Walking With Nora

Taking a page from Darling’s blog, I’m turning my attention to books today.

I finished Shadow of the Wind on Tuesday evening. It’s been awhile since a non-chick lit book made me turn pages as quickly as this one did. There are some excellent quotes throughout the book that of course I can’t recall about love, the human condition and life, not to mention a great plot full of mystery, intrigue and twists/turns at every corner.

I’ve moved on to A Farewell to Arms. I’ve read this book at least twice since college. The day it was assigned to me in my Lit class I started it and finished in. In a matter of about three hours. TDH is reading it after he finishes David Sedaris for the first time so I’m being a superdork and reading it again so we can talk about it. (That’s one of the great things about him… we love to read, so we read together and talk about what we are reading, why we like it, etc etc.)

Grad School starts on August 18th which means that my pleasure reading is going to have to subside which kind of makes me sad simply because I have two other books on my shelf begging to be read. Cry of the Dove, a book I randomly picked up at Barnes & Noble, didn’t purchase, and went back weeks later looking for it and The Tattooed Soldier, a book I bought for $3 based upon the back cover. I also have a list of books to read that is at least a page long.

I forgot how wonderful it is to be gobbled up by a story, reading as quickly as possible while still savoring the words and pondering the meaning. It’s been far too long and now that I’m back into my literary mode I’m hesitant to abandon it again.

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your significant other? TDH

3. Your hair? fancy ponytail

4. Your mother? fabulous

5. Your father? Sicilian

6. Your favorite thing? clothes
7. Your dream last night? disturbing

8. Your favorite drink? water

9. Your dream/goal? successful

10. The room you’re in? office

11. Your ex? idiot

12. Your fear? loneliness

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? smiling

14. Where were you last night? TDH’s

15. What you’re not? hypocrites
16. Muffins? chocolate
17. Where you grew up ? USA
18. The last thing you did? email

19. What are you wearing? dress

20. Your TV? home
21. Your pets?  JACK!

22. Your computer?  work

23. Your life? fascinating
24. Your mood? jolly

25. Missing someone? always

26. Your car? white!

27. Something you’re NOT wearing?  stockings

28. Favorite store? Limited
29. Your summer? steamy

30. Like someone? yup
31. Your favorite color?  blues

32. When was the last time you laughed? 7am

Alright, normally I’m the bridesmaid who has no problems, no issues, no gripes with the other bridesmaids. Until now.

One of my very best friends who understands me in ways some of my other friends don’t is getting married in September. I’m in the wedding (duh). Her bridesmaids are scattered around the bi-state area, as is her current and future family. The solution? Three showers. One in Mid-Mo to which I’m attending because her family is awesome, those bridesmaids are totally chill; one here that I’m co-hosting and on in Illinois where her future family is.

So the one here is themed, of course, in the flavor of a Mexican Fiesta (Mel is not a super-bride/bridezilla chick. She’s totally low-key and could care less about flower arrangements or tea to which I say AMEN!), with elements of a pool party combined. At the outset I offered up a budget to the other girl I’m hosting with (who still lives at home, which is fine, but a key detail) and we agreed we could do a Mel-Friendly Shower with my budget and hers.

Well this other girl who shall remain nameless just in case tells her mom what we are doing regarding invites, food and etc and apparently her mom doesn’t like it. We are using this other girl’s house so of course they have a say but the whole entire plan has been transformed. We went from casual, cute, cheap invites to her mom purchasing the invites for us. (I know I shouldn’t complain about free but I had no say in the invites, what they look like, the color scheme.) The menu was decided on without my consent. Liqour choices were made. Table decorations have been purchased and designed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I want Mel to have the best shower ever but I’m kind of peeved that I wasn’t consulted in any of these things until after they were purchased. Is that wrong? I told this other girl it all sounded good but that I feel totally left out of the decision making process, wish I had been asked to tag along to see the invites and to let me know what I could do. That was a week ago. My emails and phone calls have gone unanswered.

I feel estranged from my own friends shower, one that I’m helping to pay for!

