Walking With Nora

For the last month a new recipe has been staring at me from the back of the C&H Pure Cane Sugar box just begging me to make it: Utterly Peanut Buttery Bars.

I’ll admit I’m not a huge fan of peanut butter baked goods but this one just sounded too dreamy to pass up and since this is the first time I’ve baked in awhile Irish & I took the time to document (sort of) the process and final outcome to share with the blogosphere.

Ingredients you will need

Crust:
1/2 cup soft butter (1 stick)
1/2 cup peanut butter (smooth or chunky. I chose organic smooth peanut butter; to me it tastes much better.)
1 1/2 cups Granulated Sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

Filling:
2 eggs
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Time to get started!

To prepare the crust:
* In medium bowl mix butter, peanut butter and sugar until well blended.

* Stir in vanilla and mix well.
* Add flour gradually until the mixture is crumbly.

* Reserve about 1 cup of the crust mixture for later.
* Press the remaining crust mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 9 x 13 baking pan.

Onto the filling:
* Beat eggs, 2 tablespoons peanut butter and both kinds of sugar together (mixture will be runny)
* Spread over unbaked crust.

* Sprinkle with reserved crust mixture

Bake approximately 20 minutes or until set and top is golden.

Of course no kitchen adventure is complete without Jack sniffing around the oven for crumbs:

Or Irish making his dinner:

… which eventually turned into this:

(a mexican Hamburger Helper Delight. I tried a tiny bit… surprisingly not that bad!)

And now, back to the topic at hand: dessert!

Optional/Variation: Sprinkle with milk chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate chips immediately after removing from the oven. The result? A delicious peanut butter cup bar dessert!

The recipe says to cool in pan and then cut into bars; I cooled the bars for two hours  and then refrigerated the pan overnight. They are a perfect blend of chewy/crumbly goodness.

Cut into one inch squares and serve with a large glass of ice cold milk.

Enjoy!

(Photos by Irish & Nora)

(an original Nora post today. This may look like a meme but it’s straight from my brain.)

I still…

… sleep with some sort of cuddly thing when I’m alone. Sweatshirt, pillow, ugly ghost.

… worry excessively about things I can’t control even though I know I can’t control them.

… wish I had Sarah Jessica Parker’s body frame.

… cry every time I watch the last episode of Sex and the City. And yes, I’ve seen it at least ten times.

… crave popcorn and M&Ms in the same handful when I’m at the movies thanks to a learned behavior in college.

… wish on shooting stars, fallen eyelashes and 11:11 (only if I notice it’s the time).

… delete pictures I don’t think I look cute enough it.

… struggle with my personal fashion from time to time.

… have a hard time throwing away presents from my parents even if it’s old, doesn’t fit or not “me.” So I save them.

… contemplate permanently deleting my Facebook profile.

… love chocolate more than I should.

… hope to start a positive community effort/organization before I’m 40.

… struggle with certain parts of the IT world.

… need more cookbooks, kitchen supplies and spices.

… have an unparalleled love for Mexican and Italian food.

… would like to live in NYC for a period of time.

… feel unpopular or ugly. I thought that was only a high school thing?

… find a way to the silver lining in all situations.

… try to be nice to everyone I meet, no matter how hard it can be.

… get frustrated when I don’t understand.

… care about the number of hits my blog receives, comments I get and occasionally get struck with Blogger Envy.

… miss being on a college campus (at times).

… hug my parents.

… own a library card.

… read real books, you know, the ink and paper kind.

… notice the small things; not as much as I should, but I notice them.

What is do you still…?

Check out my guest post today on Amber’s blog. Read about “The Things I’ve Learned,” here!

Today I have bagged, borrwed and stolen this meme from SheShe.  

1. My uncle once: owned a houseboat.

2. Never in my life:  will I smoke pot.

3. When I was five: my brother was born.

4. High School was: four years of gossip, drama, who-kissed-who, yearbook editing, excessive dresses for dances and learning to find myself.

5. I will never forget: each wedding I’ve had the honor of being in.

6. I once met: the 1996 St. Louis Cardinals.

7. There’s this girl I know who: is always there for me. Always.

8. Once, at a bar: I walked up to the bouncer, informed him I thought he was hot, and thus began a dating relationship that never should have existed.

