Monthly Archives: November 2008

On Living with a Boy…

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So an offer has been made (kind of) for me to live with a boy.
The question several of you have asked me: Would I?

Short Answer: Yes.

Long Answer: Yes, pending certain terms and conditions. (Not that I want this to sound like a business deal or legal agreement. I don’t mean it like that.) Considering I have never entertained the idea of living with any guy speaks volumes about TDH. And me. And our relationship. And where I am in my life. And, and, and…

Before I uproot myself again for, oh, the tenth time in the last six years, I’d want to know mentally and emotionally that there is a going to be a long-term commitment. I don’t mean that another question has to be asked before I move, just that I know that’s where we are headed. Sure, I realize things can change since life is made up of moving parts, but I won’t be one of those couples who is insanely happy yet they’ve lived together for seven years with no formal commitment (whatever that commitment may be). Some people are cool with. I am not.

I’d have to know that the house I’m moving into is now going to be considered my house too. That Jack would be welcome and his little idiosyncracies would be accepted. (He sleeps on his bed at night, but during the day? I know he sleeps on my bed.) I don’t want to feel like a guest or stranger in my new dwellings. It’s not longer my stuff vs. his stuff. It’s our stuff. However, I don’t want anyone to be offended if I write my name on my CDs, movies and books. It’s smart, just in case (enter the scene from When Harry Met Sally regarding fighting over books, coffee tables). Little Miss Independent Nora dies hard sometimes.

I’d have to know that some of my favorite pieces of furniture would have a home. The rest can be in storage, but some things I can’t live without. My pappasan chair, for one.

I’d have to know that my parents are okay with it, and quite frankly, his family too. Yes, I know we are grown-ups but I certainly don’t want to offend anyone or cause ripples in the calm waters.

I’d have to know that I could financially swing it; that the rent/utilities would make sense, along with groceries and etc.

I’d have to know that I won’t be the only one cooking/cleaning/keeping a clean house.

I’d have to know that there will be enough room for my over 40 pairs of shoes.

I’d have to know that I could have friends over for girls’ night and it not be an inconvenience.

I’d have to know that I could find a great gym nearby.

Most of all I’d have to know that if/when this happens, that we’re willing to take on any bumps, winds and curves in the road that we don’t expect.

I already know I love the guy. The rest will just (have to) work itself out.

And for your viewing pleasure, in my opinion one of the funniest/best fights on TV:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/XiV_HcNTL-Q&hl=en&fs=1]

The Bag

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It’s no surprise that I fauxcohabitate (stole the phrase from ScarlettOffCourse) with TDH on a fairly regular basis. Usually the marathon fauxcohabitation begins on Thursday and runs through Sunday night (and no, we do not hang out with only each other during those days). Mondays and Wednesdays we usually do our own thing and Tuesdays get us through the “oh my gosh, I can’t not see you for three days!” situation.

Depending on the weekend’s plans, we’ll pick my place or his so that we eliminate driving, gas expenditure and etc as much as possible for both of us. Lately we’ve been staying at his place a lot. Which is not a problem at all because TDH has a great condo, he really does. Well-decorated. Doesn’t smell like gym socks. It’s pretty clean considering. The only drawback? The BAG.

That’s right, I said THE BAG.

I have to decide what I’m going to wear for the next four days and nights. I have to pack thongs (work clothes, you know), boy shorts (much better for sleeping in than thongs), sleep clothes, workout clothes, work clothes, fun clothes, at least five paris of shoes/heels since I never know what I’ll be in the mood for, jewelry for each outfit, make-up, hair dryer, flat iron, lotion, face wash, bras, books, things to keep me busy when TDH geeks out and plays video games, Jack dog food, Jack dog bed, Jack dog toys, warm winter gloves, scarves, hat, school stuff, work stuff… and I think that’s it.

In case you didn’t know, I’m a Libra. And apart from the obsessive event planning I do in my life, I can’t make a decision to save my life, especially about what outfit I’m going to want to wear on Sunday. Or what book I’ll want to read. Or which earrings I’ll be wearing.

And THE BAG gets heavy with all of those things I mentioned. At first I used my really awesome rolling suitcase but I can’t fit everything I need in there. So now I use a huge duffle bag, my messenger bag for school stuff, my laptop case for work stuff, and then Jack’s things just float around in my car.