I know there is nothing I can do at this point but I swear, when I get married, just get us some wine, throw us in a room and I promise we’ll have a good time. I just want to be with my friends and family without the drama.

I’ve been a crappy blogger lately. With everything that’s been going on lately I haven’t had a ton of time to myself, or if I have, I’ve been sleeping.

Between the emotional drama from the awful accident on my street, enjoying TDH so much that we avoid sleep as much as possible, working out as often as I can for my sanity and to keep the title of “hot girlfriend,” that TDH’s friends have given me, working, taking care of Jack, finding my apartment and etc etc etc, staring at a computer screen has been low on my list of things to do.

So I suppose it’s update time…

• The Top Five. I met another one of TDH’s top-five-friends-that-must-give-me-approval on Friday night. His friend was awesome. His friends girlfriend, not so much. We met at the Chocolate Bar where I proceeded to order AND share the chocolate sundae overdrive which is basically some of the best ice cream in the world with copious amounts of hot fudge sauce and whipped cream on it. We sat outside in the StL humidity and exchanged pleasantries and casual conversation for a little over an hour.
• Hiking. KH, TDH and myself ventured out for a 3.5 mile hike yesterday in the heat of the day (which was a bad idea, though hiking in itself was pretty awesome). We saw only one deer while we were on the trail, a variety of stupid flies that buzz, buzz, buzzed around my ears, and several scuttling animals that went so fast we were unsure as to what they were and decided it was best to continue the trek. I am definitely going back when it’s not 100 degrees in the woods and can actually enjoy the trip a little more. And maybe do more than 3.5 miles.
• Kickball. Coming up in the next hour, I’m playing on TDH’s kickball team this afternoon since they are short a few people. I have no clue what I’m doing so I’m gunning for a position in the outfield.
• Alone time. As in time to myself. Dating is awesome, TDH never ceases to amaze (he brought me gorgeous sunflowers on Friday night) but between all the dates and everything mentioned in the paragraph at the beginning of this blog little things slip like taking movies back to Blockbuster on time. Cleaning the apartment. Catching up on emails. I’ve had a fair amount of it this week (Wed/Thursday, some hours yesterday and today) and while I really would like to be with TDH or my friends it’s nice to be alone with my thoughts. And Jack, of course, who is incessantly bringing toys to my feet.
• ManMate. It’s official. August 15th I’m moving out of my current place. Only three more weeks with him as a ManMate. I’m excited but it’s also bittersweet. He’s been such a great friend who’s turned into a brother. I’m nervous in a sense… maybe because I know that we’ll no longer see each other between our busy schedules and lifestyle choices. The only time we’ll catch up is when he’s kicking my butt at the gym. It’s hard for me to let go sometimes. I’ve helped him with life choices, financial situations, girl advice, work advice and so much more in the last two years that it’s hard for me to think of him turning to someone else for a change. I suppose it’s time he figures it all out on his own. He is, after all, 28.

I try really hard to keep from making this a totally complaining blog for a few reasons:

1) Who likes a Debbie Downer?

2) What I would like to complain about could be read by someone and get me in trouble, especially when it pertains to my job

However, this week, apart from The Stellar Boss (aka Dad) and the fact that we think alike, this week at work has been H-E-double hockey sticks. My other boss who shall remain nickname-less… well, he sucks. That’s the best way to explain it. And I know I have a great job, great benefits, so much future potential and oddly while I was in Houston I discovered I’m much more passionate about our little family business than I thought so I doubt I’ll leave.

But on weeks like this I dream of the jobs I wish I had. Here they are:

• Full-time Nanny. I don’t care if it’s for a famous baseball player or for my favorite kid (Little Man). I love kids, I love the jobs involved with it, I love being a nanny.
• Wedding Planner. Seriously. I know that being a bridesmaid seven times doesn’t qualify you to plan weddings, but I’ve learned a lot. And apart from the day you have a kid, it seems this is the right up there in the top five best days of your life so aside from the bridezillas and stress, it would be great to have a job revolving around love.
• Dog Shelter Owner. It would probably have to be a dog shelter farm or something as I would never, ever put a dog to sleep but as much as I love kids, I love dogs too. They deserve love, nurturing, a comfy couch and a good home.
• Cruise Ship Director. It’s the event planner in me. I don’t see anything wrong with being on a boat, with the ocean surrounding you, traveling from one palm tree filled destination to the next. Maybe the small quarters and constant boat rocking, but I could handle that.
• Personal Shopper. Combining two interests: clothes + people. Enough said.
• My reach dream job: Press Secretary for the White House. When I was hooked on The West Wing, I envied Alison Janney. I wanted to be her.
• My reach dream job #2: lobbyist for a non-profit group serving children.
• Date planner/matchmaker. While there are a fair amount of dating services, they don’t tell you what do after you get the date. Where to go, what to do, appropriate attire, presents (if applicable) and etc. I have assisted many of my guy friends in planning dates going so far as to make the reservations for them mostly because they are clueless.

I suppose that if I decide to jump ship, several of those jobs are within my reach. I guess it’s all about taking a leap of faith and going for it…

What would you do if you could have any job you wanted?

• I got the apartment. I can’t wait for my red kitchen, my own place, a big bedroom, room for my shoes to be on the floor, actually having a dining room table and a sunroom that I have no clue what to do with yet.
• Things are starting to settle down on my street. They believe they found the shooter’s remains in the rubble of the house that burned down so for now, we are all calm. I might sleep a little easier now. The neighborhood rallied together last night for a vigil for the fireman and the cops are recovering.
• It’s official: I suck at dieting. I have been craving junk food, junk food and more junk food. Today is the last day of it. I am going to be detoxing starting tomorrow. Thankfully my gym routine is burning up enough calories you can’t notice my relentless appetite but I have a reputation with TDH’s friends as being the hottest girl he’s dated (I saw one the other day and at the risk of being a total bitch, I would agree) and I don’t want that to go away. And I’m doing a ridiculously hard workout tonight. Run to the gym. Weights at the gym. Run home. Yes, yes, I. will. do. it.
• Had another milestone with TDH: Jack went with me to his house. Jack loved it… probably because there is more room to run and carpet, along with an endless supply of ice cubes and fans on the floor, he was thrilled. Well, until he went up the stairs to the loft part of TDH’s house. He wouldn’t go back down. I had to carry him, all 55 pounds of him, yesterday morning at 6am. That was a fun time.
• Shadow of the Wind is a great book. I’m loving it. I am not going to book club, however. I emailed the whole group to let them know I’d be out of town (true) so they don’t think it’s because of stupid Former HB whose emails are getting deleted promptly upon receipt.

Ever seen GoodFellas? If so, remember the scene where Ray Liotta is driving and can hear helicopters everywhere but can’t really see them?

That’s how my morning started. TDH snoozing in my bed, I am dolled up for work, walking Jack and hear the sound of sirens and helicopters in the distance. It’s not unusual to hear sirens… helicopters cruise through on occasion to get from one highway to another, but not usually at 7:40 in the morning. I thought nothing of it until I was on my way to work and discovered that two blocks west of me there was a police stand-off with a shooter, a car fire, a house fire.

Within hours the FBI, military tanks to combat the fire, SWAT team and tactical bomb squads were called in.

One firefighter, at the age of 22, lost his life this morning at the hands of the shooter. Two cops are injured. The house has since burned to the ground, presumably, though not confirmed, with the shooter inside. There are no details as to why the car was on fire, no idea as to why the man started shooting the fireman and police who were trying to help.

MWood is in a state of chaos today; I had to run home to check on Jack as there were rumors that the power on my street was out. There were cops and firetrucks everywhere. Our flags are at halfmast (and rightly so) and everyone’s nerves are a little jangled.

I’m kind of in shock. Can’t believe it was only two blocks from me. That I slept through the sound of the car exploding, that I didn’t hear the gunshots. I can’t fathom that someone would fire at our public servants, that it’s so close to me.

It’s all so surreal and has paralyzed my little township with fear and helpless wonderment. Too bad MWood didn’t get as much press time for their stellar boys’ basketball team as we are for this senseless tragedy.