9. By noon, I’m usually: making a mental note of when I can eat lunch.

10. Last night: I lazed around with Jack, the laptop and the DVD player. 5 nights in on the recovery and hoping there are only a few left.

11. If only I had: 36 hours in the day.

12. Next time I go to church: Good Friday.

13. The Octomom: needs to seek help, on all levels.

14. What worries me most: is being alone when I’m old.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: the back of my red couch.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: my kitchen.

17. You know I’m lying when: I have no idea. Smile, maybe? I don’t lie much if ever.

18. What I miss most about the eighties: dance class.

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: The King’s ghost. I just think it would be cool.

20. By this time next year: I will be 95% ready to run a half-marathon.

21. A better name for me would be: I wanted it to be Michelle when I was little.

22. I have a hard time understanding: mean people. I just don’t get it.

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: after my MBA I would love my M.A. in International Affairs.

24. You know I like you if: I hug you, send you a card, or offer to bake/cook for you.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my family.

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Slim Pickens? No idea who/what that is.

27. Take my advice, never: make a decision at night. Don’t make rash decisions.

28. My ideal breakfast is: Scrambled eggs with cheese, sourdough toast with butter & grape jelly and a small side of ham.

29. A song I love, but do not own is: Tina Turner, Proud Mary.

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: call me so I can give you the off-the-beaten-path type places to go. And the Arch? Really not all that cool.

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: Irish gave me some last week. Everyone has them. Don’t see the purpose. I was a wannabe in high school.

32. Why won’t people: just get along? If we could all get along on a daily basis I think we really would be happier.

33. If you spend the night at my house: you better like dogs. Jack is very friendly.

34. I’d stop my wedding for: nothing.

35. The world could do without: Bratz dolls, guns(for violence, for food I can be okay), gossip.

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lose my family. Hell, I’d eat a whole bunch of cockroaches if that meant I’d never lose my family.

37. My favorite blonde is: Aunt who lives in Florida.

38: Paper clips are more useful than: post-its.

39. If I do anything well, it’s: lending a shoulder for support.

40. And by the way: I sincerlely hope spring hurries up.

(Thanks again to all of you for your lovely thoughts, support and get well wishes on all accounts the last several days. My family and I are still struggling but we will get through!)

I’m back to work today.

I wish I could say everything is going smoothly but in fact life without pain killers just plain sucks. Dealing with idiotic coworkers on top of pain and lack of food, which translates into lack of energy is doubly sucktastic. (The pain killers I have are so fabulous that basic social functions are near impossible so forget driving, working, being professional.)

Life without real food?  Totally stinks.

Sure the first few days of pudding, jello, dreamsicles and mashed potatoes sounds appealing but after three days? Um, someone pass the bread, or cheese or chicken. I’m Italian and I love real food. I’m not afraid to admit.

I will take the weight loss (three pounds and counting) since it gives me an edge and leg-up as to where I want to be. I’ll even take the hugs from my parents and Irish because who doesn’t love hugs?

But the rest of it I’m ready to leave. I’m an impatient patient. I want to be at the gym, I want regular dinners (I’m craving broccoloi.), I want my regular social life back, my energy to return and no more pain!

I wish I had a more exciting, upbeat, positive outlook for this snowy, cold, blustery morning. And yes, I said SNOW. It’s April and we have dustings of snow.

So in order to not be a total debbie-downer, please leave a comment with one happy thing you enjoyed over the weekend.

My top three happy things: Going to the grocery store with Irish yesterday (domestic things make me happy), starting over with Season One of Friends, the fact that Darling texts.

Since 3pm on Thursday I’ve been beautifully dressed in sweats, yoga pants and Hanes white t-shirts for men. I’ve been surrounded by bottles of water, ice packs and medicine bottles. (Post-surgery is the only time in my life that I say “yes,” to drugs.)

Since then:

* I have managed to finish the entire first season of 30 Rock, How to Steal a Million, The Deal and Enchanted all via NetFlix as well as eliminate some really crappy movies I had on my queue.

* Worked from the comfort of my bed.

* Taken three naps with Jack.

* Watched Twilight with my mom.

* Had three milkshakes, the best one from Dairy Queen.

* Attempted to eat scrambled eggs and mashed potatoes with limited success. So far the easy and safe foods are dreamsicles, pudding and Laughing Cow cheese.