Oh, and did I mention that THE BAG then sits in the middle of TDH’s dressing room for the duration of my stay? I’m sure he loves that.

I do leave a few things there: mini-shampoos, hairspray and other toiletries so I don’t have to haul them around, a sweatshirt, some bobby pins and etc, but nothing major. His parents, while they probably know I stay there, don’t really know and I don’t want to fall out of their good graces this early in the game so I don’t leave an excessive amount of stuff laying around his condo.

The whole BAG situation is really humorous to me. Mostly because when TDH comes over he only brings his work pants, work shoes and a shirt. That’s it. Must be so nice to be a guy sometimes.

If you ever see a girl who looks like a well-dressed bag lady, it’s probably me, headed to TDH’s.

Getting to Know You: Little Miss Obsessive Edition

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Online interviews with my favorite bloggers (see Blog Roll for my ever-growing list of favorites). Questions by me. Answers by the featured blogger. First up, Little Miss Obsessive. She’s a great writer, has a fresh view point on all things dating, work and life related and is funny too. Enjoy!

Name/Alias: Little Miss Obsessive
I started a blog because…. I always loved reading blogs. I started with This Fish and then I found Charming But Single and then Skrinkering Hearts and I would read them from start to finish, like a book. I really connected with blogs about being single and I loved being able to relate to their feelings and stories. So finally I decided to start my own for two reasons – one, writing was always a great form of therapy for me and two, I thought maybe there would be people out there who could relate to ME the same way that I related to my favorite bloggers.
 
If Hollywood decided to make a movie about me, I would want Mandy Moore to play me (I just love her and I think she’s got a little quirk to her like me)
 
My favorite thing to do on a Friday night is…. go out to dinner with some of my closest friends and indulge – app’s, drinks, delicious food, dessert and great company – what could be better. :)
 
Complete the statement “I recommend…” (it can be a show, movie, book, restaurant, website, activity, etc.)
LOST if you have not seen it – rent the DVD’s and catch up before it comes back on Jan 21st… trust me!
I also recommend this little gem of a website: www.mixwit.com – Create mixtapes the internet lover way!
 
If you knew could you try anything and not fail (and money was no object), what dream would you attempt?
Growing up my dream was to be an Olympic figure skater but nowadays, my dream would be to travel the world as a photographer.
 
What one item in the kitchen best describes you and your personality?
The spork lol. Because like a spork (which is a combo of spoon and fork, just fyi) I can be a combo of many things. I’m equal parts sweet and bitchy. I’m equal parts sane and crazy. I can be innocent but I can be trouble. I’m kind of a walking contradiction, much like the spork. ;)
 
Three things you want my readers (and yours!) to know about you that they may not already know:
1. I’m the happiest when I am at the beach – day or night.
2. I’m a self proclaimed, TV loving, couch potato and I make no apologies for it!
3. I love making new blog friends, I love e-mail (littlemiss.obsessive@live.com) & I love finding new blogs to read so please don’t be shy!
 
If I had to pick three adjectives to describe myself, they would be: silly, affectionate and loyal.
 
Most prized possession: My teddy bear I’ve had my whole life. He’s been around the world with me and was my first friend – man, I’m a dork.

Favorite obsession: Twilight… or more specifically a 17yr old sexy vampire named Edward.
 
Hardest decision you’ve had to make yet: I’m going to go with a recent decision which was a couple weeks ago when I found out that my Mom needed to have open heart surgery; I found out the day before I was set to go on a big vacation I’d planned months and months ago. My Mom was begging me to go on my vacation but I just didn’t see how I could leave her. So it was stay and lose out on $1000 or go and possibly really regret it. I ended up staying with her and of course I don’t regret it a bit. (But it does suck about losing the money)
 
Free association time!
Red – Hot
Dog – Want!!
Love – Bug
Boy- Silly
Blogging – Barbie
Mexican – Margarita
Bud Light- Lime

(Editor’s Note: If you want to be interviewed next, email me at nora(dot)laylou(at)gmail.com or leave me a comment here and I’ll contact you!) I would like to post an online interview each week. If I don’t hear from anyone, I’ll work my way down my blogroll!)

Wacky Wednesday turned wonderful…

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I know I need to stop harping on this, but damn, grad school is kicking my butt. I’m currently at the office sipping a RedJak Energy Drink since they were out of my usual Full Throttle (sob) so that I can make it through the day despite my business law coma.

