. It all had to do with the way he was holding his pillow. He switched it up and now there is NO snoring. Talk about blissful and quiet sleep!

* Parenthood was new on Tuesday. Mizzou beat KU last weekend. There were some funny Super Bowl Commercials. Simple? Maybe, but sometimes good stuff happening/on tv makes me happy.

* There’s a slight chance that we’ll be headed to Florida for a few days in April. If we can make it happen I’d be ecstatic as it means a chance to see family and hopefully some friends, not to mention the whole sun/palm tree thing.

* I actually printed photos the other day. I have a huge stack of them just waiting to be sent to friends and family all over the place. I’m really looking forward to writing notes and popping them in the mail, not to mention I can update our fridge with new pictures and work on filling up our photo album. (I wonder if I’m the only person who prints pictures?)

*Chatting and catching up with friends both near and wide lately. Makes my heart happy.

* It seems like maybe, just maybe, our internet/phone/cable situation is finally fixed. (Except for the fact that I probably just jinxed it.)

What’s on your Wine & Love list this week? If you’re playing along this week don’t forget to link up below!

 

 

 

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Wednesday Tidbits

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* When I moved to the “great north” I was really looking forward to winter. After hearing about really cold temperatures, blizzards, snow on the ground for months and etc., I kind of wanted to live it. Now that I’m here though? I’m told we are having one of the most mild winters in a really long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great but I really wanted to sit by the window like a little kid and watch snow fall for hours, be able to go skiing in real snow, and make a few snow angels. So far it’s not happened. I don’t know if it will.

* This past Sunday Jolie had her first playdate at our house (she’s gone to other playdates but this was her first one that she was hosting!) and that was all that we talked about starting on Friday night. Her friend was the cutest, most shy person I have ever met. Perhaps its the fact that night is 6 ft 5 and has a beard but I’m telling you if he was in the room she didn’t speak. It was until he left to run a few errands that she started to chat. Anyway, the play date went well: lots of playing dress-up, running around the house with music blaring and of course a healthy dose of coloring while watching Tangled (which is called “Rapunzel” in our house). And then suddenly the afternoon got quiet and Jolie’s friend looked terrified to be at our house. Knight was around so I asked her what was up and with tears in her eyes she said she was ready to go home. After her mom came to get her Jolie was crushed. She confessed she doesn’t feel like she has a lot of friends and didn’t understand why her friend wanted to go home (we found out on Monday that her friend has strep, so that explains it). We sat on Jolie’s bed, Indian-style and talked it out. How to make friends. How to keep the ones you have. How some kids Jolie’s age are shy and not quiet as outgoing as Jolie is. How it will be ok and that we’ll keep scheduling play dates for her when it’s our weekends. At that moment I felt like a mom; it was kind of awesome. We ended the conversation with high-fives, pinky swears and hugs.

* The Night Circus. I gobbled this book up. I’m definitely going to have to re-read it because there is just so much going on, to take in, to understand but I think this book may be at the top of my favorite books in 2012 even though it’s early in the year. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they make this into a movie but I also kind of hope they don’t because I have no idea how they could do it justice. So beautifully written. If you are looking for a good/different/new book, pick this up!

* We watched Midnight in Paris last weekend. I wasn’t sure if Knight would like it or not but turns out he loved it much to my relief. We talked about it all Saturday night and a bunch on Sunday. What era would we want to visit? Who would we hope to see? The movie was so well done from start to finish, music, dialogue, clothing, filming, all of it. Another job well done by Woody Allen. I think this may be one of those “must own” movies.

* I’m addicted, again, to Just Dance, this time the third one. I got it for Christmas and I love the workout mode, the fact that I can unlock badges and songs, and the plethora of dances I can practice. Fun and a good cardio workout = perfect combo.

Any tidbits you want to share this week? Good books/movies/workouts that you’re addicted to these days?

I Heard ‘Em Say v5

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The kidlets have been cracking me us up lately both with word choice, word pronunciation and the silly things they love to say. Here’s the shortlist of some of my favs these days. If you’re in need of more smiles today, check out previous installments of the things the kidlets say here.

From Belle, aged 3 years and two months

* “Daddy & Nora, I need my Ariel blanklet please.” (Yes, that typo is intentional. She says blanklet rather than blanket. It’s adorable every.single.time.)

* “Look! She turned into a humit!” (On Ariel switching from a mermaid to a human. Also, can you tell what our favorite movie is these days?)

* “Daddy, I don’t want you to grow any more of a beard on your chest, k?” (She says this while pointing to her chin. Suddenly she doesn’t like Knight’s beard it seems.)

* “Where is my ‘wetshirt?” (According to Belle, a sweatshirt is a ‘wetshirt. It’s really funny when she actually has spilled something on her sweatshirt so to us it has a different meaning.)

* “Hey! I found the moon where Jesus lives!” (The moon was out during the day this past weekend and apparently she’s decided that moon is where he lives.)

From Jolie, aged five 1/2 years

* “Just so you guys know, when my friend gets here? We are going to be doing the singing. Because we really like the singing. I hope that’s ok.” (She had her first play date yesterday; more on that later. There was sadly none of “the singing.” )

* “Nora, when my sister does that she gives me lots of heart attacks. Please make her stop.” (Said when her sister was singing during dinner; she changed her wording to something other than heart attack once I explained what one was.)

(Not much from her these days as she’s more focused on playing dress up and practicing reading. When she’s not doing that she’s drawing cards, notes and taking life pretty seriously.)

Have you heard/overheard anything funny lately?