* Lost two pounds in two days due to aformentioned diet.

* Played three hours of Wii, from the couch, with Irish.

* Enjoyed many free games on MSN.com

* Talked to Darling about countless things: learning how to knit, new recipes I want to try, post-apartment lease plans, cleaning and more

* Found out that I’m indeed going to New Orleans in July for work; Irish gets to come too!

* Discussing a trip to NYC with my parents and Irish to attend the Grand Opening of my Godfather’s restaurant which prompted lots of day dreaming about things I want to do in NYC

* Decided that I will take Jack for a special dog-grooming next week

* Went from taking pain killers every four hours to every six hours which means I can go to work Monday without being in a complete fog

* Day dreamed about the food I wish I could eat including things like: pizza, mozzerella cheese sticks, nachos, Turkey sandwich and even chips

* Made mental plans for a new workout plan and healthful eating plan to commence once I’m all healed, none of which include the foods I’m day dreaming about.

* Been incredibly thankful for computers, internet, my family, Irish and my friends who have kept me entertained and helped me out the last few days

Fourth surgery down.
Hopefully no more to go.

For all the hype and nervousness about this surgery it has so far gone much better than I ever could have expected. My wisdom teeth were not impacted so the entire experience from prepping me to waking up was about 30 minutes. Add another 20 of resting in the lovely recovery room (I wanted to take one of the leather recliners home with me) and the whole thing was done in less than an hour.

My face is not nearly as swollen as I expected; in fact I think it only looks swollen because of the lovely gauze I have shoved in my mouth.

I am not saying it’s been a pleasant experience considering the anesthesia has yet to leave my system and I’ve taken the pain pills to keep the reality of the ouchiness at bay, so I’m wandering around in a bit of a fog, slightly dazed and confused if you will.

Irish came over tonight with Dreamsicles, a cute Tiger stuffed animal and individual bouquets of flowers for myself, my mom and my dad.

The best part about this surgery is that I’m not allowed to do anything for about 48 hours so I’m watching movies, catching up on blogs and playing around on the internet. (Sadly my brain isn’t working well enough to let me read, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m in the mood to fall asleep at a moments notice. Either way.)

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Additionally, I can’t thank all of you enough for the amazing support, kind words, prayers, poems, offers and sympathy you offered up with regards to yesterday’s post. Bear is now in Dog Heaven and while the day was certainly hard for all of us, we know he’s in a better place and much, much happier. I was able to spend time with him today, feeding him my milk shake and kissing him numerous times on his head before I retreated to my room. 

Fortunately we were able to do the procedure at our home where he was most comfortable, surrounded by my parents (I chose not to be in there. Crying & gauze & wisdom tooth surgery don’t mix), the other dogs, and our love. After the vet took him away which I foolishly watched from my window inducing the crying I had hoped to avoid, my parents and I hugged, shared memories and even attempted to crack a few jokes. I really don’t think I could have reacted so sanely to the whole procedure if I didn’t have this blog as my outlet, fantastic blog friends, and the support of several of my IRL (in real life) friends. Many hugs and love to all of you.

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And in the spirit of me continuing the GiST, a few happy things despite all the angst and sadness:

* A mobile vet who is literally an angel. She hugged Darling and patted my father’s hand before she left.

* Irish for being supportive, caring, and there to stroke my hair during my moments of sadness and darn jaw pain.

* Netflix streaming online movies/TV.

* Gauze. Enough said.

* Darling and my father for playing nurse to me for the next few days.

* A day off of work; I’m working from home but it’s so much cooler when you can work in your sweatpants!

I don’t normally write blog posts when I’m an emotional knapsack (anyone know where I stole that line from?) but today it’s a different story. (I also apologize for the lack of creativity and well-formed sentences and any grammar/typos in this post. I just need to get this out.)

One of my family dogs, Bear, is sadly going to be euthanized, a term I hate because it sounds so medical, on Thursday night.

(I don’t have any photos of Bear on my work computer which perhaps will make this less sad and less real. I’m not entirely sure.)

Bear came to us in 1996, a cute, cuddly little fur ball of a puppy, a combinaton of Black Lab/German Shepherd/probably a little Husky in there too. My brother named him Bear because as a puppy that’s exactly what he looked like: a baby bear.

