Walking With Nora

I’ll be back with full recap posts, tribute posts and more in the next few days, but for now, I’m joining the Ten on Tuesday bandwagon for the first time.

1. Pretend it’s Monday morning–take us through a day in the life of you.
Hit the snooze button a few times, get up no later than 6:30. Ready for work and out the door no later than 7:30. Work from 8-5. Go home, study, exercise, read, sleep. My Monday’s are awfully dull, huh?

2. What’s your favorite reality tv show?
I’m going old school on this and saying the Real World, anything prior to the Chicago group which I believe was in 2001. I can’t think of a current reality tv show that I must watch.

3. What motto do you live by?
“Let go, let flow.” I’m still working on the let go, let flow aspect of my life in certain ways, but I’m getting there. (I can’t take credit for this phrase, I picked it up in a movie that I really enjoyed, Something New.)

4. If you knew could you try anything and not fail, what dream would you attempt?
Oo, this is a tough one. Probably be a professional blogger of sorts. Or start a non-profit and make it global. In all honesty, I think I’d move to Florida, start a wedding planning company and/or join a current one, and go from there.
5. What was your first job?
My very first job ever was a mother’s helper (aka supervised baby-sitting if you will). I was 10 or 11 when I started doing that.

6. What is your current job?
I work for a small company so I have many roles: event manager, client relations, contract relations, marketing manager, vendor relations, and as my dad says, I’m his “exit strategy,” so I’m more or less being groomed for the future as well.

7. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name (and you cannot pick the one you already have)?
Something Italian; Abri or Sophia. Or maybe Grazia.

8. What musical instruments can you play?
Can and could are two different things but with a little work I could probably get up to speed on the flute and piccolo again (I played them in middle & high school) and I’d love to get back into playing the piano.

9. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive.
I don’t think I’d want to forget because then you lose a part of who you are and the path that brought you to where you currently stand.

10. What is one food you’d never want to taste again?
Before I was diagnosed with my crazy allergies I ate fried conch. So disgusting. Definitely could have done without that rubber taste in my mouth.

Your turn to answer any or all of the questions below, or ask me for more clarification on any of my answers!

It’s been a slower month in the obsession-arena of my life; I attribute most of this to the fact that I spent two weeks of the month relaxing in between classes.

Here’s the short list for this month:

* Mineral Foundation. I know I’m incredibly late to jump on this bandwagon but I just bought some Mineral Foundation and I love it. I have a more finished look and it lasts all day. In short, I feel more like a grown-up woman when I wear it.

* 10K Training. I’m on my fourth week of training and though I had to take a few days off due to that pesky sickness last week, so far, so good. My knees are doing well but maybe that’s because I’m babying them a little bit: lots of stretching and ice after runs. It feels so great to be back at the gym six days a week, working towards a goal and seeing positive changes in my body. I forgot how addictive it is.

* Leverage. As in, the TV show. I caught a few episodes over year ago and just now decided to Netflix them. I never get bored with the plot, one of the cast members is particularly easy on the eyes and it’s just kind of fun. And while we are on the subject of TV, I can’t forget Drop Dead Diva, Rescue Me (which I’m wildly behind on), and True Blood. I may have a slight summer-tv addiction. Just a little one…

* Walks with Jack. In an effort to help him lose weight and also to spend quality time with my furry best friend, we have been going on more walks. The weather has been cooler the last week, Jack is so happy to be outside, and listening to the quiet stillness of the neighborhood is relaxing.

That’s all I have this month! Anything that you couldn’t get enough of this past month? Anything that I must try out?

Ok, well if you know me at all you’ll know that I’ve never been fishing in my life. But I will be out of touch for the next few days as I’m going to meet Lisa, and catch up with these two dollfaces as well. Add to that my parents’ 30th Wedding Anniversary and my brother’s 22nd birthday celebrations next week I’m sure I’ll have fun stories, photos and posts to come!