In response to being tagged in Darling’s blog:

I don’t know much about The Time Machine. So my choices are based upon what I’ve read, or what I’ve heard guys like. I could be way off, but here it goes:

• Ulysses by James Joyce. The Boss has read this three, maybe four times in his life and has the book on CD. TDH enjoys Joyce as well and has read this maybe twice.
• The Bible. Again, not knowing anything about George, it seems like a logical choice if you are traveling through time, wandering around, perhaps a bit lost maybe it will get him through the rough patches.
• The Worst Case Scenario Book. (Pick a volume.) I’m sure this is too contemporary for the actual character and etc, but from what I understand about time travel it puts you in some awkward situations and this book helps you through them.

Now, I have a general question… I just finished the Time Traveler’s Wife and according to that book you can’t take anything from your present into the future or the past and vice versa. So, how can George take books with him?

So the Former HB has resurfaced again. I may have mentioned that the night of my first date with TDH, Former HB informed me, via text of course, that he’s purchased a home about a block away from me. He’s moving in next week. He’s asked me to stop by (don’t worry, I won’t be doing that).

And remember Book Club? Well he’s offered to host the August book club at his new house. I bought the book yesterday and started reading it this morning at Bread Co with TDH (he’s reading a Chuck Klostermann) and so far it’s actually quite good. (We are reading Shadow of the Wind.)

At any rate, my not attending Book Club set off a wave of emails of people asking if I didn’t attend because of the Former HB (no, I was slightly hungover and spending time with TDH); that they would kick him out of book club but they don’t think that’s nice (agreed, we are all adults); would I attend the next one (not sure).

I have a potential out-of-town bridal shower in a few weekends, which happens to coincide with the next book club meeting, which I told the head organizer who I supposed told the Former HB as he sent me an email saying he’s bummed I can’t make it but should feel free to stop by his house at any time.

So as I was reading the book today TDH asked if I was going to the book club hosted by my ex. I said maybe, but if I do attend, that he (TDH) is more than welcome to attend.

The question: Do I go to book club so people realize I’m most certainly not afraid to show my face or do I say screw it and wait until a month when the Former HB isn’t hosting?

… okay, so one could argue I’ve been a “big,” girl since the day I moved out of my parents house to go to college. Or the day I moved out of their house over three years ago to live on my own. Well, I’m officially, 100% going to live alone. I’ve been on my own for years, so that’s nothing new, but not having a roommate is a first. In my twentysomething plus years, I’ve always had at least one roommate. There were times I had two, even three people I shared a place with.

Not anymore. I found a great one bedroom apartment a whole two blocks from where I am now (perhaps I won’t hate moving so much?). A third floor apartment with a balcony, fabulous windows and lighting, a great red kitchen with tons of counterspace and enough room for a dining room table! (You are all invited over for dinner.) My bedroom is as big as the one at my parents house and it has a DOUBLE DOOR CLOSET. Finally, no more tiny little closet in which to keep my massive amounts of clothes. My shoes can finally live on the floor insted of an obnoxious metal shoe rack on the back of my door. I can hang up everything.

Did I mention I get a great sunroom as part of the deal? It’s not hooked up to the central heat/air, but it will be useful at least six months of the year when it’s in between, as it is much of the time here in the MidWest. TDH and his friends have volunteered to move me (I hope I mentioned to them it’s a third floor apartment. TOP floor, actually, which means no annoying neighbors like I have at present), though I’m sure I’ll offer them a steak dinner or something of the sort as payment.

This is the next logical step for me. I thought about buying something but even with the less than desirable house market, decided against it. I love the MidWest but buying something is a little too permanent, makes me a little too stuck here. I can’t wait to take bubble baths with the bathroom door open. I look forward to leaving my heels laying around the living room, although if you know me, you know that will last about two minutes before I put them away in the right spot. I look forward to reading a book on my pappa-san chair (without Jack hair, I hope) on a Sunday afternoon and not having to answer to anyone.

And if I get lonely? Well, maybe that’s why they invented cell phones. Friends and family are just a button away.