I took on the responsibilities of working with him on learning how to sit, lie-down, potty training and etc. I slept with him in the kitchen on countless nights, waking up at 2 a.m. for bathroom runs, played with him endlessly and even tried to crate train him. (He detested the crate. He preferred people and soft carpets to the crate.)

Bear went from a small 10 pound puppy to a full-sized, protector-of-the-house-and-family dog within a year weighing an astounding 90 pounds.

He’s never liked the vet. He’s never liked strangers coming in our house and he made it quite clear which boys he did and did not like when I brought them home. (For the record, he loves Irish.) He has a loud, strong bark that terrifies the UPS man.

If you know Bear or got to know him, he’d love you as much as he loves our family. Not a night goes by he doesn’t sit by the table hoping for some table scraps or joins the family in the living room in hopes of obtaining an endless supply of head-petting and belly rubs. He always gets them.

Bear is 13 years old which is a long time to live for a big dog but as of late he’s had trouble walking, climbing steps and standing up after sleeping. It’s horrible to see the pain in his eyes which I interpret as the humiliation he feels for not being able to do what he once could.

After seeing a mobile vet service on the road a few weeks ago I called Darling because she had been looking for an option which didn’t involve loading Bear into the car which was sure to be a painful experience for him. The appointment was last night and the results were dire. Not only is he having hip issues, he has a large tumor in his stomach, which explains the recent incontinence he’s been experiencing.

My parents couldn’t and didn’t want to put him to sleep on the spot, so it’s scheduled for tomorrow.

I’m really at a loss for words; how do you say goodbye to a dog? How you do apologize to him for the pain he’s been through? How do you handle it when the other family dog looks for him? How strange will it be to go to my parents house and not be greeted by Bear? How will Jack react? (Bear and Jack love to play tug of war and chase each other around my parent’s house.) 

Although I haven’t been around for many years of his life (due to college and living on my own), Bear is part of the family, part of my family, our holidays, our photos and much more. I have cried into his fur more than once. We have gone for walks, played fetch, endured stressful trips to the vet, baths (which he hates) and so much more.

He will be missed.

I know they have a good spot for him already in Dog Heaven with lots of meaty bones, a soft bed for him and photos of his family that will love him forever.

Current Book(s):
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Angels & Demons, Dan Brown
(yes, I’m aware I have been attempting to read these for over a month)

Current Music:
Twilight soundtrack
Otis Redding
Marvin Gaye
Eminem

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:
Chocolate Animal Crackers
Junior Mints
Cupcakes
Dreaming about all the baked goods I hope to churn out in April

Current Colors:
Orange, but more of a lobster-y orange.

Current Obsessions:
Scanning the real estate sections for houses
Looking at Morkies online
Blog Friends & my Blog Love project
Work

Current Drink:
Water
Diet 7Up

Current Songs:
Love is Worth the Fall, OAR

Current Movie:
Jane Austen Book Club
Twilight
Sex & the City Movie

Current TV Show:
Friends, repeats
30 Rock (love that I can watch them streaming on NetFlix)

Current Fave Photo:
Key West 2007, Bachelorette Trip for my friend KLF who is coming to visit this Memorial Day!

Current Wish-List:
A week long, technology free vacation
My brother to be accepted at Mizzou
More sleep
Lose weight faster

Current Needs:
A personal trainer
To sit down and make a monthly meal plan
Less stress

Current Triumph(s):
90% of my projects are done at work
Thinking positively

Current Bane(s) of my Existence:
Wisdom tooth extraction (boo Thursday April 2nd)
There are only 24 hours in the day
My sweet tooth is insanely strong lately

Current Goal(s):
Really finish a book this time
Lose three pounds
(Note: I did indeed register for classes towards my MBA as per the goal I stated at the end of February.)

Current Indulgence:
Chocolate

Current Blessing:
Family
Jack
Irish

Current Slang or Saying:
n/a

Current (Fav) Outfit:
New Arden B. black top with rouched sleeves and waist, lobster colored flats from Payless and black dress pants.

Current Excitement:
A wedding to attend in a few weeks to kick off wedding season
Beer festival which we are going to for free
New job roles

Current Mood:
Allergy-laden but happy