You can find me over at Becky’s today, talking about my recent infatuation with Whole Foods (it’s the little things, people). If you don’t read Becky’s blog well, you should. She’s pretty amazing.

I leave you with one of my favorite, happy, makes-you-want-to-hug-someone DMB songs and I’ll see you next week!

Earlier this week I watched a movie called TiMER. I won’t do a great job of explaining the movie, but think of a romantic drama peppered with a little bit of comedy and a just a titch of Sci-Fi and honestly? This movie rocks. It’s about a world where people have the ability to know the exact day they will meet their soulmates aka “the one.” There is a thing called a “TiMER” that you can have implanted into your wrist, and assuming that your “the one” has a “TiMER” too, your TiMER will start counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until you meet him/her. And when you lock eyes with that person? Your TiMER’s will beep simultaneously. (This isn’t giving plot away, just the general frame of the movie.)

As a result of the TiMER there are people who kind of wait for their soulmates, idly living their lives, refusing to date anyone unless it’s their “one.” There are also people in this movie who refuse to get TiMER’s because they believe that just knowing and feeling that they love someone is enough; they don’t need or want the TiMER to predict their love life, the exact moment it happens.

This was an independent film, done really well, and of course it set my brain in motion. (And if you haven’t seen it, do! It’s only 90 minutes and well worth it. And no, TiMER didn’t pay me to promote their film in anyway shape or form.)

Would I want to know the exact date that I will meet my supposed soulmate? Do I even believe in the idea of “the one?” Isn’t it possible that there are mutliple “the ones?” Guys that you are supposed to date in high school, college, your young adult life, all who are “the one,” for that particular time in your life? Is there anyone person that I’m 100% destined to spend the rest of my life with?

Image via Wikipedia

The old Nora thought that there was no question: Yes, of course there was just *one* guy meant for me. And then reality set in. Let’s say I never leave STL. Does this mean that my “one” has to move to STL for me to meet him, but if he doesn’t, that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life? Or what if my one is here in STL and then I move away; what happens then? Or what if I meet him, and then there’s some crazy freak accident or natural disaster and we get separated or lost? Am I just doomed for the rest of my life to be single?

It’s hard for me to swallow the concept that there is just one person for me; it seems a little defeatist because this is a big world and even though I travel, go out, try new things, there is certainly no guarantee I’d meet “him,” and that is a little bit sad to me. I like to think that you can have more than one Mr. Right, maybe depending on where you are in your life, maybe depending on where you are headed. Maybe there is only one soulmate for me, but maybe there are several guys out there that I could truly love and live “happily ever after,” with. I guess I just like to be hopeful and think positively that no matter what life decisions I make, I’ll wind up meeting Mr. Right and to believe that I can’t help but think there must be multiple options out there for me.

I also don’t think that I’d really want to know the exact day I’m going to meet Mr. Right/Mr. Soulmate. As great as it would be to have a crystal ball and just know who he is and that everything will turn out ok, I think I’d miss out on a lot of life living, a lot of experiences that continue to shape the woman that I am. I know myself well enough to know that if I was told that on October 15, 2012 I will meet Mr. Right, I wouldn’t be as open to dating (knowing that they were all doomed relationships), that I’d inadvertently kind of wait around for Mr. Right to show up on October 15th, 2012. Lord knows I’d wear a killer outfit that day though. But what if the TiMER was wrong or was some crazy conspiracy plot to get us to think we were meeting Mr. Right? (I mean, it wouldn’t be that hard to hack/program these things if you really wanted to…)

Then I started to go back and forth with myself. Wouldn’t it be kind of resassuring to have this “TiMER” tell you that you are dating the guy you are supposed to be with? It would save so much time and heartache (if you’ve read this blog for awhile, you know I’ve lost time and definitely experienced heartache though it has made me who I am today…), allow you to move on to the next one (or not). Wouldn’t it be great to have a guarantee that you’re just meant to be with this person? But is there really such thing as a guarantee? (I’m inclined to say no, though it would be nice.)  Would I be the girl who refuses to get  a TiMER or gets one and has it removed because she just doesn’t care and would rather live her life via free will instead of a device telling me who I will love and when?