I’m not really having the best week thanks to the Friend situation, then my DVD player broke and has a Sex & The City DVD stuck in it, Jack has been sick the last two days, my house is kind of messy, I’m not getting my required eight hours of sleep a night, the insides of the gym are a distant memory, I haven’t been able to go out and play with TDH much less my friends and I’m annoyed with myself over some things that have been bothering me lately.

I guess TDH caught on to the rough week I’ve been having.

This morning I received 24 white daisies with pretty yellow sprigs of something that I can’t identify at the office. I honestly didn’t think they would be for me. I saw his phone number on the delivery card and realized they were from him.

I turned into such a girl, palms all sweaty like I was about to go on a first date again. Ripping the plastic off to read the enclosure card. Yup, definitely from TDH. With a sweet little note that made me all teary-eyed at my desk. How professional of me.

In addition to the lovely flowers, I received a blog award today thanks to Little Miss Obsessive!

So here are rules:

1. Post the award on your blog.
2. Link me for giving it to you.
3. Link the originating post here.
4. Pass the award on to five more deserving people.
5. Post these rules for your recipients.

Now, while it’s super hard for me to choose only five, here it goes:

Darling
SheShe
Byron
Imogen
Liz (Will There be Cake?) 

superior

So, I suppose it’s going to be a good Wednesday after all.

Thanks to Little Miss for the award.
And TDH, I know you read this now, so I can publicly thank you for the lovely flowers.

Tidbit Tuesday, Evening Edition

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  • Blog Secret. Project completed, thanks to Nilsa who thought it up, spent hours putting it together, and saw it through. I haven’t read all 79 secrets yet, but the ones I have read have been a blend of confusion, sadness, trauma, revelations, hope, looking for inspiration and more. If you have some free time, check ‘em out. And my secret? Yup, it’s out there, somewhere. And no, I’m not telling.
  • Wedding Free! I am officially free of weddings and wedding receptions until sometime in April when one of TDH’s best buds from high school is tying the knot. My checkbook welcomes the relief and my closet is breathing a sigh of relief at not having another bridesmaid dress crammed into it.
  • Graduate School. Four weeks left in the Business Law from hell course. Then a four week break and many of you will be pleased, but probably not surprised, to know that I have indeed signed up for classes in January. As much as I would like a break from school, I’m not a quitter, and I would like to have my Masters done so that the rest of my life can begin.
  • Friends. A lot of things happened for me all at once this summer. I met TDH. New job responsibilities. Moved out of my place with ManMate. One of my best friends moved across the country. Another went through a painful break-up. Two more were married. Another started dating a great guy. We all started going separate ways.  My married friends are busy with family and house-decorating, new jobs, managing schedules and bills and new pets. I reach out to my “single,” friends on a very regular basis but schedules are so conflicting it’s maybe twice a month we can get together. Several of my very best friends don’t even live in my city, so we resort to incessant emails, phone calls a few times a week and keeping tabs on one another through Facebook. I guess I just kind of feel lately like I’m floundering around friendless. It’s kind of bumming me out.
  • Living together, what?  A few of you pointed out that I slyly slipped in the mention of TDH and I living together. Take a moment, catch your breath. It’s not happening anytime soon, I mean, I’m still decorating my apartment (and have nine months left on my lease). It’s come up in casual conversation before, but on Saturday TDH asked me what my “plans,” are for when my lease is up. Why, you ask? He wants to live with me. I’m pretty sure my heart melted for the 1,204,393 millionth time. See, I told you it’s not happening anytime soon.
  • Jackers! Update on the dog bed: He’s obsessed. He climbs in it voluntarily a lot. I find toys hidden under the “mattress.” If I move it from one room to another, he follows me in concern. I am so glad it’s working and very relieved I don’t have to vacuum my bed anymore.
  • Twilight!!! I am going to see the movie this Friday night with a few friends. My ticket was bought and paid for several weeks ago. I know the movie is probably going to toy with the vision of Edward and Bella I have in my head, but I wouldn’t be a completely crazed, addicted fan if I didn’t go see the movie on opening night, right??
  • NaBloPoMo: More than halfway through the month. I can keep on plugging, right…???

BlogSecret

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As many of you know, I chose to participate in BlogSecret. This is has been a very challenging yet rewarding experience for me.
The post below is not written by me but by someone else who was brave enough to submitt a secret to the Lovely Nilsa who put BlogSecret together. Feel free to leave comments for the author of this blog as they know where their secret is posted and may check in on it.
To see a list of all the other blogs hosting secrets today, check out Nilsa’s page for the blog links.

