Monthly Archives: January 2010

Snapshot

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Yesterday I read Nilsa’s post on how we define ourselves and of course, my brain was off and running (which isn’t uncommon when I read her blog). While I can’t define myself as simply as she can, this what I came up with:

I am quick to love, but can be  slow to forgive.

I am that girl who will give, give, give and then give some more, even if it means leaving little left for herself. I’ve tried to “fix,” this as sometimes I wind up a burnt out mess, but I can’t right it.

I am the one who always has a shoulder to lean on, even nine years after I received this “award,” in high school. Complete strangers open up to me.

I am a lover of all animals, big or small. I’d adopt every single stray dog if I could (I’m allergic to cats otherwise they’d be on the list too.)

On a Saturday morning, if I have nothing else to do, I’m sleeping in. You can count on that.

I’m addicted to books, shoes, purses and Victoria’s Secret.

Some days I take on all the problems of the world and it really drags me down. I want to be that person who can wave a wand or implement policy and fix everything. No hunger, suffering, disease, conflict, hatred. I’m sure it sounds all idealistic and totally unreal but when other people hurt, I hurt.

I am that girl who will be at your house with a pint of ice cream if you’re going through a break-up, standing next to you holding your bouquet while you say your vows, buying lots of cute baby things when you’re expecting, and cheering for you from the sidelines the rest of the time.

I am that girl who doesn’t like to be crossed; I tend to live by the “three strikes,” and you’re out rule and sometimes I wish I didn’t even allow that many. Cross me three times and, well, that’s it.

I am learning to be in the here and now for both myself and those around me but I am always wishing, hoping and dreaming.

I am starting to resist technology: I don’t check voicemail for days on end, ignore Facebook and  lately don’t bother checking my email for days at a time.

I beat myself up over the silliest of things; I’m slowly learning to let that go.

I’m constantly striving to improve myself, my situation, my life and hopefully in the process will give back in some way.

I’m a bit of a hippie. (She hides underneath the professional exterior.)

As of learned over the last few months, I am who I need to be and right where I need to be, even if I struggle with that sometimes.

The Weekend of Smiles

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The second weekend in 2010 found me…

… spending Friday night with my brother, clinging to last minute shreds of brother/sister bonding before he left for a new semester at college.

… devouring a chicken quesadilla at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants while debating with my brother where I see myself in one, five and ten years. (Answer: It’s all fuzzy, but all hopeful.)

… running through the Steak n’ Shake drive through to grab a few milkshakes to take home to the parents and laughing at the fact that it was about -2 F outside while we were ordering ice cream.

… playing Apples to Apples next to the fire with the whole family.

… de-Christmasing the house with Darling, an event that took much longer than expected.

… deciding to run a 10 mile race over Memorial Day weekend in Chicago thanks to some encouragement from one of my favorite bloggers friends. 

… hauling my butt to the gym to start getting my base miles up and feeling incredibly glad that I could run two miles with minmal effort considering that I’ve not been treadmill running in awhile.

… laughing, hard, at and with Eddie Izzard on Saturday night. Live comedy makes me happy and I have an even bigger celebrity crush on him, cross-dresser or not.

… finishing my first book of 2010 and starting another one. Neither is very deep but I have a few “tough” ones up next.

… rising early on Sunday morning to say bye to my brother and disguising the tears that started to fall when he left by looking busy moving Christmas boxes to the basement.

… enjoying an impromptu nap on the couch with Jack at my feet, “Something’s Gotta Give,” on tv and quiet in the rest of the house.

… loving “Sherlock Holmes,” at the movies and subsequent Sunday night dinner.

… cracking up at Jack as he fell in love with his new toy that my parents got him: a stuffed duck that honks. He slept with it right next to his mouth all night.

… resolving to conquer the busy work week ahead of me no matter what.

… jealous of all those people on House Hunters International on HGTV but it’s pushed me to decide that I will be going to France & Italy in 2011.

… ignoring my google reader and gmail account for just another day.

… smiling. A lot. Things are good.

Chocolat & a Journal: A Giveaway

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Two years ago after spending my New Year’s Eve in a college best friend’s wedding, I came home to emails from a guy I briefly dated shortly after I first started blogging apologizing for not being “the man for me,” and sorry that he kissed like a lizard. (No, really he did. Darting tongue combined with licking my chin in all seriousness. Great guy, not so great kisser.) I never used his name, my location or any identifying factors but somehow he managed to find my blog on Blogger. (And yes, I know that posting things on the internet means that someone might find it  but I have no idea at all how in the world he found my blog.)