Free-spirited Nora vs. Planner Nora are still fighting this one out (although right now I’m leaning towards living my life without knowing and putting my blind faith in fate bringing us together because it seems more natural and a little bit more “me”) but tell me, if such a thing as the “TiMER” existed would you get one? Do you believe in soulmates, the idea of “the one,” or do you think their could be multiple soulmates and “the one”?

View all previous installments in this series here.

* I like to watch iCarly. And Victorious. And okay, maybe Big Time Rush. Not all the time, not every day, just when they happen to be on Nickelodeon. (I used to be a nanny so I’m kind of used to the cheesiness that is Nickolodeon TV shows. That will be the excuse for this one…)

* I have not seen Labyrinth or The Goonies.

* My blog-writing-motivation has been uncharacteristically low lately (although now that I say that I’m sure 100 ideas will pop into my head) and I feel rather bad about it. This also applies to blog reading and commenting as of late.

* For awhile I was really good at checking my voicemail on my cell phone but in the last few weeks I’ve started ignoring it again. I dislike the phone tree menu I have to go through in order to get to my messages and how painfully slow the whole system is.

* I think I’m the worst when it comes to applying self-tanner. I always wind up streak-y despite my best efforts.

* There are days where I wonder why in the world I put myself through the last few years of graduate school; some days it feels hardly worth it but I hope I feel differently when I receive  the diploma.

* I keep a stash of Junior Mints in my top dresser drawer for emergency sweet tooth cravings. Fortunately I tend to forget they are there most days.

* On Sunday night I mentally map out which outfits I’m going to wear which day of the week. It makes getting up early a little bit easier for me.

* I have more celebrity crushes than real-life crushes.

Dear Readers,

Thank you for all your thoughtful comments on my post about body image last week; many of you were right, it was hard for me to share my thoughts, but I’m glad I did. Once again you have reminded me why I joined and stick with the blogging community.

Love always,
Nora

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Attn: Cough

Please go away. You’re interrupting my sleep, my conversations, my relaxation. I really hope the doctor can give me something to get rid of this little bug, whatever it is.

With no affection whatsoever,
Little Miss Coughs a lot

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Dear Christian Kane (pictured below),

Marry me?

Your new and biggest fan,

Nora

Image by RavenU via Flickr

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To: The Cast of “Friends”
From: A Forever Fan

All these years later and you’re still there for me, making me laugh, helping me to forget the fact that I’m a under the weather and missing a friends bachelorette party. When my grad school class is over I think I’ll zone out and have a Friends marathon one weekend, just because.

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Attn: Nora’s Knees
From: The Girl who wants to accomplish a 30 Before 30 Goal

So we are two weeks into 10k Training and all is going well so far; let’s keep it up, shall we? I’ve been treating you with extra TLC so I’d appreciate it if you could stick with me for the next 7 or 8 weeks. I’ll keep doing my physical therapy exercises if you stay strong. Deal? Deal.

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Dear Monday,

Please be kind, ok? 

Hopefully Yours,
Nora

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Any letters you’d like to write today?

I think most of you know that I decided to tackle the VEDA challenge this month. It has done so much for me: pushed me out of my comfort zone, expanded my circle of friends, opened my eyes. If you don’t watch any of the other videos this month, I encourage you to watch the Day 17 Videos from all the participants.

Yesterday’s topic was Self Image/Body Image.