As with a good portion of the US, I come from a “broken” home. Parents
divorced when I was very young, both remarried, summers & every other
holiday with dad (who moved flying distance away) blah, blah, blah.
Typically, I adored my father growing up, he of the staying up late, and
eating of junk food, and going to amusement parks, and no rules or
spankings or homework or chores or groundings! Daddy Daddy what’s not to
adore? (not that I didn’t love and respect my mom more than words can say,
but she also grounded me on a regular basis, so I had a little more
realistic view of her)

Around the age of consent, I was smacked with a big ole wake up call about
the fallibility of my hero worshiped father. And in one fateful moment, he
broke my heart and our relationship. I was having surgery–nothing huge,
but enough to require anesthesia, rehab, and pain meds–and he didn’t call
me. And he didn’t call me the day after. Or the day after that. And then
he called–upset. Upset because I hadn’t called him for Father’s Day the
day before–when I was still having a horrible reaction to the anesthesia,
unable to sit up without being sick or passing out.

And it dawned on me that my father didn’t know anything about me that he
couldn’t attribute to the me of 10 years earlier. The man never called,
never visited, and knew nothing about ME. I was always the one to call and
visit, and even in those tasks I was assaulted with his guilt. After
almost 18 years, I realized my father didn’t know who I was as a person.
He didn’t know my friends, my boyfriend of 3 years, my fears, my goals,
NOTHING. To him, I was still the 3 year old he had to leave behind in the
divorce. I realized that all my life, I had been responsible for my
relationship with my father. Even at 6, and 10, and 12, and 15, I had to
be the grownup, and carry the burden of both sides of our relationship.
And the day he accused me of being a bad daughter after not even
acknowledging my surgery, he broke my heart because the weight of those
realizations hit me.

To this day, my father and I have no real relationship. I’m over my anger,
though it does still hurt my heart. I refuse to carry the relationship for
both of us, so I make my calls, write my emails, and think of him when it
occurs to me, but I no longer allow him to make me feel guilty about
anything. I try to keep him updated on my life, to the extent that I can.
I am one of those people who can say “I haven’t spoken to my dad in 6
months”, “I haven’t seen my dad in 5 years”, and I fear that the day will
come when I will say, “My father died and we never really knew each
other.” And then my heart will hurt all over again, for being so typically
broken.

blogsecret_badge1

Who Invented Mondays?

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Seriously, whoever invented Mondays is on my sh!t list. I suppose if we didn’t have a Monday, we’d still have a first day of the week but still. Monday. They inevitably stink no matter how much sleep you get, how great your hair looks, what outfit you chose to wear, the fact that you are loved by several people.

I knew my Monday would rock when I get a phone call from my office as I’m pulling into the parking lot at 8am because our Training Manager, who schedules our classes, didn’t know that we had a class today. Let me repeat that. Training Manager. Job = schedule classes. Didn’t know we had a class. That he scheduled. That I saw on his schedule.

Other things that I’m overcoming on this fine, cold Monday:

  • On top of that, we had no internet or email when I arrived. The Boss is out today which means other boss (Training Manager) is spastic and it is my fun job to keep him in check.
  • I got maybe three hours of sleep last night thanks to ridiculous nightmares that I kept having.
  • I feel unsettled and restless as a result of the lack of sleep.
  • I have five essays to write by Wednesday night for grad school. Rather than write them I would like to go tanning, dye my hair, go shopping, take a nap, buy my Christmas cards, watch a Christmas movie, make a really kick ass dinner for TDH, spend time with my friends and go to the gym.
  • I had to postpone a double-date with one of my best buds for this coming Saturday as TDH has plans with the boys that I forgot about and now she’s pissed off and canceled the other plans I had with her for girls’ night this week. She said she doesn’t want to reschedule since we never have corresponding free nights. Awesome.
  • One of my ex’s exes is here taking a class this week. She’s stopped by my desk twice to see how I’m doing. It’s not really a big deal but it’s kind of awkward.