At once I was startled, embarassed but above all, it was time for a move. I deleted the old blog with all it’s charming dating stories and made the switch to WordPress. It’s been a lovely two years because I embraced and joined the community accepting it for all that it is and making friends across the globe.

As a thank you to all my loyal readers, I’m celebrating with two giveaways!

Giveaway #1: A book, a movie and chocolate. To be exact: Chocolat by Joanne Harris, Chocolat the movie with the smoldering Johnny Depp and a Cadbury chocolate bar.

Giveway # 2: An artisan journal,  a set of my favorite Thank You notes and  G2 pens (my favorite ones ever)

Three ways to enter:

* Leave a comment telling me why you started blogging, why you love (or hate) Johnny Depp, or what your favorite writing utensil is.
* Blog about this giveaway & leave a comment letting me know you did.
* Tweet about this giveaway & leave a comment with a link to the tweet.

Giveaway is open to anyone, regardless of location. If the winner of Giveaway #1 happens to be from outside the U.S. I will make every effort to but the correctly zoned DVD or substitute the DVD for something different.

Contest ends on Thursday, January 14th at midnight. Winners will be chosen by the Random Generator and will be posted on Monday, January 18th.

Good luck and thanks for your loyal readership.

** I was not approached by any authors, individuals or companies with regards to this giveaway. These products were chosen by my own accord and I’m not being reimbursed or compensated in anyway. If Johnny Depp ever contacts me and asks me to promote one of his movies I’ll probably be too star-stricken to talk or blog for at least two weeks. That or I’d be making out with him somewhere.

The Things we Forget

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When I first read this post from Just a Titch, I immediately wanted to write a post just like this. (And truthfully most of her posts move me and inspire me because she’s a gifted and talented writer. You’d never guess she was “new” to blogging.)

So I started thinking about what in the heck happened in the last decade and honestly there were a few years where I kind of blanked.

And just as quickly as I had no idea what to write about, a flood of random memories came rushing back to me…

Like how in the year 2000 I had my first real boyfriend and we made out for hours and hours on end. Which also makes me miss  making out. It’s very underrated if you ask me.

Or how in 2001 I managed to have an emergency appendectomy and miss my senior spring break and instead spent it laid up on the couch with pain meds and chick flicks. Or about the time I nearly got into a fight at my high school Prom (not instigated by me), I graduated high school and three months later started college 120 miles away from my parents. I considered leaving school and joining the army. I battled with body image and weight loss thanks to the break-up with the high school boyfriend. This was also the first year I had a beer, I kissed a guy named Cricket, and did 13 shots of Captain Morgan.

In 2002, I danced on a bar. Yes, I was that girl. And yes, I blame the shots. I also quickly realized that working in a restaurant was not a good part-time job for a college kid, or at least this particular restaurant and left six months later. I also learned the art of tailgating at football games, mastered the art of dating, the joys of studying in our fabulous campus library and fell in love with my independence.

2003 was a bit of a blur. I gave up drinking for Lent and quickly became known as Nurse Nora because the very first day of Lent one of my dormmates slipped and sprained her ankle at a party while drinking so to the hospital we went. That same night my roommate came home at 2 am and passed out in the hallway, half-naked. It was a long 40 days but totally worth it. I met my college boyfriend, a sweet, quiet country boy who showed me nothing but kindness for almost two years.

Darling and I took my Gram to England for her 80th birthday in May 2004.I turned 21 and managed 14 shots in one night. I adopted Jack, the best dog and cannine love of my life. Six months later I graduated from college, early and with honors, prepared to start my life as an adult. I moved back to StL ready for the grand adventure. College boyfriend and I broke up but it was one of those “good,” break-ups.

March 2005 I started working at the company I’m with now. (I can’t believe it’s been almost five years.) I didn’t want to admit that I was an adult and stayed out until 1 am even on the weekdays yet was thrilled to have a regular paycheck. I dated an Australian. I randomly met and dated another country boy. I moved out of my parents house and rented my own apartment. I had sinus surgery.This was the year I became responsible. It was also the year of the worst New Year’s Eve ever which is a shame because I loved that outfit but it was poisoned by the evening’s events.  

I spent the first half of 2006 in a fog, figuring out who I was, learning how to be truly independent, finding my inner strength. I dabbled in online dating and amassed a ton of batshit crazy stories. (Ask me about it sometime, I promise they are pretty darn incredible.) I was a Maid of Honor for the first time. I went to the gym six days a week. I flew to Florida to visit my best childhood friend that I hadn’t seen in 13 years.