Have you ever tried to talk about this on camera before? Let me be one of the first to tell you that it’s not easy. (See for yourself.) After watching some of the most beautiful and inspiring videos, I realized that there was a lot that I didn’t say because I was scared to share it but that’s just plain silly. So, here it goes…

… my grandmother struggled with obesity for the last 15 years of her life. She couldn’t walk. She had four quadruple bypass surgeries. I watched my grandmother suffer and my family struggle with how to help. I know that there are genetic tendencies when it comes to obesity and heart disease; I don’t want that for myself, I don’t want my family to have to watch and go through that. Sometimes, I’m a little manic about my health, the food I put into my body, the way that I look. It all stems from fear.

… in high school I never, ever thought about what I looked like in a bathing suit, my favorite pair of jeans, in my prom dress. I didnt’t care. I rarely worked out. Then college happened and it was like a whirlwind of perceptions, suggestions, questioning my beliefs. Rather than gain the freshman 15, I lost 15. It wasn’t healthy-looking at all. Ever since then I’ve gone back and forth between a healthful lifestyle a borderline not so healthful one. Body dysmorphic disorder? Yeah, I’ve got that. (I imagine a lot of people do.)

… I mentioned in my video that after my first true love ended (we were together for two years) I had a hard time believing that I was beautiful or could be beautiful. He wasn’t the only one to tell me I was beautiful on a regular basis but then cheat on me with someone else: someone skinnier, someone (who I perceived) to be prettier. It’s happened to me a handful of other times. Every single time I questioned the truth. As a result, I stink at accepting compliments, and sometimes at finding things to enjoy and love about myself. At trusting and believing what men say to me.  Amazing how self-image and body-image can affect multiple areas of one’s life.

… I beat myself up over my weight. Often. It’s hard to remind yourself that it’s just a number.

… I know that I don’t have to be 100% healthy 100% of the time. That’s (literally thanks to the plethora of allergies that plague me) not feasible for me, but I can do my best as often as I can and I can learn to be okay with that. I can also choose to give myself a break now and then because life is supposed to be fun. It’s not supposed to be about comparing yourself to this girl or that girl, keeping up with the “Joneses,” trying to squeeze into a size 4. It’s not supposed to be about wearing clothes so that someone compliments you; you should wear them because you like them, because you want to.

… I am learning that what I think is all that matters. I’m the one that has to live with me, who has to eat, sleep and breathe with me. (Jack does to but he loves me no matter what since I’m the keeper of the dog-food.) I don’t have to wear stunning outfits everyday, do my hair in the latest fashions. No one will judge me if I have roots and gray hairs, or if they do? F*&k them. I am here to live my life for me, not for them. I can do things to make myself feel confident and that’s what I should focus on. This train of thought has allowed me to wear sweats in public on a Saturday morning without make-up. It’s allowed me to embrace my inner hippie who would gladly spend her life listening to DMB and dancing under the stars each evening. I’m sure I’ll still care sometimes what others think, about how I look, about my health and my size. I’m working on it. After all, aren’t we always a work in progress?

Any feelings/thoughts/comments you’d like to make on body & self image?

I know that we are only in the middle of August.

I know that by December 1st I’ll be longing for the refreshing breezes of spring and long summer nights but for now? I’m ready for jeans and boots. Fluffy sweaters. Tailgating at football games. Oversized sweatshirts and thick (totally unsexy) socks. Falling leaves. Sleeping with the windows open. Curling up with a hot cup of tea and a good book.

On Monday eve I took Jack for our evening walk and there was a scent of fall in the air; you know the one. It signals that cooler days are ahead, that the leaves will change colors in the not too distant future, that it will be time for days of baking, board games, and chatting with friends and family around bonfires. It means that the fall festivals begin, pumpkin patches open up, trips are made to wineries before they close up shop for the winter. Saturday mornings are for garage sales, Saturday afternoons for Sex & The City Marathons, catching up books, blogs, handwritten notes (moreso than in the summer of course).

It’s been a long, hot, sticky summer and I am ready for the next phase and all that it will bring with it (graduation, weddings, tucking in for the winter).

When I start to feel fall-ish, I always watch my all-time favorite Sex and the City episode, one of the few in which they acknowledge a change in season.

