I’ll admit that as much as I seem to have my shit together, there are moments where I fear the vulnerability of being in love, of being a grown-up, where I think maybe I should turn back and run to the starting point instead of putting it all out there and risking getting hurt (not just by TDH, but in general), which seems safer, but far less rewarding than the way things are going now.
I shared with my Boss (aka Dad) some of my recent feelings as my future and my life become more clear to me as he is a solid rock for me to lean on if I’m having a “girlie moment.” And he, in turn, shared this with me:
From “The Prophet,” by Kahil Gibran
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become scared bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but itself.
Love possess not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say “God is in my heart,” but rather “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, it directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must have needs and desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return hom at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a praryer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
I can’t say it better than that myself. Total immersion. I think that’s the only way to do it. It’s not always easy, but man, is it worth it.