2007 was a slew of bridesmaid dresses, champagne, of  learning how to live with a boy who isn’t family or your boyfriend, had my tonsils removed, flew to St. Thomas to be in my Florida best friend’s wedding and went on even more crazy dates. I found out that I have about 25 different food allergies and my eating habits changed drastically. My brother graduated high school and I couldn’t have been more proud. Somewhere in there I started grad school.

2008 was the year I realized that no matter who or what else is in my life, I live for me. I got healthier: hired a personal trainer, learned how to eat healthfully despite the allergies and really fell in love with myself. A few months later, I met Irish. It was a whirlwind few months, we went to Canada, fell in love and I had to learn how to be a couple again. I took two semesters off from grad school to enjoy my life, was a bridesmaid for two of my very best friends and reveled in sheer joy 99.9% of the time.

2009: Love. Vegas. School. Moving. Family. Heartache. Adjustment. Growth. Introspection. Running. Independence. Loving myself again. Inner peace.

I wouldn’t trade the events of the last ten years for anything. I hope I can say that in the next ten.

Writing Prompts

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My mom, Darling, has always been a writer. It’s in her heart. In her spirit. Just something she does.

For years and years my mom lead a Monday Night Writer’s Workshop. Ladies came over bearing coffee and snacks, notepads and pens, with their little quirks and stories, bursting at the seams to be creative. During the two hours they were at our house, Darling would give them writing exercises and activities to stimulate their minds and help further their novels, poetry books or whatever they were working on.

Occasionally the group would ask me to join them and to this day I can recall the pride and nervousness I felt when I pulled up a chair and sat next to these ladies, some mothers, some grandmothers, others single free spirits. I knew that my middle school (or high school, depending on when this was) writing couldn’t quite keep up or be on par with the years of experience these ladies had. But I tried. I poured my heart on paper trying to “show not tell,” and attempting to come up with poetry that didn’t always rhyme but had amazing imagery.

A few times I chose to share my stories with the group: a piece about my hairy English teacher who had a passion for all things sci-fi; cheesy love poems about the boy next door; memories about raising our dogs from puppyhood. The ladies were always nice and found something positive to say about my writing even if they found it to be complete rubbish.

The women would leave by 10ish scattering a slew of papers for my mom to “look at,” and give editorial advice on because, she is after all, a true writer, freelancing for magazines and newspapers, trade journals and short stories. Lipstick stained coffee cups littered the table and an odd scent of perfume hung in the air.

Eventually the writer’s workshop died out as the ladies expressed themselves in other ways and my mom branched out professionally but she’s always encouraged me to write. I receive a journal each birthday or Christmas because you can never have enough. When I was going through a particularly craptastic time in my life four years ago it was Darling who encouraged me to blog, to get it out there, to connect with others. 

As always, Darling was right.

Not only did the craptastic time pass, I fell in love with blogging. I spent two years with Blogger before switching to WordPress (another story for another time).

Imagine that if I hadn’t listened to Darling’s writing prompt, I’d never have experienced this community, these friends, this part of my life that is so near and dear to me.

(Stay tuned! Blogoversary Giveway Details will be posted this Friday in honor of my two years at this little corner of the internet.)

What’s one suggestion/tidbit of advice your mom or influential female in your life gave you that greatly impacted your life?

2010: Bring It

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2010.

I honestly can’t believe that Christmas and New Years have come and gone. It seems like just yesterday I was making my Christmas list, wrapping presents, soaking up the joy in watching my family members open their presents and of course, basking in my week long vacation.

My vacation, in a word: relaxing. In several words: disconnecting from all things technological and social, reconnecting with my family and myself, reading, and resolving for the new year.

Since it’s true that we are more accountable if we write down our resolutions:

* Read three books a month. Fun ones, not educational or work-related. I have re-ordered by TBR stack and can’t wait to dig in. Reading is one of my favorite things, falling into another world, getting absorbed in the characters and plot lines.

* This sounds mundane but personal fitness by way of the gym a minimum of four times a week and continued healthful eating. I’ve been on track the last two months with weightloss so I hope to keep it up.

* I was fortunate to receive two magazine subscriptions (Simpe & Delicious and Rachel Ray) chock full of recipes and fantastic dinner and dessert ideas. I intend to cook one new recipe every other week.

* Personal growth by way of fun classes such as ballet, yoga, wine education events and of course, volunteering. Darling and I have a beat on a new volunteer opportunities caring for horses that are part of a “riding for health,” program. (This particular program works with autistic and Down Syndrome children as a form of therapy.)

In the next three months I plan to reclaim all of myself, parts of me that have been distracted with work, parts of me that have been a bit lost in the last few months.
In the next six months I plan to walk across that stage and accept my MBA.
In the next twelve months I will make decisions that affect my career, my housing situation and more.
In the next twelve months, it all gets better.