… going to see the play “Promises, Promises,” with your 86 year-old Grandmother seems like a good idea when you don’t know the plot. But when it’s about Mad Men-esque antics (aka lots of sexual content and notions) it’s a little bit awkward.

… eating at Panera three times in one week is acceptable, especially when you are on the run and refuse to go through a drive-through fast food place.

… running at the track just before dark is the best idea you had all week because the sprinklers are on, ensuring a lovely mist/spray every lap.

… having the intent to read, vlog, and send out cards to your friends is almost as good as actually doing those things… almost.

… don’t eat an oatmeal raisin cookie because apparently you’re allergic to them now. Thank goodness for Benadryl.

… make sure to indulge in several phone calls with close friends and family, one of which may involve plotting a trip to Florida for a cousin reunion. Ignore the fact you promised yourself no more travel this year; you can’t pass up a cousin reunion.

… wearing make-up to work after a long week and little sleep is purely optional. And a little bit freeing.

… it never gets easier to say goodbye to a good friend.

… waking up to Jack’s wagging tail brushing up against your leg is one of the most pleasant ways to wake up.

Any lessons you learned this week that you’d like to share?

First things first! The Winner of the All Natural Insect Repellent goes to Becky from Love Everyday Life! Thanks to random.org for generating a random number for me, that number being commenter Number Eight. Thanks to everyone who entered and be on the lookout for another giveway in October.

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I’ve done it again.

I’ve totally overbooked myself. Between my final upcoming graduate school class, starting to train for a 10k, working more hours in the office, catching up with friends and family, devoting time to this little blog and all the fabulous friends I’ve met through it, VEDA, book clubs, being a good dog mama, and attempting to be good to myself, life is more than a little hectic. Add to that Round 10,000 of weddings starting in a few weeks and I’m just a tad bit stressed. Let’s not even add the fact that people think I should be dating (as if I have time and even if I did focusing on being me is exactly where I need to be) and ask me why I’m not married with two kids (because evidently that’s what I’m supposed to do).**

I know that I do this to myself. I’m a people pleaser; my life takes a backseat more often than not and I know that only I can control it. But I struggle with finding the balance between living my life for me and living my life for everyone else. I love to tackle new challenges but sometimes those challenges start owning my life when in fact, it should be the other way around.

There are days where I feel like I’m holding my breath… waiting. Waiting for October 15th when I’ll be free of school forever. Waiting for early 2011 when I’ll hopefully be fortunate enough to buy my own place and I can live along again. Waiting for a free weekend to catch up on rest, reading, quality time with the couch and Jack (as he’s severely lacking Dog Mama Cuddles right now).

It’s taking its toll on me, all this waiting and breath holding. I’m not sleeping well. I’m constantly on edge. I don’t remember the meaning of the word “relax.”

I know there is no point in wishing my life away, hoping for things to settle down because that’s not what life is all about. It’s about living in the here and now which I’ve been striving to do this summer amidst the chaos. It’s about being thankful for what you have; rather than curse my planner for being overly full I should be thankful for the people who call me their friends and the family who wants to see me. I should be glad that I’m able to go to graduate school and finally finish my degree two years later. And I am thankful, trust me.

Sometimes though I wish I could just shut the world out for a few days. Make all the noise in my head stop (I think too much; it’s like Times Square in my head somedays with all the thoughts zooming around) and just breathe.

While I’m teaching myself to just breathe again, I’ll be focusing on living in the here and now (not wishing my life away), paring down my schedule (by saying no to things I really don’t want to do), opening up some days on my calendar (to focus on things I do love) and allowing myself to relax.

What are your cures for an overbooked and frazzled schedule?

** Seriously, I’ve had several “Friends” ask me why I’m not married already which is both salt in the wound and frustrating! Yes, I want to get there someday but right now I need to continue to focus on me. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship/the dating scene right now.