I have no exciting weekend highlights to share other than:

  • margaritas with TDH on Friday (very good idea until I woke up Saturday morning… then very bad)
  • A conversation with TDH about living together
  • a so-so wedding reception we attended on Saturday which lead to me drinking four glasses of wine, pictures in a photobooth, nasty looks from his friends that are girls = a very uncomfortable Nora, and conversations about what our wedding would like (current idea: Italian wedding, Irish honeymoon. Fair compromise I say)
  • James Bond & pizza with my family and TDH yesterday evening, which was actually quite fun
  • Much needed cuddling with my man. Last week was a whirlwind and we didn’t see each other until 9pm on Thursday followed by a weekend that flew by much too quickly. I love seeing other people, going to parties, hanging with family and etc, but I need a healthy dose of “us,” time on occasion, especially to get me through the week.

So, whoever invented Mondays should definitely stay away from me until the mood clears and I can inject some caffeine directly into my veins.

New Addiction: Sons of Anarchy

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Ladies & Gentlemen, Friends & Family:

I must confess. I have a new addiction. Sons of Anarchy. A biker gang show on FX. TDH’s friend got us hooked. Since neither of us have cable, every Thursday eve after dinner at TDH’s parents house, we cuddle up on a couch or bed an watch the latest episode courtesy of hulu.com.

(Hulu.com means you don’t need cable anymore. TV shows new and old, newscasts, movies and more, all posted, all for FREE. Yes, literally FREE. Check it out. You’ll thank you me later.)

The opening theme song is totally addictive, has me dancing every time it comes on. The show itself is a man’s soap opera, a little bit Sopranos meets Rescue Me meets 24. It’s violent. It’s brash. It’s sexy. It’s bikers. TDH and I are going to be biker chick and man for Halloween next year, complete with Sons of Anarchy vests.

Here’s a taste of the show that may get you hooked:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/qNZSbtmtsMU&hl=en&fs=1]

What are you hooked on lately?

Do you ever want to…?

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Courtesy of PeterdeWolf. I think he meant this to be rhetorical, but I’m answering anyway.

just embrace being happy? Yes, most definitely. It’s not as easy as one would think, having to deal with internal and external pressures, judgments, etc etc. I’m learning. I’m getting there and it feels awesome.

forget cynicism exists? I’m not very cycnical, at least not anymore, so this is easy for me. Although several of my friends are still cynics so I guess I can’t forget about it too much.

enjoy being uncool? So this is implying that I am uncool? I suppose that nanny-ing on a Saturday night, scrapbooking on an occasional Friday night, watching a movie you’ve seen for the millionth time could be considered uncool. Or it could be considered part of your life and just another day. However, that’s my adult answer. In high school I wish I could have enjoyed being uncool. I was kind of a dork. Yearbook editor, former flute player. I cared what other people though too much.

be silly and loopy? I am definitely sillier than I used to be. I think it comes with happiness to be quite frank. And being comfortable being yourself.

turn the music up?  louder? I love my music to be loud, especially if it’s a song I love. It’s not uncommon to have super loud music in my car. And when I get ready to go out? It’s all rap, baby. Hopefully my next door neighbors don’t mind.

ball your pants up and throw them? I have done this. Usually in my sleep. I can’t sleep with sweats or PJ pants anymore.

only eat the middles of your Pop-Tarts? No! The crust is my favorite part. Try this: pop tart, toasted so the edges are just slightly brown, with a little melted butter on top. Sounds gross, but it’s pastry with butter. Yum. Yum. Yum.

pull their lower lip down with your thumb and forefinger? Ha, I don’t have an interest to do this but TDH does it to me on occasion and thinks it’s funny. It is most definitely NOT funny. Okay, well kind of funny. But I don’t like it.

ask the homeless guy “Why?” Can’t say I’ve ever thought this.

tell people that you loved “Sam’s Town” and that they should fuck off? I have no clue what Sam’s Town is…?

catch a snowflake on your tongue? Confession: while walking my dog in the snow I will stand there and try to catch them. I only wind up catching them in my eyes, eyelids, hat, hair, etc.

spin around and around and around in your desk chair? Heck yes!

pet that puppy on the corner? Um, do you know me? I love, love, love puppies. I would steal puppies sitting on the corner if it wasn’t illegal and I owned a farm.

dance on the sidewalk? Who’s to say I haven’t?  I have. It feels good. Goes with the silly/loopy thing.

stay in this moment forever? Recently more often than not.

Do you ever just want
the person sitting across from you
to want it too? I’m pretty sure the guy I spent a lot of time with who sits across from me agrees to this one. Thank goodness.